The Wrap-up: Now Sad-Piano Free!

So I can't even be all triumphant that I called it a while ago, because we all knew Kim was going to win, right?  No wizardry involved.  She was playing hard and didn't really have any competition.  Honestly, in the whole season - maybe Colton & Troyzan were her biggest threats....  She put herself in a leadership role without being overbearing and somehow making everyone like her in the process.  Even the people she voted out were all, "Oh, Kim played an excellent game.  I love Kim."  Well, more or less. 

Could have been either Kim-Alicia-Christina or Kim-Chelsea-Sabrina in the final three.  The first choice would be a no-brainer, but also Kim would lose respect of her closest allies and the jury members who knew that she was true to her all-girl alliance 'til the end.  By bringing her two BFFs to the end, she gains respect by saying, look, I did what I had to do to keep my alliance solid, I was closest to these two girls and here we are at the end.  I had to vote some of you out, but in the end I'm loyal and you like me.  (Insert blue-eye batting....) 

So let's back up for a sec.  Out of the final 5, Alicia got voted out first. The funny thing is that to Alicia, everything is about how great she is.  So getting voted out - you'd think she'd be mad but instead she just went on about how great a player she was to get to the final five and how she was such a huge threat and blah, blah, blah.  No idea that she was there partly because she provided Kim an option to go to the end with two unlikable people.  Even her "question" on the jury was really more of a statement about how fantastic she was and how she was the "kingpin" and how great those girls must be if they can outsmart her.  Uh-huh.  Delusional.  Fully.  On the other hand, I softened a little towards Alicia (a LITTLE... not much) near the end when she really did seem to be genuinely supportive of her gal pals getting to the end.  Every time she got beat in a challenge, she'd be the first one there giving the person a hug.  And then at the reunion show, she seemed truly moved about what a bag she was on the show, and was horrified by the comment she made when she likened Christina to one of her special needs kids.  Yikes. I think maybe people forget they're on TV?  Maybe?  At any rate, I took her apology as sincere and while I don't think she & Christina will be buds or that she'll be getting any bathing suit modelling jobs any time soon, she's probably not as horrendous in real life... if you know her.  Maybe.  Colton, on the other hand.... we'll get to him in a minute.

So then there were 4.  Kim basically told Christina that she'd be next and everyone was so shocked when Christina didn't fight for her place in the top three.  REALLY?  'Cause Christina has fought for so much up until now?  'Cause she knew she deserved to be there?  Anyone?  Everyone - Christina included - knew that if she were to go to final 3, it would be as that person who'd get no votes.  So she gracefully bowed out.  I don't think it's that bad, really. It's in keeping with how she played the game - and I'm not trying to be mean - she's had enough of that.  But I really kept hoping she'd try harder, kept hoping she'd pull it together in a challenge, kept hoping she'd have some sort of strategy.... buuuuuuuut no.  Each time, she let me down. So, I thought she did the right thing and enjoyed her last day without the drama and let it go. 

And that gave us actually a really interesting final three.  The most interesting one in a long time, and way more interesting than it would have been with those other girls.  Kim, Chelsea and Sabrina all played a pretty good game and they all are well spoken.  They each gave the jury a fantastic final statement.  Sabrina basically said she held back a bit and took an observational role, tried to get to know people and not piss anyone off but that she let Kim take the lead. Chelsea apologized if she seemed like a bitch and said she had to do it because she found it so hard to separate the emotions & the strategy.  And she gave Kim a lot of credit too. Then Kim basically looked everyone in the eye, stayed calm and told people that you know what? I liked all of you and I felt bad about having to vote you off, but I thought about my family and what the money would mean to them - how much they've supported me - and that I've only known you people for 20 or 30 days.  Finally - this to me is the best speech ever.  It takes the emotion out of it - no one can say to her, "but you backstabbed me!"  She can just say, "yes I did. I had to. It's what got me here."  Done.

And as Jeff said, it was a very respect-filled jury. One of the most 'adult' juries ever.  Definitely a little bit of whining...who was it... was it Leif who asked Chelsea why she hates people?  Hee hee.... The people I thought would be the most bitter, Troyzan, Kat & Alicia were all pretty nice. They all congratulated the gals on being there.  Kat ended up telling a 'secret' about having had open heart surgery in the past and having to have it again and therefore not wanting to be mad or bitter but to be happy and stay friends.  Wow. Apparently she grew up a lot in like, a week!  She said something about wanting to vote against Kim but that then she'd have learned nothing during her time there. She even addressed the jury and asked them to vote with their hearts for the one who played the best game & not vote out of spite or bitterness!  Wow.

Not much else to say about the jury except that Tarzan was his usual amazing self.  He just thanked the girls for keeping him around long enough that his wife could step foot on the island and be with him for that reward challenge.... (Cue amazingly bad, heavy-handed sad-drama piano music here. Come ON, Mark Burnett... ugh.) Not a dry eye in the house, we don't need your piano. 

And Tarzan used some lovely big words that were real, while there were some delightful made-up words going around.  My favourite was Mike's.... "In all fairity..."  I'm going to start using that one. 

The reunion show offered a few glimpses into fun Survivor stuff.  Christina still seems super weird saying, no, all the bullying didn't bother her because she's a salesperson and gets told no or hung up on all the time so whatever.  Did you buy that?  I'm not sure I did.  They didn't even talk to Nina or Courtney.  Kim won the 'player of the season' award vs. Troyzan who really, really needs to cut his hair.  Jay looked hot with his hair cut.  And then there was Colton.  A lot of time spent analyzing Colton. 

So Colton was asked what he thought of seeing himself on the show. Colton basically said, that yeah, he wasn't super proud of some of the things he said and that he's not a racist, but that everyone said the show got boring when he left.  Then Jeff talks to his mom, who said that he wasn't raised that way and they were all very supportive of him coming out but that he hasn't necessarily been treated as well by everyone in the family. Then - in the weirdest move ever - they talk to that girl who was Blossom and now apparently is on Big Bang Theory, who says that she liked Colton & thought there was "more to him" and that she'd love to see him play again.  Then some other random dude who again backed up Colton.  Meanwhile, you can totally tell that Colton has no friends out of the rest of the cast.  Everyone is pretty much disgusted with Colton.  He & Bill are still not friends.  He tries to give a flimsy, "I love these guys!" which sounds SO fake.  Leif lets it be known that he's saddened and disgusted by Colton's comment where he called Leif a "munchkin who should go back to Oz."  And again, was it Leif (why can I never remember what that guys says?) who said that it's one thing to say something in the heat of the game to someone, and yet an entirely different thing to say something just on camera behind everyone's back.  And oh yeah, if you have to tell people you're not a racist.... you're probably a racist.  No one with those bad ideas actually considers themselves racist, do they? They come out with stuff like, I'm not a racist - I just don't like Muslim people. Or I'm not a racist - I just think black comedians should get a real job and not be poor.  What?  I'm sure there's a lot going on with Colton, but he for sure needs a little soul searching, non?

The sad thing is that Colton will be back.  Next season's Survivor (#25!) will be in Philippines and will feature three former Survivors who were all med-evaced out of their respective seasons.  So, sadly, I'm thinking Colton being 'good tv' will win out over Colton actually deserving to go back and play.  They haven't said yet who's going, but I'm willing to put my blog on the line that he'll be one of the three.  Rewarded for bad behaviour.  Boo.  I think that guy...was his name Mike? who burned his hands way way back in season 2... I think he'll be back.  Maybe Jonathan Penner (Jeff loves him.  He calls him Penner.But, he already has played twice.) Kourtney is the only girl to ever be medevaced (!!) so she could have a chance to be back.  Or maybe that dude... wasn't his name also Russell... who blacked out when he was in a challenge?  Remember that guy?  Hmmm... Send me your guesses? 

Anyway, I'm not sure about that for a twist. Granted, it's been 25 seasons and it's gotta be tough to come up with new ideas.  "One World" was a good idea that just didn't entirely pan out.  It did start off well and I think it ended well, but was a little lacklustre in the middle.  I think that's the cast we were stuck with, though. Generally, I don't know if I'm a big fan of letting past survivors come back and play, but if they're going to do that, I guess I do like the idea of these guys getting a second chance.  It wasn't their fault they had to leave - they didn't get voted out, they didn't lose, but they didn't get a chance to really play. OK, fair enough.  But I think if Colton comes back, he'd better be a changed human.  Maybe he'll expand his world view a little and try to be nicer.  Unfortunately, I don't see it happening, but maybe I'll be proved wrong. At least Blossom will be happy. 

Thanks for reading and do send me your comments!  Will be back next season with more blog!  In the meantime, I'm going to catch up on this season's Ponderosa episodes on youtube to keep me going. 

Done In By Microbes & Panties

OK, so first off, can I vent about whose stupid idea it was to have the Survivor finale on Mother's Day?  Uh, that was rude!  How am I supposed to give my mother and/or mother-in-law all my attention when clearly I need to watch 2 hours of Survivor, plus the 1 hour reunion show!  Come ON, CBS!!  In addition, the series finale of Desperate Housewives is on the same night!  Really? 

Deep breaths... now.  As to last night's Survivor episode.  What did you think?  If I'm them, I'd have done the same thing and voted off Tarzan.  I really think there are enough dudes on the jury who'd give it to him if he made it to the final 3 just because he's another dude.  Possible.  Then there's the fact that Tarzan went up & told Kim that if he gets voted out, he'll do his best to convince the other jury members to vote for her.  Ummm.... why the hell wouldn't I vote off Tarzan if I'm Kim? 

Then there's the fact that Tarzan is just kind of annoying.  He admits it.  He can be a grumpy old man.  And then he throws out stuff like when he said, "You bitch!" to Chelsea, when she won the reward challenge.  I mean, it's one thing if a girl says it.  It's fine.  It's fine if Colton were to say it.  It's fine if Tarzan is your BFF and he says it.  It's a little less fine when Tarzan is just a grumpy old man you're stuck living with, he's already commented on your boob job, and now he's calling you a bitch.  Every girl there was like, WTF, Tarzan?  What did you just say?  Well, he covered as well as he could and thankfully no one felt like jumping on him for it.  He didn't mean it in THAT way.... it was meant in fun.  Or was it?  Hmmm....

Then there was the part where Tarzan was making some kind of coconut delicacy - presumably to share - and declared that he was going to make it how he wanted and don't bother him.  The girls pushed him on it, because it seemed his plan was to rinse the coconut using one of the buffs that everyone has worn and are super gross.  Again, Tarzan with the microbes and how he (as a plastic surgeon) knows way more about microbes than you or I.  Fair.  He probably does.  Does that mean that I want my supper drained through someone else's sweaty, gross, dirty, dusty, disgusting piece of clothing?  Nope. 

And apparently after Kat got the boot, Tarzan went through her stuff.  She was kind of dumb not to take it with her, mind you.... but still.  Girls don't like it when you go through their stuff.  I'm not sure anyone likes it, frankly.  But he showed up to Tribal Council wearing her pink tank top and if that's not bad enough, it comes out that he was wearing a pair of her panties on his head.  So, A) how did this gem not make it onto the show??? Did we see him with the panties on his head?  (I may have missed this due to one crazy big black dog in my house...) and B) again with the microbes when he was confronted about it.  Like that's all the girls are worried about - the microbes.  It couldn't possibly be that no girl would want some gross, grumpy old dude in a dirty, potentially-poo-covered blue banana hammock wearing their panties on his head.  Nope, couldn't be that.  Must be the microbes. 

So he was good TV, but he's gone and I can't blame them for voting him out.  Oh, and he recited a poem as his parting words... You've got to love that.  See?  That's a first.  Good TV.  Poor millionaire doctor won't be able to get those much-needed shocks for his car now.  Sad. 

Now we're left with 5 girls... 4 were in an original alliance: Kim, Chelsea, Sabrina & Alicia plus Christina as the fifth.  The obvious winner here is Kim.  She's still got the immunity idol so will be in the top 4 no matter what.  She's beatable in challenges as Alicia (!!!) proved in the immunity challenge last night. But.... she's not easily beatable.  So the question becomes this:  Does Kim take her BFFs Chelsea & Sabrina to the final 3 or does she take 2 people she could actually win against - Alicia & Christina?  If she's smart - and I think she is - she does the latter. 

We also need to mention how Chelsea - when she won the reward - said she was going to be fair and pick people who deserved to go with her on the yacht. So, she's going to pick Tarzan & Christina, right? Wrong. Picked Sabrina & Kim. Sigh. Even Alicia was rooting for Christina to go....


I find it endlessly fascinating how these relationships change over time and how much we probably don't know.  Look at Christina & Alicia.  Remember how much Alicia hated Christina at the beginning and how mean she was?  Now, she's sort of been in an alliance with Christina because they were the only ones left from the Manono tribe. So Alicia gets these moments of clarity when she realizes that people like Chelsea need to go because she's so tight with Kim.  She figures maybe Kim is playing both sides.  Then Kim talks to her and Kim holds this power over her like Kim is the coolest girl in school and she's invited Alicia the self-described "ghetto Puerto Rican" into her inner circle.  This is why Kim will win.  She has this ability to - as Tarzan put it - bat her big blue eyes at you and you believe her.  Even Sabrina can see it - she at one point said how amazing Kim was at "almost looking through you" and saying what you need to hear.  Kim herself said out loud to Chelsea & Sabrina that sometimes she doesn't even know when she's lying.  She's good.  (Aside: somehow her moustache seems to be gone now too?  Conspiracy?  Speaking of which, Kat looked HOT on the jury, non?  Don't you love seeing everyone dolled up? Then there's the part where Tarzan says bye to everyone and gets the bird flipped at him by Mike. Yowch!) 

So, it's friends and you look like an awesome person who keeps their word to their pals.... or jerks you can win against and you look like a smart player.  She really can't lose at this point.  She could only lose immunity at final four a la Ozzy and get voted out by the other 3 who know they can't win against her.  That's the only possible scenario.  Otherwise, let's catch up on Monday when Kim gets her cheque for a million bucks.  Next week, we'll talk about the season a bit more.  I will always love the show, but somehow they managed to take a super interesting premise and turn it into predictable and lacklustre in a lot of ways. Or is it the cast of characters?  Thoughts? 

I'm Gonna Get Drunk! Wait... Squirrel!

Sorry for the late blog again.  Life has been hectic. I even missed the first bit of Survivor this week, but I think I'm pretty much caught up.  It was the family episode - yay! 

So Alicia goes to get the tree mail and then comments, "As soon as I saw Sprint in the box, I knew already what it was going to be."  Brilliant.  What the hell else would it be?  Then they get to see a little video of their loved ones.  Tarzan's wife of 30 years and Christina's dad, who has had a kidney transplant and only has 5 years to live.  Wow!  Also, we find out that Alicia's sister's name is Leticia.  Really? 

Then there's Sprint Sprint Blah Blah Blah Sprint Sprint Sprint. 

Tears, tears tears. And that's just from me.  Family is there.  I love it. I'm a sucker for this stuff.  Why is Kat so close to her cousin?  We work together, we live together, we breathe together.  OK.  And look how much they all love Tarzan.  Right?  We just see the crazy Tarzan. 

Kat wins the challenge with her cousin.  Loses her mind.  "I won one!"  Chooses Kim - even though, as Jeff likes to point out, Kim did NOT choose Kat last time.  And she chooses Alicia.  The look on everyone's faces... I mean everyone.... even Kim and Alicia says no one is impressed that Kat didn't choose at least one of Christina or Tarzan.  Kat:  "I have explanations!  I've been wanting to hang out with these girls forever and come on, margaritas!  I want to get drunk!"  Oh....  Then she says, "Maybe I shouldn't have picked these girls strategically, but what are you going to do?  Dwell on it?  No. I'm going to eat my cake, get drunk and go back and deal with them later."  Everyone sigh with me.  Kat is 22 and acts like she's 16.  The constant dancing is endearing, but the selfishness, not so much.  And as someone pointed out at the end (Chelsea, I think?), 22 is not THAT young.  But Kat uses it as an excuse for her dumbness.

This is why Kat gets voted off.  Had she picked one of the others, I think Sabrina may have gone home instead, non?  I also think Sabrina threw the immunity challenge so as to not look that strong to Kim.  Sabrina knows she's seen as a strong competitor.  Thoughts?  Anyone agree?  The immunity challenge was one of those endurance ones and I'm pretty sure Sabrina could have held on longer than Tarzan.  I am constantly amazed that Christina doesn't push a bit harder to win all things considered.  I really want to pull for Christina, as I've mentioned a bunch, but she isn't helping. 

I did love Kim saying to her sister that she'd like to take Kat & Alicia to the final 3 because Alicia's not well liked, but she's delusional about that and that Kat would be the one to have a "million dollars ruined my life" show because she'd spend it and not know where it went within a year.  Hee.  Obviously, she was forced to change her mind.  Thing is, no one could fault Kim for voting out Kat after such bad behaviour.  (Well, except Kat maybe).  But voting off Sabrina would be a tougher sell to the jury. 

So, I've also been thinking that with Tarzan being well liked, why the heck isn't he getting voted off sooner?  You'd think all those boys on the jury would give him the money, non?  I suppose Kim just figures she's got an easy vote and someone she can beat in challenges.  True story, I suppose.  Is there any way that Kim isn't getting the money?  I mean, I thought that Ozzy would get the money in that season too, and he did not.  But Kim would have to do something monumentally stupid at this point not to win.  Sabrina might be the only one of the girls who could beat her, and if she doesn't win immunity next time, she'll probably get voted out. 

Kat did not leave well at Tribal Council.  When she got voted out, she started bawling immediately.  Then, in her exit interview, she practically wailed, "I can't believe Christina is still there and I'm not."  Something like that.  Waaaaaaaaaaah.  It's OK, don't feel bad.  She's sort of like a golden retriever.  She'll be dancing again the minute she's distracted by a squirrel.

Finally, on a lighter note.... Alicia's armpits are out of control and is Kim growing a moustache?  Was it the lighting or does that girl need a shave?  Thinking Sprint needs to make way for Gilette... or maybe Nair.....