Much to write about for a first episode... where to start? Let's see.... to start off, the teams had to pick leaders. No, wait, back up. The best place to start is to discuss what the Survivors are wearing. 'Cause, really, either they're told they have to dress it up... or they're total idiots. You know you're going to a beach in Samoa... so you (if you're Yasmin) wear heels? Whaaaaat? Then there's Mick in his suit, and my personal favourite - Jaison (pronounced, Jay-SAHN) - in a button-up shirt and sweater vest!! Yes, friends, sweater vests are all the rage in Samoa this fall. Seriously, would it be that bad to let them wear athletic clothes so we don't have to see dudes (read: Russell) running around in their underpants?
Back to the show. Mick is leader for team yellow and Russell S (is that right? Too many Russells. We'll call him Master T. If you've ever watched MuchMusic, you'll follow.)... Master T is the leader of team purple. They have to pick a swimmer, a strong guy, an agile person, and a smart person... not knowing their team. Fun, right? So the swim is JaiSAHN vs. John. And don't lie, you're all thinking, "D'oh! Don't pick the black dude to be the swimmer!" Right? You were. And yes, in Survivor history, the African American folks haven't generally been the swimmers. However, turns out Jaison was on some national championship water polo team. Yeah! Plus, he's like six foot twenty or something, so that helps. John probably had a pretty decent swim, but was no match for Mr. Water Polo. Then we notice it... John is swimming in... jeans? I think so. Really, dude? Thing is, later in the show we see him in shorty-shorts. Mike figures he was commando & therefore couldn't doff the Levi's as easily as JaiSAHN doffed the sweater vest. The other funny part is where Liz is picked as the smart one 'cause she's Asian. Hee.
So let's talk about Russell. Russell is a class-A villain. He's stirring the pot. He's making "secret alliances" all over the place. His first alliance is what he calles the "Dumbass Alliance" with the three youngest girls (two as yet interchangeable girls + Marisa). Then he tries to make one with the "old lady".... Let's clarify. Betsy is 47 I think, in really good shape, and a cop. Love Betsy. Betsy distrusts Russell immediately. Betsy is smart. I hope in the future Betsy brings Russell down.
So Russell goes about making life miserable for his team. He pours out all their water & burns poor Jaison's socks in the fire. His crazy tactic works as everyone starts the next day cranky & he watches them fight it out. My favourite was where Marisa is all cranky & says something about just needing some serenity. Russell: "I'll just leave you alone then." Brilliant. Oh, and then there's the part where Russell tells this story about losing his German shepherd, Rocky, in hurricane Katrina. Awwwwww. Wrong. Russell never lived in New Orleans, nor has he ever had a dog. Russell, for this reason, sucks. Well, that and the sock-burning thing. But, does he really suck, or is he really smart at this game? Discuss.
On the other team, Master T is a bit wishy-washy as leader. He lets Ben take over (Ben thinks he is this season's JT, but he's too slimey & obnoxious which'll be his downfall. Trust.) This frustrates Shannon... who, btw, is called Shambo. Yes. Shambo is a former Marine & has a fe-mullet. Shambo is thus called because she wore a bandana similar to.... guess? Right! Rambo. Shambo's not fitting in much with her team (nor is she trying to fit in... which, if you've ever watched this show is the way people win... you don't have to like people or actually fit in... you just have to make nice and PRETEND to fit in... ) Anyways, Shambo's going to annoy her way off the island. Again, trust.
Team Purple won immunity. Yellow had to vote someone off. Looked like it would be Ashley (we'll call her short-haired blonde girl for now), but then Marisa told Russell that she was worried he was talking to so many people. So, Marisa became the target of Russell's rather arbitrary rage. Thing is... at this point, people are actually listening to Russell. So poor Marisa went home. Which is kind of too bad - she seemed pretty likeable & smart, though may have been annoying later on (the way she kept correcting her name pronunciation, saying "MarEEsa" and the mere mention of "serenity"). The best part of the vote though, was when Russell votes and delivers the most cliche line of all time, "You play with fire, you're gonna get burned." Really, Russell? That's all you could come up with? I thought you were a more creative villain.
Makes you miss the Coach, doesn't it? Coach wasn't mean, he was weird. Russell is mean AND weird. Russell at one point says how he owns an oil company and is already a millionaire, so he's not playing it for the money. He's playing to show people how easy it is to win it. Makes you want him to get voted off even sooner doesn't it. And I want it to be a woman - Betsy preferably - who is the cause of his demise. Russell may be a warrior, but he's no Samurai/Viking/Roman/Bird Spirit. Sigh.
Next week, there's a fight & someone gets told to leave the challenge. Russell? Looks like some dude roughs up Yasmin and she stands up for herself. Lots of people we haven't heard anything from yet. Who are you, Brett? Monica? Liz is intriguing. And, ummm... which one was Natalie?
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