It's being billed as one of the biggest, riskiest moves in Survivor history. Substitute "risky" with "ballsy", "gutsy", "crazy" or "stupid" - the choice is yours. Let me know what you guys think... !!
If you didn't see it... Ozzy thoughtfully, then reluctantly, then wholeheartedly (more on this later) threw himself on his sword for his team (more on this later) so that he could go to Redemption Island, beat Christine, and return back to his tribe to have even numbers in the merge. OK.... there's SO much to discuss.
1) I was so excited that someone (even if he does seem stoned) has FINALLY thought of this. If you read this blog regularly, you'll know that I said last year that eventually they're going to figure out that some thought needs to be put into who goes to Redemption Island. If you don't want them back, they should be weak & therefore easy to beat. If you DO want them back - as in this case - you send a strong competitor. Now, none of that takes into account crazy strength & willpower of people like Christine, who I'm sure was not expected to do so well.
2) What are your thoughts on Ozzy's motives? On one hand, he says he's doing it for the tribe. He's just an altruistic guy who wants to do what's best for the group. Do you buy it? I don't think I do. My feeling is that Ozzy loves Ozzy. But, I don't think it's in the Boston Rob way of, damn it, I'm going to do anything I have to to further myself in the game. I think it's more narcissistic than that.... I think Ozzy really digs being the "Survivor Guy" who's kinda worshipped.... He still feels stupid for how he left the game last time, so yeah, there's the Redemption angle (cue Mark Burnett jumping up & down) but also Ozzy wants to be that guy who saves the day, rides in on the white horse and gets the credit. I'm not saying it's entirely wrong, as a little credit goes a long way in this game... but I honestly don't think he's doing it for THE OTHERS like he's trying to make you believe.
3) So... another point, but still on Ozzy. Can we all agree that he's a bit of a baby? He's that guy... we all know someone like that. Outwardly calm, but the bad temper when he doesn't get his way and super good at blaming others. This relates to point #2, because if he really wanted us to believe it was all for the good of the team, he wouldn't have waffled. The team lost the immunity challenge - and it was pretty much Cochran's fault. Immediately Ozzy throws a hissy fit (becoming all to common, non?) and punches & kicks a wall and goes off about it to Jeff and back at the camp... and right away points the finger at Cochran for losing it. So right after telling Cochran about his plan to volunteer himself for Redemption, Ozzy turns on him and has the whole tribe (even Dawn!) saying, "Yeah, you should go, Cochran. And don't worry, you'll do fiiiiiiiiine against Christine." Uh, what? Then later, Ozzy flip-flops again back to his original idea, but by now he's got to convince everyone because they're all ready for Cochran to go. Sigh. If it was really about the team, Ozzy would have acted more like a true leader and shared the blame for the loss. He could have fixed the stupid rope a lot sooner, he could have called someone else in to help out... Jim didn't help sooner, why wasn't it his fault? Everyone loves a scapegoat.
4) Why does no one believe that Christine will join with team Ozzy if she wins and re-joins the game? Uh, it's pretty much common knowledge (remember, people have been to see the Redemption Island challenges) that Christine HATES her old team. Remember her going off on 'Benjamin' and giving Rick the finger? Even if Cochran lost the challenge, they'd get Christine... and have even numbers anyway.
5) How can you not love the risky/stupid nature of Ozzy's plan? If it works and he beats Christine, he's going to look like the awesomest Jesus of the Jungle EVER. There will be little anyone can do to stop him (uh, did anyone think of this?)... 'cause who's going to suggest voting out the dude who saved the tribe? At the end, he IS the saviour on the white horse who did everything "for his tribe".... Now... there are a couple of ways this could go wrong. First, and most obviously, he could lose the challenge. He's not perfect and Christine is pretty fantastic at every challenge so far. She's got the determination and the momentum and the belief in herself for doing so well so far. If she beats Ozzy, he goes home - I don't think he even gets to be on the jury. That would suck & he'd look like a big, huge idiot. The other scenario is that he wins, but there's no merge and his team has to go into another challenge an important man down. They could lose it, have to vote another person out and he'd still have to face another challenge to get back in the game, but now they'd be down a man, so what was it all for? Part of me hopes that his decision comes back to bite him in the ass just a little bit. Oh yeah, is it certain that Ozzy would be able to re-join his team? What if there's no merge and Ozzy has to go to the other team? Huh? What then, smarty pants? My boyfriend Jeff and the other producers like to shake it up a bit just when people are feeling sure they know what's going to happen.
OK, so the other two things we need to talk about are Cochran and Team Coach. Let's start with Cochran:
In some respects, his team was right - he should have taken responsibility and gone to Redemption Island. It would be his chance to win it for his team and man up. Right? On the other hand, Cochran knows he stands very little chance of beating Christine, so why on earth wouldn't he jump on Ozzy's suggestion? I can't really see how this turns out good for Cochran, though. If Ozzy wins & comes back, he's the boss again and well, see point #5 above. If Ozzy loses, the team resents Cochran for being there while their strong competitor Ozzy is gone. Right? Then again, Cochran's got the immunity idol, which he doesn't have to give back if Ozzy doesn't come home. That's pretty nice, but only gets you so far. Remember, these people will be your jury and they think you just weaseled your way into Ozzy's spot. Then again, if I'm Cochran, I think to how none of my team really had my back when push came to shove... oh, hey, blue team.... what up?
Right... and then there's the blue team. Sigh.... I've got nothing against people being religious, but this is getting a bit much, non? The group prayer sessions.... Oh Father, please help us win this challenge, Father, and blah, blah, blah, Father. Yes, I do feel like I may be catching the express bus to Hades just by writing this, but ugh... it's uncomfortable to watch, isn't it? First, you get the feeling not everyone is as into it as the others, right? Sophie's just going along with it. Albert... hard to say. Edna, for sure just going along. Coach and Baby Hantz are the main drivers of this scheme. So here are my thoughts why it's icky:
1) I adore that Sophie pointed out that Coach was ummmm... fibbing in his own prayer... asking God to help find the immunity idol, when he knew he already had it. Funny. Baby will not take kindly to that when he sees the show. Lo & behold & amen! After praying, they found the immunity idol! Hallelujah!
2) Does anyone else find it icky when people pray so hard for themselves? "Help me win" just doesn't seem like the stuff you're supposed to pray for... but I'm on that express bus, so maybe I'm wrong. I was reasonably sure you were supposed to pray for spiritual guidance to important life matters and well... for others, right? You'd think God has some pretty big issues to sort out at the moment....It seems like, "Dear Jesus, let me win a new truck" isn't quite what it's supposed to be about, is it? Am I getting preachy right now?
3) The other icky part - to me anyway - was when their team won the challenge (thanks of course to the power of prayer - cut to Coach praying in the middle of the challenge saying he'll get down on his knees for Jesus if they win) and Coach starts YELLING at everyone on his team to "Get down on your knees! Get down!" It's one thing for him to pray and for him to fall to his knees in thanks, but to order everyone else to do it? Ick. If I'm Sophie, I'm like, uh, yeah, whatever.... and play along, but in my head, I'm thinking, "Freak." Again, just me. What do I know? I do think it's interesting that religion has played such a large part in the last couple of seasons that have been called "Redemption Island." Pretty sure redemption is a fairly Biblical theme, and now we've got Jesus of the Jungle who's martyring himself, you've got Mary Magdalene of the lingerie football league, and you've got a Christian Samurai warrior and his blind, baby follower (they were in the Bible too, right?) Cue to Coach on the beach doing his special form of tai chi that's so top secret you can't even google it - and somewhere an eagle cries (in the South Pacific? What?)
Fade to black.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The Coachability Factor
So.... Ozzy... not so smart, right? Dude got on this show not for his brains so much or his strategic play, but because he can climb a tree like a hot damn. Oh, and that whole Jesus look thing. And the romance potential, what with his serial co-contestant dating. Ozzy's emotions - like those of SO many Survivor players before him - have gotten the best of him. This is where guys like Boston Rob and dare I say Coach have figured it out. It's all about controlling your emotions plus being sociable/likable. Right. Russell, for example, had the emotions thing down, but zero likability (to his fellow Survivors, anyway.) You have to at least be MORE likable than the person you're up against (see Rob vs. Phillip, Sandra vs... whoever.) The point is... Ozzy screwed up. He's got the likability, but blew it by getting all involved with Elyse and then getting pissy when his team voted her out. I get it, you think you're in charge and you're undermined. You need to go away for a bit, be mad and then come back ready to be a team player again. Ozzy did this... only with an emotional outburst in the middle... "Yeah? You know what? I'VE got the hidden immunity idol! That's right!" Oh.... no. So you've got one card left to play and you throw it in everyone's faces. D'oh! This is why Ozzy (probably) won't win or at least shouldn't win. By the end of the show Ozzy was tight with Keith again, but uh... if I'm Keith, I don't keep Ozzy around into the merge. You don't want to compete with that.
Speaking of competing, Christine is officially the new Matt. She's on a roll and beat Elyse in a shuffleboard competition. Yes, that does sound a bit like Seniors' Night at the Community Hall... but whatever. The Survivor people have to come up with challenges that fit in the Redemption Island "theatre". Speaking of challenges... where are all the puzzles? I want more puzzles. Give Cochran and Edna a chance to shine! They're due, non? OK, I digress... back to Christine. She's starting to break a little - she got a bit weepy, but generally she's staying pretty tough and she's sitting in a pretty good spot. The longer you stay away, the less involved you are in the tribe politics. She's still just as bitter as always, though. My favourite was when Rick tried cheering for her and she gave him the finger. Yup. She's a classy broad.
The immunity challenge was great in that it was a come-from-behind victory for team Ozzy. They started off by not working well toegether (again, the mantra of this season is "Coconuts Are Heavy") but then came back to win thanks to the fabulous coconut slingshotting (is that a word?) of Keith and Jim. They also won because over on Team Coach, Mikayla was "uncoachable." She kept insisting on using only one arm to slingshot the coconuts, which didn't work. Our dear Coach would say to her wise things like "Use two hands!" and "How about you sit down and we let Albert do it?" Nope. Mikayla would have none of it. "I'm a lingerie football player," she thought to herself. "I know a lot about coconuts!" So.... team Ozzy won and got to go swimming at a "natural water slide" place that looked kind of fun, while team Coach had to go to Tribal Council.
So what does Baby Hantz do? He continues to be loco, that's what. First, he decides that he should channel his inner Russell and go find the immunity idol (which Coach already has, right?) Natch', he can't find it, but watching him march around all determined-like was pretty funny. Made Coach "see" Uncle Russell (cue flashback) and get the shivers.
Meanwhile, the team can't decide on Edna or Mikayla for voting out.
Edna's camp is Coach and Baby. Coach's reason is that well, he likes Edna, he trusts her, and he knows that she will do what he says. He goes on about taking her "into battle" and that had it been Edna in the challenge and he told her to sit down, she would have. This is a huge light bulb moment for our Dragon Slayer... and he's totally right. The other people are looking only at winning challenges (again... there's a puzzle coming up! You watch....) not loyalty. Edna is an easy vote. She's not playing hard yet, she's voting with the group. Why would you throw away an easy vote? Oh, and Brandon has now decided that he thinks Mikayla is OK, not the whore of Babylon after all, BUT he won't vote for Edna because he gave her his word. Uhhhh... right.
Sophie and Albert are voting for Edna. They want Mikayla around because she's in the original alliance and because she's strong. Their reasoning isn't crazy, they want to win challenges and go into the merge with the numbers. This is not a bad strategy. Also, they find Edna annoying.
So it comes down to Rick, our Bermuda shorts cowboy. Seriously, do you people watch Parks & Recreation. Please watch it and imagine Ron Swanson as a rancher. Maybe it's just the moustache, but Rick is Ron to me. So poor Rick is in the middle of it all, he knows it's going to come down to his vote and that he's going to piss someone off no matter what. What would Ron Swanson do? Well, first he'd have a scotch, then he'd vote for Mikayla. It's the non-coachability... he was persuaded by Coach that Edna will be good long-term. I think it was a good call. Edna's a perfect person to take to the end, right? She doesn't really win a lot, you can show that she rode coattails, and she's annoying. I predict she'll make it to the merge. I enjoyed Coach lecturing Baby Hantz at Tribal Council about the difference between lying and just not saying everything that comes into your head. Nope, says Baby, "There's only black and white, there's no grey." Really? Oh to be young and loco.
Speaking of competing, Christine is officially the new Matt. She's on a roll and beat Elyse in a shuffleboard competition. Yes, that does sound a bit like Seniors' Night at the Community Hall... but whatever. The Survivor people have to come up with challenges that fit in the Redemption Island "theatre". Speaking of challenges... where are all the puzzles? I want more puzzles. Give Cochran and Edna a chance to shine! They're due, non? OK, I digress... back to Christine. She's starting to break a little - she got a bit weepy, but generally she's staying pretty tough and she's sitting in a pretty good spot. The longer you stay away, the less involved you are in the tribe politics. She's still just as bitter as always, though. My favourite was when Rick tried cheering for her and she gave him the finger. Yup. She's a classy broad.
The immunity challenge was great in that it was a come-from-behind victory for team Ozzy. They started off by not working well toegether (again, the mantra of this season is "Coconuts Are Heavy") but then came back to win thanks to the fabulous coconut slingshotting (is that a word?) of Keith and Jim. They also won because over on Team Coach, Mikayla was "uncoachable." She kept insisting on using only one arm to slingshot the coconuts, which didn't work. Our dear Coach would say to her wise things like "Use two hands!" and "How about you sit down and we let Albert do it?" Nope. Mikayla would have none of it. "I'm a lingerie football player," she thought to herself. "I know a lot about coconuts!" So.... team Ozzy won and got to go swimming at a "natural water slide" place that looked kind of fun, while team Coach had to go to Tribal Council.
So what does Baby Hantz do? He continues to be loco, that's what. First, he decides that he should channel his inner Russell and go find the immunity idol (which Coach already has, right?) Natch', he can't find it, but watching him march around all determined-like was pretty funny. Made Coach "see" Uncle Russell (cue flashback) and get the shivers.
Meanwhile, the team can't decide on Edna or Mikayla for voting out.
Edna's camp is Coach and Baby. Coach's reason is that well, he likes Edna, he trusts her, and he knows that she will do what he says. He goes on about taking her "into battle" and that had it been Edna in the challenge and he told her to sit down, she would have. This is a huge light bulb moment for our Dragon Slayer... and he's totally right. The other people are looking only at winning challenges (again... there's a puzzle coming up! You watch....) not loyalty. Edna is an easy vote. She's not playing hard yet, she's voting with the group. Why would you throw away an easy vote? Oh, and Brandon has now decided that he thinks Mikayla is OK, not the whore of Babylon after all, BUT he won't vote for Edna because he gave her his word. Uhhhh... right.
Sophie and Albert are voting for Edna. They want Mikayla around because she's in the original alliance and because she's strong. Their reasoning isn't crazy, they want to win challenges and go into the merge with the numbers. This is not a bad strategy. Also, they find Edna annoying.
So it comes down to Rick, our Bermuda shorts cowboy. Seriously, do you people watch Parks & Recreation. Please watch it and imagine Ron Swanson as a rancher. Maybe it's just the moustache, but Rick is Ron to me. So poor Rick is in the middle of it all, he knows it's going to come down to his vote and that he's going to piss someone off no matter what. What would Ron Swanson do? Well, first he'd have a scotch, then he'd vote for Mikayla. It's the non-coachability... he was persuaded by Coach that Edna will be good long-term. I think it was a good call. Edna's a perfect person to take to the end, right? She doesn't really win a lot, you can show that she rode coattails, and she's annoying. I predict she'll make it to the merge. I enjoyed Coach lecturing Baby Hantz at Tribal Council about the difference between lying and just not saying everything that comes into your head. Nope, says Baby, "There's only black and white, there's no grey." Really? Oh to be young and loco.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
On Blindsides and The Other White Meat....
Grossest episode of Survivor ever! It's as good a place to start this blog as any... attacking the pig.
The immunity challenge was this: Each team gets a roast pig on a spit. Each person has their hands tied behind their backs and has to bite off a piece of pig and spit it out in a basket. At the end of the timed game, the team with the most pig in their basket (by weight) wins! Vegetarians everywhere recoil in horror. Pigs everywhere... well, you know how they felt. It was icky. The small blessing was that they removed the (some would say most tastiest) parts of the pig that are normally ON roast pigs on spits... the head, the feet... and just left a big roasted meat blob with sauce. So, naturally, everyone's faces were covered in sauce. (Aside: imagine that production meeting where they tested out this game with a regular roasted pig and some awesome intern yells out, "I know! This would be way better with BBQ sauce all over it!" That intern now has a three show development deal with CBS.) Right.... so the saucy-faced pig biting is one thing but let's give you the visual of the extra gross bits. For one, there was the part where people would get pig stuck in their teeth and a teammate would have to pick it out with their teeth. Then there was poor Mikayla picking up a piece of pig off the ground that Rick had dropped. (Another aside: can we discuss at some point how Rick A) reminds me of Ron Swanson from Parks & Recreation and B) looks super fantastic/weird in his cowboy attire from the waist up and Bermuda shorts from the waist down?) Where were we? Oh, yeah, the gross pig-eating. So, then there were the shots of people spitting the pig into the basket with tons of actual spit attached to the pig. And the piece de resistance would be the basket cam. (Thanks, likely, to the same above-mentioned intern.) Yes, at some point there was a basket camera shot where we could see people spitting their disgusting, spitty, sauce-covered pig meat into the basket as if we were at the bottom of said basket o' pork. Ew. (So, logistically, was there one glass-bottomed basket with a camera in it, and one regular basket that the team could take wtih them? These are the things I like to think about.) Coach's team won by 2 ounces (!!!) and won immunity, a reward of some spices & stuff, and the basket of pig meat. Say it with me... Ew. I mean, I suppose if you're hungry, you boil off the spit and eat the meat. Still, gross, right?
So fast forward to the losing team sitting around chatting about how they lost and how their lips and gums hurt and how Dawn lost part of a molar (!!!) and then Cochran chirps in with "and now we'll probably all have herpes"... totally grossing everyone out even further than they probably already were. Yup. And well, he has a point. I know they probably all sign off on these things before being on the show, but man... that would be an unwanted bonus, non? Though, would make a good t-shirt: "I was on Survivor and all I got was this cold sore." Right? Anyway, sometimes poor Cochran should really just shut it.
Are you suitably grossed out yet? Let's talk about non-gross stuff for a sec. Christine won the Redemption Island challenge (again!) sending Stacey home, but not before Stacey spewed out a bunch of stuff about how "Benjamin" is controlling everything with Albert and Sophie. Heh heh... they refused to call Coach "Coach" and called him Benjamin instead, which of course made Benjamin super mad when he heard about it. "Even my parents have called me Coach since I was 20," or something like that, says Coach. Which... is weird, right? Whatever... it was a funny way for Christine to keep digging away at the poor dragon slayer. I still love that she is his nemesis. And that she is the new Matt and keeps on winning.
The other thing about Stacey's rant is that when team Ozzy heard about it, Ozzy piped up with, "Coach should get rid of Albert right away." This made Jim nervous. Mind you, Jim is nervous all the time anyway, probably from ducking the Feds on lots of "medical" marijuana related inquiries. Thing is, it made Jim even more interested in getting rid of Elyse - Ozzy's right hand ummm... person. So Jim went off to sway Keith by saying that Jim and Keith - being the big dudes - would be a threat to Ozzy and would be voted out next. Keith bought in and went to discuss with Whitney.
Now, Ozzy has gotten truly annoying. As pointed out by Cochran, he lazes about most of the day with Elyse and pretty much has accepted his role as Jesus of the Jungle. He catches fish, yes. And he was sure to tell us about how much catching fish takes out of him, physically, to justify his long snoozes in the hammock. I can't say whether or not this is true, as I've never actually been spearfishing. If any of you dear readers has, please tell me about it. I don't doubt that it's tiring, but I also think Ozzy is ok with doing just enough work around camp (fishing) and not one little bit more. Also, I can't stand how patronizing Ozzy and Elyse are to Cochran. They talk to him like he's a child. Yeah, he's a goofy dude who doesn't know anything about the outdoors like Ozzy, but ummmm... he's a pretty smart guy and was right to point out that there will be lots of different kinds of challenges coming up (mind you, in next week's episode, it looks like Cochran has some trouble lifting a wheelbarrow full of coconuts. Apparently coconuts being heavy is a theme for this season.)
So.... Elyse ended up getting totally blindsided, which was awesome. I always love a good blindside. I love that it's going to make Ozzy into a big crybaby and I love that it knocked him down a peg. Will be interesting to see whether or not he pulls himself out of the funk that'll come with being betrayed. Remember, he's got the immunity idol, but remember that Keith knows about it. Fun, right? I love how Keith and Whitney figured they wouldn't vote for Elyse because it'll make Ozzy mad, but they thought it was OK to vote for someone else - Dawn - KNOWING that it'll end up in in Elyse getting the boot. Ummm... not sure how that's any different than just writing her name down. If you're Ozzy, the feeling at the end of the day is the same and if you're Keith and Whitney, you should know that Jim and Cochran are now the new bosses. For now.
Oh yeah, and Coach found the immunity idol too. His complete gleefulness when he found it and then got to eat spitty pig meat was pretty fun to watch. And something about telling the dragon to stay down... hee. Read into that what you will. He will need to be knocked down a peg too. And hopefully none of them get any pig-borne communicable diseases. Squeal!
The immunity challenge was this: Each team gets a roast pig on a spit. Each person has their hands tied behind their backs and has to bite off a piece of pig and spit it out in a basket. At the end of the timed game, the team with the most pig in their basket (by weight) wins! Vegetarians everywhere recoil in horror. Pigs everywhere... well, you know how they felt. It was icky. The small blessing was that they removed the (some would say most tastiest) parts of the pig that are normally ON roast pigs on spits... the head, the feet... and just left a big roasted meat blob with sauce. So, naturally, everyone's faces were covered in sauce. (Aside: imagine that production meeting where they tested out this game with a regular roasted pig and some awesome intern yells out, "I know! This would be way better with BBQ sauce all over it!" That intern now has a three show development deal with CBS.) Right.... so the saucy-faced pig biting is one thing but let's give you the visual of the extra gross bits. For one, there was the part where people would get pig stuck in their teeth and a teammate would have to pick it out with their teeth. Then there was poor Mikayla picking up a piece of pig off the ground that Rick had dropped. (Another aside: can we discuss at some point how Rick A) reminds me of Ron Swanson from Parks & Recreation and B) looks super fantastic/weird in his cowboy attire from the waist up and Bermuda shorts from the waist down?) Where were we? Oh, yeah, the gross pig-eating. So, then there were the shots of people spitting the pig into the basket with tons of actual spit attached to the pig. And the piece de resistance would be the basket cam. (Thanks, likely, to the same above-mentioned intern.) Yes, at some point there was a basket camera shot where we could see people spitting their disgusting, spitty, sauce-covered pig meat into the basket as if we were at the bottom of said basket o' pork. Ew. (So, logistically, was there one glass-bottomed basket with a camera in it, and one regular basket that the team could take wtih them? These are the things I like to think about.) Coach's team won by 2 ounces (!!!) and won immunity, a reward of some spices & stuff, and the basket of pig meat. Say it with me... Ew. I mean, I suppose if you're hungry, you boil off the spit and eat the meat. Still, gross, right?
So fast forward to the losing team sitting around chatting about how they lost and how their lips and gums hurt and how Dawn lost part of a molar (!!!) and then Cochran chirps in with "and now we'll probably all have herpes"... totally grossing everyone out even further than they probably already were. Yup. And well, he has a point. I know they probably all sign off on these things before being on the show, but man... that would be an unwanted bonus, non? Though, would make a good t-shirt: "I was on Survivor and all I got was this cold sore." Right? Anyway, sometimes poor Cochran should really just shut it.
Are you suitably grossed out yet? Let's talk about non-gross stuff for a sec. Christine won the Redemption Island challenge (again!) sending Stacey home, but not before Stacey spewed out a bunch of stuff about how "Benjamin" is controlling everything with Albert and Sophie. Heh heh... they refused to call Coach "Coach" and called him Benjamin instead, which of course made Benjamin super mad when he heard about it. "Even my parents have called me Coach since I was 20," or something like that, says Coach. Which... is weird, right? Whatever... it was a funny way for Christine to keep digging away at the poor dragon slayer. I still love that she is his nemesis. And that she is the new Matt and keeps on winning.
The other thing about Stacey's rant is that when team Ozzy heard about it, Ozzy piped up with, "Coach should get rid of Albert right away." This made Jim nervous. Mind you, Jim is nervous all the time anyway, probably from ducking the Feds on lots of "medical" marijuana related inquiries. Thing is, it made Jim even more interested in getting rid of Elyse - Ozzy's right hand ummm... person. So Jim went off to sway Keith by saying that Jim and Keith - being the big dudes - would be a threat to Ozzy and would be voted out next. Keith bought in and went to discuss with Whitney.
Now, Ozzy has gotten truly annoying. As pointed out by Cochran, he lazes about most of the day with Elyse and pretty much has accepted his role as Jesus of the Jungle. He catches fish, yes. And he was sure to tell us about how much catching fish takes out of him, physically, to justify his long snoozes in the hammock. I can't say whether or not this is true, as I've never actually been spearfishing. If any of you dear readers has, please tell me about it. I don't doubt that it's tiring, but I also think Ozzy is ok with doing just enough work around camp (fishing) and not one little bit more. Also, I can't stand how patronizing Ozzy and Elyse are to Cochran. They talk to him like he's a child. Yeah, he's a goofy dude who doesn't know anything about the outdoors like Ozzy, but ummmm... he's a pretty smart guy and was right to point out that there will be lots of different kinds of challenges coming up (mind you, in next week's episode, it looks like Cochran has some trouble lifting a wheelbarrow full of coconuts. Apparently coconuts being heavy is a theme for this season.)
So.... Elyse ended up getting totally blindsided, which was awesome. I always love a good blindside. I love that it's going to make Ozzy into a big crybaby and I love that it knocked him down a peg. Will be interesting to see whether or not he pulls himself out of the funk that'll come with being betrayed. Remember, he's got the immunity idol, but remember that Keith knows about it. Fun, right? I love how Keith and Whitney figured they wouldn't vote for Elyse because it'll make Ozzy mad, but they thought it was OK to vote for someone else - Dawn - KNOWING that it'll end up in in Elyse getting the boot. Ummm... not sure how that's any different than just writing her name down. If you're Ozzy, the feeling at the end of the day is the same and if you're Keith and Whitney, you should know that Jim and Cochran are now the new bosses. For now.
Oh yeah, and Coach found the immunity idol too. His complete gleefulness when he found it and then got to eat spitty pig meat was pretty fun to watch. And something about telling the dragon to stay down... hee. Read into that what you will. He will need to be knocked down a peg too. And hopefully none of them get any pig-borne communicable diseases. Squeal!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Things That are Suspicious: Scrambling Too Much, Not Scrambling at All, White Teeth
Here are some things we learned from last night's episode:
1) Christine is still scrappy. She is the kind of person the casting folks over at Survivor must love. She's got the attitude and will never give up. She will never be one of those girls who decides to quit the game because she's uncomfortable or homesick. She'll press on. She beat Papa Bear (ugh...) in a super close challenge that was fun to watch. I didn't know who to cheer for & I like it when that happens, right? I felt pretty sad for ol' PBear when he got sent home, but... for a guy who "always wanted to be on Survivor" he shoulda had more fight in him from the get-go.
2) Baby Hantz. OK, well we really didn't learn anything new about Baby that we didn't already know. He just kept on with the crazy. Started by apologizing to Christine, who was seriously surprised, though "wasn't sure if she buys it..." Then got all nutso when Stacey told him (sort of) that Albert, Mikayla and Sophie were their own little group. He runs right to Coach (of course) and tells him. Coach, bless him, lost it. "STOP IT!" yells our favourite women's soccer coach - slash - orchestra conductor. Coach tells him - correctly (again, when did Coach get to be the balanced one?) that he's got to stop believing everything he hears. Hee. Then, instead of putting his tail between his legs, our favourite baby nephew - slash - loco ex-con turns it around on Coach & asks him, "How many times have people screwed you on this show?" adding, "I tend to be a good judge of character." Uh-huh. Especially if that character plays football in her underpants.
ASIDE: There's been a lot in the media lately about this whole lingerie football business. About how it "empowers women" and how they're just as tough as men football players and blah blah blah. I don't buy it... You? What's next? Lingerie hockey? It's not empowering if you got to sell it with your panties. Just sayin'....
3) OK, back to the show. Right. Cochran makes a deal with Jim to try to vote off Elyse next, though doesn't entirely trust him because he has "suspiciously white teeth." Well said. Dentists everywhere say, "Whaaaaaaat?"
4) Ozzy is a serial reality TV dater. He can't help his jungly Jesus self. Remember how he dated Amanda when they were on TV together? Yup, he's at it again. This time it's Elyse. On her part, it's either a super smart move, or the worst move ever if the Toothy Jim/Cochran plan works out. We'll see.
5) DAWN! Dawn is pretty much my favourite player right now. I completely love that she started the game off as such a complete mess, but then totally turned it around. Got her head on straight, but is still a little bit on the outs in that she's not in the pretty people alliance. That said, Dawn's working her magic. She's holding her own with the youngsters (note: Dawn's only 40) and she's playing nice. I liked her not making a huge deal of the fact that she wasn't comfortable running around in her underpants 'cause she's Mormon (take note Baby Hantz... Dawn does not start off every other sentence with, "Because I'm a Mormon...") I liked that when the swimsuits did show up and all the girls ran out in their skimpy bikinis, Dawn was the first one in there with, "Oh, your swimsuit looks really cute on you." Girls eat that stuff up. Then, Dawn pulls a huge coup and wins the dang immunity challenge (and the chicken reward!) for her team. After the strong men are beaten, Dawn is up against Stacey holding a bar with about 140 lbs of sandbags on it. Stacey is "holding it up with her butt" says Jeff. Stacey drops and Dawn hangs on and the pure joy on her face when she wins is, well, joyous to watch. "I did it!" she says, almost crying, in a bit of disbelief as her whole team congratulates her with a huge hug. Sniff... I know you were happy for her too. Now, think about this - Dawn herself probably doesn't weigh much more than 140 lbs and they had been out there holding that thing (admittedly not 140 lbs the whole time) for over half an hour. Not easy. Then again, Dawn's had, like, 9 kids or something like that... so probably she's a bit tougher than we think. Rather, tougher than we USED to think. Dawn rocks.
6) Stacey did not lose well. Here's the thing... when you lose a challenge for your team, you've still got to play the social game. You've got to kind of be humble and say, hey dudes, I'm really sorry I lost, I feel pretty bad about it. This was not Stacey's tactic. No one will debate that Stacey did, in fact, do a great job. She hung in there a long time holding that weight on her arse. More than most people probably. But, she lost. But then she pretty much told them all to talk to the hand. "I did great." Ummmm, yeah, but you still lost. Suck up a bit. Then there's the fact on top of that that Stacey's.... well... a little crusty around the edges. She's not super nice. She made friends with Christine and then when Christine got the boot, she really hasn't (as far as we see, anyway) tried to chum up with anyone. Bad idea. She even said it herself, that if she's got to lie, she'll lie (I think it was "I gotta lie to kick it." Whatever.) and that she's got to "git in to fit in"... Then git!
7) Edna is pretty much the opposite of Stacey. Edna is in sort of the same position in that she knows she's not a top-tier group member. (I enjoy how Sophie actually calls their alliance "Five Plus Edna"....) Edna, though is working hard at her social game to make up for it. Thing is, she's working SO hard at it that she's annoying the hell out of people with the asking and the talking and the laughing and the walking on Coach's back (what?) Really. As Stacey herself put it, "Edna is scrambling like eggs in a hot skillet." True, but it's at least a strategy, annoying as it may be. IF, by some crazy reason Edna makes it to the end... you know what? She's got this in her back pocket. She can say, yeah, I wasn't the most physical player, but I was the one who was nice to Coach on day one, and I was the one who got to know something about each one of you. I know how Rick likes to shoot buffalo and how Mikayla got her modelling contracts and the real reason Brendan is loco. Right? We've heard it before where a jury member goes up and says, yeah, you're there but what do you know about me? (Insert argument here about why that doesn't really matter... but it sorta does.)
8) Baby Hantz should really go home... 'cause he's a but nuts and 'cause he's the proverbial "loose cannon". At Tribal Council, my boyfriend Jeff asked exactly the right question..."What's upsetting you right now?" So Baby started crying and going on about how he wants to restore the Hantz name, blah blah, blah. And how he "wants to be someone God's proud of." And it's hard to really tell how to take it. On one hand, dude is obviously sincere. On the other, if I'm Uncle Russell, I'm thinking, "I don't need your sorry loco Christian ass restoring my family name... I'm Russell Freaking Hantz." So, Russell was a "villain" on Survivor... Big whoop. He's not Hitler. Ease up.
9) At the end of the day, annoying, bony niceness beat out crusty, strong crabbiness. Stacey got the boot. If there's another thing we learned, it's that Stacey did not want a hug. I just about blew my drink out my nose when I was watching and Coach says, "Let's all give her a hug," as she gets up to go. The rest of them (can you imagine Rick biting his tongue here?) reluctantly get up and try to hug Stacey, who was having none of it. And Coach tried... hard. Heh. I'm thinking, I've watched Stacey on TV for a grand total of 3 hours and I KNOW that she's A) not exactly the huggy type and B) not going to be interested in hugging people who just voted her out of the game. How does Coach not get this? And yay Stacey for calling them out on it. "It's not real," she told Jeff. SOOOOO true. It's not. It's like when people vote people out and then go "love yooooooou"..... uh, no you don't. You don't love them. You don't really like them. You want them gone so you can get a million bucks. You hug them so you can feel better about voting them out, not to make them feel any better. Jerks. Anyway, I suddenly became a Stacey fan and again am not sure now who to cheer for between her and Christine. Either way, there'll be a crusty, scrappy woman fighting it out at Redemption Island for a couple more episodes and you know either one would love to come back to the game and stir up trouble. For Coach.
1) Christine is still scrappy. She is the kind of person the casting folks over at Survivor must love. She's got the attitude and will never give up. She will never be one of those girls who decides to quit the game because she's uncomfortable or homesick. She'll press on. She beat Papa Bear (ugh...) in a super close challenge that was fun to watch. I didn't know who to cheer for & I like it when that happens, right? I felt pretty sad for ol' PBear when he got sent home, but... for a guy who "always wanted to be on Survivor" he shoulda had more fight in him from the get-go.
2) Baby Hantz. OK, well we really didn't learn anything new about Baby that we didn't already know. He just kept on with the crazy. Started by apologizing to Christine, who was seriously surprised, though "wasn't sure if she buys it..." Then got all nutso when Stacey told him (sort of) that Albert, Mikayla and Sophie were their own little group. He runs right to Coach (of course) and tells him. Coach, bless him, lost it. "STOP IT!" yells our favourite women's soccer coach - slash - orchestra conductor. Coach tells him - correctly (again, when did Coach get to be the balanced one?) that he's got to stop believing everything he hears. Hee. Then, instead of putting his tail between his legs, our favourite baby nephew - slash - loco ex-con turns it around on Coach & asks him, "How many times have people screwed you on this show?" adding, "I tend to be a good judge of character." Uh-huh. Especially if that character plays football in her underpants.
ASIDE: There's been a lot in the media lately about this whole lingerie football business. About how it "empowers women" and how they're just as tough as men football players and blah blah blah. I don't buy it... You? What's next? Lingerie hockey? It's not empowering if you got to sell it with your panties. Just sayin'....
3) OK, back to the show. Right. Cochran makes a deal with Jim to try to vote off Elyse next, though doesn't entirely trust him because he has "suspiciously white teeth." Well said. Dentists everywhere say, "Whaaaaaaat?"
4) Ozzy is a serial reality TV dater. He can't help his jungly Jesus self. Remember how he dated Amanda when they were on TV together? Yup, he's at it again. This time it's Elyse. On her part, it's either a super smart move, or the worst move ever if the Toothy Jim/Cochran plan works out. We'll see.
5) DAWN! Dawn is pretty much my favourite player right now. I completely love that she started the game off as such a complete mess, but then totally turned it around. Got her head on straight, but is still a little bit on the outs in that she's not in the pretty people alliance. That said, Dawn's working her magic. She's holding her own with the youngsters (note: Dawn's only 40) and she's playing nice. I liked her not making a huge deal of the fact that she wasn't comfortable running around in her underpants 'cause she's Mormon (take note Baby Hantz... Dawn does not start off every other sentence with, "Because I'm a Mormon...") I liked that when the swimsuits did show up and all the girls ran out in their skimpy bikinis, Dawn was the first one in there with, "Oh, your swimsuit looks really cute on you." Girls eat that stuff up. Then, Dawn pulls a huge coup and wins the dang immunity challenge (and the chicken reward!) for her team. After the strong men are beaten, Dawn is up against Stacey holding a bar with about 140 lbs of sandbags on it. Stacey is "holding it up with her butt" says Jeff. Stacey drops and Dawn hangs on and the pure joy on her face when she wins is, well, joyous to watch. "I did it!" she says, almost crying, in a bit of disbelief as her whole team congratulates her with a huge hug. Sniff... I know you were happy for her too. Now, think about this - Dawn herself probably doesn't weigh much more than 140 lbs and they had been out there holding that thing (admittedly not 140 lbs the whole time) for over half an hour. Not easy. Then again, Dawn's had, like, 9 kids or something like that... so probably she's a bit tougher than we think. Rather, tougher than we USED to think. Dawn rocks.
6) Stacey did not lose well. Here's the thing... when you lose a challenge for your team, you've still got to play the social game. You've got to kind of be humble and say, hey dudes, I'm really sorry I lost, I feel pretty bad about it. This was not Stacey's tactic. No one will debate that Stacey did, in fact, do a great job. She hung in there a long time holding that weight on her arse. More than most people probably. But, she lost. But then she pretty much told them all to talk to the hand. "I did great." Ummmm, yeah, but you still lost. Suck up a bit. Then there's the fact on top of that that Stacey's.... well... a little crusty around the edges. She's not super nice. She made friends with Christine and then when Christine got the boot, she really hasn't (as far as we see, anyway) tried to chum up with anyone. Bad idea. She even said it herself, that if she's got to lie, she'll lie (I think it was "I gotta lie to kick it." Whatever.) and that she's got to "git in to fit in"... Then git!
7) Edna is pretty much the opposite of Stacey. Edna is in sort of the same position in that she knows she's not a top-tier group member. (I enjoy how Sophie actually calls their alliance "Five Plus Edna"....) Edna, though is working hard at her social game to make up for it. Thing is, she's working SO hard at it that she's annoying the hell out of people with the asking and the talking and the laughing and the walking on Coach's back (what?) Really. As Stacey herself put it, "Edna is scrambling like eggs in a hot skillet." True, but it's at least a strategy, annoying as it may be. IF, by some crazy reason Edna makes it to the end... you know what? She's got this in her back pocket. She can say, yeah, I wasn't the most physical player, but I was the one who was nice to Coach on day one, and I was the one who got to know something about each one of you. I know how Rick likes to shoot buffalo and how Mikayla got her modelling contracts and the real reason Brendan is loco. Right? We've heard it before where a jury member goes up and says, yeah, you're there but what do you know about me? (Insert argument here about why that doesn't really matter... but it sorta does.)
8) Baby Hantz should really go home... 'cause he's a but nuts and 'cause he's the proverbial "loose cannon". At Tribal Council, my boyfriend Jeff asked exactly the right question..."What's upsetting you right now?" So Baby started crying and going on about how he wants to restore the Hantz name, blah blah, blah. And how he "wants to be someone God's proud of." And it's hard to really tell how to take it. On one hand, dude is obviously sincere. On the other, if I'm Uncle Russell, I'm thinking, "I don't need your sorry loco Christian ass restoring my family name... I'm Russell Freaking Hantz." So, Russell was a "villain" on Survivor... Big whoop. He's not Hitler. Ease up.
9) At the end of the day, annoying, bony niceness beat out crusty, strong crabbiness. Stacey got the boot. If there's another thing we learned, it's that Stacey did not want a hug. I just about blew my drink out my nose when I was watching and Coach says, "Let's all give her a hug," as she gets up to go. The rest of them (can you imagine Rick biting his tongue here?) reluctantly get up and try to hug Stacey, who was having none of it. And Coach tried... hard. Heh. I'm thinking, I've watched Stacey on TV for a grand total of 3 hours and I KNOW that she's A) not exactly the huggy type and B) not going to be interested in hugging people who just voted her out of the game. How does Coach not get this? And yay Stacey for calling them out on it. "It's not real," she told Jeff. SOOOOO true. It's not. It's like when people vote people out and then go "love yooooooou"..... uh, no you don't. You don't love them. You don't really like them. You want them gone so you can get a million bucks. You hug them so you can feel better about voting them out, not to make them feel any better. Jerks. Anyway, I suddenly became a Stacey fan and again am not sure now who to cheer for between her and Christine. Either way, there'll be a crusty, scrappy woman fighting it out at Redemption Island for a couple more episodes and you know either one would love to come back to the game and stir up trouble. For Coach.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)