Things You Don't Often See: People Who Are Always Nice, Volcanic Littering, Samurai Warriors, Bigfoot, and "The Crispy"

OK, so Phillip is channelling Coach more & more all the time.  Dude is brilliant.  Makes my life.

But first, another guy who makes my life - Matt. God on his side, our righteous, pony-tailed crusader beat the evil Green-Pumps Stephanie in a memory game challenge.  I seriously think this guy has a chance to win the whole thing.  Outwit, outlast, outplay.... He has outplayed/outlasted so far, so time will tell if he's able to also outwit players like Pensacola Rob.  Did you feel a little sorry for Steph when she got sent home?  I did not.  I believe it's possible that some people confuse "fiery" and "spunky" with "being a jerk."  Discuss.  I did love the shots of her talking NON-STOP to poor Matt about food.  "I like peanut butter and peanut butter shakes and chocolate with peanut butter and yeah, I really have been craving just the taste of peanut butter, you know?  And, and, and....."  Seriously.  If we could draw the thought bubble above Matt's head, it would have read something like, "Oh, Lord, why have you sent me this test? Thou shalt not kill. Love thy mouthy neighbour."  Something like that.  He's got my vote for being able to endure her and not tell her to shut up.

Speaking of enduring weirdos.... Oh Phillip.  Phillip.  He's the best TV you've seen in a long time, admit it.  Not since Coach - and I mean first season Coach, not Heroes vs. Villains Coach.  As my boyfriend Jeff writes in his blog, all Phillip wants is a little respect.  Someone to listen to him and make  him feel important.  And he's not getting it.  At all.  First off, he's mad at Rob & Grant (team "Stealth R Us") for keeping that clue from him last time.  Then yesterday it all hit the fan over the "crispy".  What, you ask, is the crispy?  Apparently it's the browned/burned, crispy rice bits.  Everybody likes the crispy rice, which I believe.  It is really, really good if you've ever had it.... I guess it's Rob's favourite thing, so the girls happily set some aside for Rob. As the King/Leader/Grand Poobah of the tribe, that's what Rob gets.  Not so for Phillip.  So, what does he do?  He makes a big fuss.  Delightful how he calls it just "crispy" not "crispy rice"....  As in, "I want my fair share of the crispy!"  Knowing Rob, he probably doesn't even really like it that much, but just wants to keep it from Phillip to keep him on edge.  Phillip goes on to tell us again how he is treated like "the red-headed step child"  and something about some ancient Samurai culture where he would have been respected just for being older or some damn thing.... and then something weird about all the girls and how they take turns sleeping in Rob's underwear?  What the....?  Ew.  Later, when he & Rob go watch the duel, he tells Matt that he thinks Matt is like a Samurai warrior.  Matt:  "Uh, thanks?"  Then, Phillip of course wants to keep some of the info secret that Stephanie spewed out (nothing really that interesting) but Rob will have none of  it.  On the way there Rob tells us that he's only there because Phillip "is a loose cannon & needs to be babysat."  Brilliantly, Rob uses this to make sure his group stays against Phillip. Waits til Phillip is away (uh, falling out of a tree), then tells the others how he wanted to keep the info from them.  Also makes sure to tell his tribe that the other guys are gunning for him, making them feel safer.  Geez. That's what you get for playing 4 times.  

Now, the trouble starts next episode, as we'll have the MERGE!  Team Rob has the numbers, but seriously, there's no way that Phillip's not flipping.  Team Steel Wool so far doesn't know the extent of Phillip's crazy, and they could force Rob to play his idol.... which could be the greatest because no one as yet knows he has it.  Could end up being an awesome blindside.  (Or as Rob says, "When the time comes, I'm just telling Phillip he's going home.  I won't blindside him, I'll FRONTSIDE him!") 

I know I'm going on an awful lot about Rob & Phillip, but it really was their show last night.  The other bit of awesomeness came when their tribe won immunity & reward & got to take a helicopter trip to a pretty cool active volcano.  There were a bunch of jars of cookies & sweets to go with their picnic & Rob spots the cylindrical cookies that should have an immunity idol clue hidden with them.  Naturally, there is one & he pulls it out & puts it in his pocket without even FORMER SECRET AGENT and SAMURAI WARRIOR Phillip noticing.  Then, talking to the camera he says, "I don't even care what's on this.  I have the idol so it doesn't matter."  And with that, chucks the still-rolled-up clue into the volcano!!!!  HA!  Seriously, how can you not love Rob?  Even my BF Jeff calls him his man-crush.  Love.

OK, so yeah, the other team.  Well.  They lost the challenge, as astute readers will have already figured out.  It was close, but again, Grant is the shizz.  Seriously.  You can't beat Grant.  (Oh, that's a good one!)  A good challenge too, as always.  (I read that the brick walls they had to bust through took 6 hrs to put up by hand....sheesh!)  So, it looked like David was the obvious choice to go, having voted with Stephanie last time.  However, everyone knew that Sarita was the weak link in all the challenges.  So it was about keeping someone you trust vs. someone who's good at puzzles (all this "good at puzzles" stuff.... I think he's only actually done one that I recall, but apparently he's puzzle boy.  Then again, they can't exactly have Ralph doing puzzles, can they?)

As an aside, can we talk about Ralph for a sec and how hairy he really is?  I mean.... wow.  That guy has some serious fur.  There was a scene where he was walking through the jungle with someone & all I could think of was that famous footage of "bigfoot"

Now consider Ralph:

Right?

OK, back to the story.  Surprisingly, the team picked David and turfed Sarita.  (Or Sirita, if you're Bigfoot.) Now, at first I was thinking it was dumb not to keep someone loyal, and maybe that'll still prove true later on down the road.  But I'm also thinking that they know they have to send someone who will NOT win against Matt.  Sarita hasn't proven that she has many skills, so is a likely choice to be voted out and stay out. Where David could (being Puzzle-Boy) actually beat Matt.  I'm sure the team is thinking that if they piss off the lawyer Puzzle Boy and then he re-enters the game, he'll cause some major trouble.  If they keep him, they still have the chance of him keeping somewhat loyal to their group in case of a merge.  If by some cruel joke of the Lord, Sarita actually did manage to beat Matt & come back to the game, she's too uh, nice, to flip on her team even though they voted her out.  Sarita just did not have the "Outwit" in her.  She's too nice to play this game.  And that's not to say that other people who've done well aren't  nice (see Tina, season 2) but they had some shrewdness to them that she just doesn't possess.  She loves everyone. All the time. No matter what.  It's annoying, really.  She has a huge fight with David and then says stuff like, "I really respect you, David."  He says, "Stuff it, Sarita" and she'd respond with, "I like you."  Right?  Even last night, she got totally completely blindsided by her tight tribe and then left with a wave & "good luck guys" and "I love you guys!" or something.  Ugh!  She likely thanks the cop who tickets her car and hugs kids for egging her house.  And bless her for it, 'cause it's not at all a bad way to be.  But it won't win you a million bucks on Survivor.  I think the switch in her tribe may have come when she basically offered to go if it would be good for the team.  She said something like, "If I thought it would be better to send me home than David, I'd offer to go, but I think I'm as good as David."  Or something like that.  You could see a few light bulbs go on for sure. Or at least that's what I thought. 

Then the last bit of awesomeness comes when Jeff asks Ralph if he'd prefer a group who gets along but doesn't work hard, or a group who hates each other but works as a cohesive unit.  "I don't understand - cohesive? What does that mean?" says Ralph.  Jeff, a little frustrated asks again, simpler.  Ralph again screws it up answering, "I disagree."  Jeff:  "You CAN'T disagree.  You have to pick one!"  Snort!

My prediction at this point is that none of that team will make it to the end anyway.  I call a Rob vs. Matt final.  Possibly Andrea or Grant in the final four as well if it's Matt... If Rob's in control, he'd take someone he knows he can win against, like one of those spa girls.  Getting ahead of myself.  Don't miss next week... The merge!  The merge!  So exciting!

Have You Read Jeff's Blog Yet?

Just in addition to what I wrote today, I thought I'd provide you with the link to my boyfriend, Jeff Probst's blog. I always enjoy reading his blog after I write mine to see how we differ, and also to get some behind-the-scenes insight.  He's pretty good not to reveal any spoilers, and he's brutally honest about what he thinks of the contestants.  In his blog about yesterday's episode, I really like what he writes about Boston Rob's handling of the fight between Phillip & the Spa Girls.  Also, I thought you might enjoy the complete Phillip speech in its entirety.  It's here.  Enjoy!

Oh, and by the way, Jeff gets WAY more comments than I do.  Come on, people!  : )

http://www.jeffprobst.com/2011/03/24/survivor-redemption-island-episode-6-32311/#

Hell Hath No Fury....

Oh my.  Phillip was once again the STAR, wasn't he?  He was so good last night, that I had to rewind the PVR (is 'rewind' still the right word?) and listen again because the amazingness that was coming out of his mouth was too much for just one watch. 

Phillip Gets His Freak On, Part I

First, there was a lot of drama at camp Rob due to those stupid girls & their spa day.  All they do is sit around and suntan and pick at each other like monkeys at the zoo.  They were actually plucking each other's eyebrows and armpit hairs... yes. Now, I have a feeling they're not the first Survivor girls to do this, but they are the first ones to do so on Phillip's watch.  Now, Phil comes from a large family and has told us how he had to go to work in high school & of course then there was the military.  So we can fault him for a lot of things, but work ethic ain't one of them.  So, he basically lost it on those girls (Ashley and Natalie are indeed their names, but it doesn't really matter.  Don't get attached.) who in turn pretty much gave him the ol' talk to the hand, and the patented "You're not my father!" response.  And when he told them that he didn't have to say anything to the boys or to "An-DRAY-ah" and then they yell at him the proper pronunciation: "ANdreeah".... Heh.  (Whose name will he screw up next?  Nay-tal-ie?)  The best was Rob, who delights in the whole thing as entertainment.  Rob says to Grant, "They're 20 year-old girls... they're not going to do anything & I'm not going to be the one to try to make them."  And then he tells us that it's fine by him - the more they don't do and the more they annoy everyone, the better for him.  Why would anyone give them a million dollars?  So true.  And again, totally amazing to me that people would go on the show and treat it like a beach vacation.  But, Rob is right.  They are 20.  That said, it is frightening to me that Ashley is a nurse.

The Duel

Matt prevails AGAIN!  So even though Phillip was the star of the episode, let's talk about how much of a star Matt is.  He is television gold - we root for him because he's the good guy, he's so nice, he's handsome, we like his ponytail (Kylie!) and he's SO amazing at the challenges.  You can't script this stuff, I don't care how many people try to argue this point with me!  Last night's challenge totally could have gone either way.  It didn't involve strength - and I have to say I enjoy how all the Redemption Island challenges so far have been either puzzles or skill games - so it doesn't matter if it's a strong dude vs. a girl or whatever.  Krista was winning the challenge out of the gate & she was super good at the first part.  But Matt's calmness again won the day as he took his time, caught up and did better at the second half of the challenge while Krista faltered. The two of them were kind of cute, praying together before hand (though not being that sort, it seemed a bit much to me, non?) and then it was nice that Krista gave her Bible to Matt when she got voted out.  The best part though, was that Andrea was watching and got SO jealous.  She says to us something like, "I thought Matt and I had bonded, but there was obviously a strong bond between him and Krista, so I don't know. Maybe Matt is dangerous!"  Hee hee.  Watch out Matt... Hell hath no fury....  (wait for it....)

The Challenge & The Aftermath:  Phillip's Freak Part II

Team Rob DOMINATED the challenge.  Grant, the former football star, handed Mike, the former Marine, his ass.  It was delightful to watch... When Mike tries to hold Grant back by grabbing his shirt & it rips, Grant just rips off the shirt and throws it at Mike.  (Uh, ladies.... and some gentlemen.... how was THAT for good TV, right? Hubba hubba!)  (Did I just type "hubba hubba"? Oh dear.)  Right.  So, team steel wool was useless.  David actually yelled at one point, "Guys!  Keep your eyes open!"  Now I don't know if you've played any sports before, but this kind of comment would basically make you want to punch David in the throat. 

Team Rob won a picnic up on a scenic cliff & this is where the best amazingness of the show happens.  First bit of amazingness was Rob, looking up at the GIANT statue of what is quite obviously Jesus, saying, "I wonder who that statue is?"  And someone saying, "It's Jesus, idiot."  (OK, the "idiot" part was added by me.)  Note that it even SAYS "Jesus" at the base of the statue. 

So the next bit of amazingness was Phillip, of course.  Phil catches Grant grabbing the hidden immunity clue and going off with Rob to look at it.  So, natch, they share it with Phillip.  But Phil tells us a couple of things. First, that he's so glad to be in an alliance with them, that he has even come up with a name for their alliance:

STEALTH R US:  In which "I am the specialist, Rob is the mentalist, and Grant is the assassin." 

Right?  So good. It got better.  How? When Phil tells us that he's a little cheesed that Rob & Grant may have been trying to keep the clue from him, and that they'd better watch out because he and the UNITED STATES are going to come after them... and then this:

"Hell hath no fury like a lion (points to one tattoo) or a gorilla (points to other tattoo).....(pause while he thinks of how the rest of that is supposed to go....)....... when it THINKS IT'S BEEN PROVOKED."

Best. Quote. Ever. 

You don't have to actually provoke the lion or the gorilla apparently, you just have to make it THINK it's been provoked.  Ha!  Oh my god, Phillip makes my life.

Green Pumps vs Annoying Toothache

Over at Team Steel Wool, the choice was clearly between Stephanie and Sarita.  Stephanie seemed like an obvious choice, but did her best to redeem herself a little with people like Steve, who bullied her into saying why she voted for him.  (Uh, she had to vote for SOMEONE on your alliance.  Who cares?)  I liked Steph lying there saying "How do I try to suck up to people I hate?  Why didn't I learn this in school?"...  Hee. Anyway, David hates Sarita ever since she didn't let him to the puzzle, remember?  David, who himself is super annoying and a bully ("I will be doing the puzzles from now on. Period." Remember?) and who is now digging his own grave by not voting with his group.  He hates Sarita so tries hard to get his team to vote for her - someone they all trust - instead of Stephanie.  He tries to make the case that Stephanie is stronger in challenges - which on the surface seems true, but actually isn't.  We've seen Steph personally screw up two challenges in a row for her team.  Fiesty, sure.  Winner, not so much.  She fools you into thinking she's tough.  Even when she got voted out, I thought to myself, she'll give Matt a run for his money!  Then I thought, no... actually, Jesus will make sure Matt beats her.  Kidding... that's not what I thought... But I do think Matt will win their duel.  And naturally, the team can see through David's arguement to the fact that he really just doesn't like Sarita.  So now that Stephanie is gone, who does he suppose will be the next  one they vote out?  Hmmm?  For a lawyer, David isn't actually that smart. 

A final bit of amazingness to leave you with.  Ralph's spelling continues to be atrocious.  First it was "Ressell" then "Krasta" and now "Stifinie"...  Wow.  At least he can chop wood.

I'll Trade You a Few of Those Useless Girls for a Half a Doughnut....

Fighting the Good Fight

So let's start with the awesomeness that is Matt.  Do you think Fabio II could go as far as Fabio I?  I get the feeling that Pensacola Rob is a little worried where Matt is concerned.  Dude could give Rob a run for his money, non?  And thanks to faithful reader Kylie for pointing out Matt's hair.  I love the ponytail.  You know Matt is serious when the ponytail comes out.  Last night, once again, he remained so calm and put together a cube puzzle WHILE talking up Jeff & Rob.  He called Rob a "rascal" for voting him out.  How cute was that?  And so when my boyfriend Jeff takes up Matt's challenge & asks Rob to explain to Matt why he was voted out, Rob gave the ultimate diplomatic answer:  "Jeff, you know it takes more than one person to vote someone out."   Love it.  And it makes me wonder what'll happen if Matt re-joins the tribe... will he flip on Rob or will he forgive?  I'm inclined to think he'll lean towards peace, love & forgiveness. Vengeance doesn't seem to be his thing.  So yeah, Kristina went home.  I'm not too broken up about it.  From the beginning she was smart, but screwed up in her alliances and by panicking with the idol.  And frankly, her boobs were really distracting, non?  Just me? 

Green Pumps Stephanie

You know I hate Green-Pumps-Stephanie.  (As an aside, I read on Jeff's blog recently that the show asks people to wear clothing that best represents how they'd be outside the game.  That if everyone wore shorts & t-shirts, it would be boring. True, I suppose, but still. Pumps?  Phillip's underwear?  Sash's skinny tie from last season?)  Anyway, back to Steph.  As much as I can't stand her, I will give a couple of kudos to her.  First, she comes up with the idea to tell Rob at Redemption Island that she & Krista are more than willing to jump ship and vote with him in the event of a merge.  Not a bad move, should they make it that far.  These girls don't have a lot of options left without Russell, and I admire the try.  Krista, on the other hand, has no ideas.  Let's call her Purple Kelly II... only a less likable version.  Skipping ahead to the challenge, I also thought Steph didn't do such a bad job.  Her team screwed her by not listening in the blindfold part (Steel Wool Ralph was super annoying in particular... "Stephanie, where do I go?" "Stephanie, what do I do now?" Talk about needy.  And I liked her telling him, "Ralph, wait until I address you.  Just WAIT!"  Hee.  So she had a lot of catching up to do once she got to the puzzle part.  And she was right in there - had a couple of the words right, but Rob just got it first.  More on that in a bit.  For now, just know that even I can say some nice things about the players I can't stand.... sometimes.

Phillip, What Does Your Intel Say About This One?

So over at Team Rob, things are pretty good.  Phillip is making everyone crazy and I loved the shot of him getting his baggy panties (as Rob calls 'em) right up awfully close to the girls.  Heh.  Whether he's doing it on purpose or not, I'm not sure, but it makes me laugh.  And then he wonders why the girls stay away from him.  Ha.  So Phillip makes a pretty good move toward Andrea (whose name he pronounces An-DRAY-ah..what is wrong with him and girls' names?), knowing that she's still on the outs a bit from the Matt vote.  Smart.  We can't be sure yet if she'll go that way, but it was a pretty good move on Phil's part. He can be pretty likable when his junk isn't hanging out of his pants!  He was cute when the tribe won the challenge & got to eat a bunch of pastries & doughnuts (seriously, I am still craving a chocolate doughnut today) and he was SO happy, smiling from ear to ear.  But then, in typical Phillip fashion, he stepped over the line and tried bartering a half doughnut for a massage from one of the girls. I liked how it was a HALF a doughnut.  Like he really wants a massage, but can't quite give up that other half.  Then again, I don't entirely blame him!  Mmmmmm.... doughnut. 

(Insert clever football play reference here)


Along with the pastries came a can of coffee. Grant opens it up to give it a sniff and swirls it around and sure enough, there's the immunity idol clue.  Rob sees too, but the two are tight, so Grant runs a block, passes off to Rob who takes the coffee into the end zone (ok, I'll stop) where he sneakily exchanges the new clue for the old, vague one to give to Grant.  Yeah, he & Grant are buds, but Rob is looking out for Rob this time out & he tells us, "I've got to entertain myself out here somehow."  Hee.  And things just keep going Rob's way.

Who ARE those girls?

So over on Team Rob there are two girls who are completely useless.  Honestly, they've been so useless I haven't even bothered learning their names.  I think maybe they are Natalie and Ashley?  Maybe?  At any rate, there was a nice montage (oh Survivor editors, how I love thee!) of Andrea complaining about the other two girls and how she doesn't really fit in with them, but she knows she has to try to hang out with them anyway.  She says they don't really do any work at camp and their conversations always turn to how their hair looks or something like that.  Cut to montage of the two girls picking at each other's hair like monkeys and talking about hair and suntanning, etc.  Which, truly, probably a lot of girls would do, but to edit it all together makes them look hilarious.  Next week, Phillip loses his mind on them for having a spa day!  Can't wait!! 

So There Are Those Who Are Playing, and Those Who Are Not

Right?  Those girls, not. Krista, not.  And Stephanie had a reasonable point about her tribe not really playing the game and thinking about an end plan.  It's good that they all get along now, but she's right, they're going to have to start playing soon.  I liked how she outed everyone's mini-alliances and the fact that David has none.   Skipping to David for a minute, how much of an arse was he?  Telling Sarita that he will be doing the puzzles from now on because he's a lawyer and the obvious choice.  What.  Ever.  I think he's a bit of a weasel.  And on that same note, I didn't like how Steve was complaining about Stephanie's loss either, saying that they had made the wrong choice and that the team had dropped the ball, etc.  Uh, dude, why didn't you speak up, then?  It's as easy as that, really.  Now, back to the original point, I did like Steve calling out Stephanie & Krista at Tribal Council for not scrambling.  And it was surprising, at least from Stephanie.  I mean Krista doesn't have any ideas of her own, we've already established that.  (Heh heh... who was it, was it Steve who said that she could have done something to make bonds with people & not just been abrasive the whole time. Hee!)  But Steph I'm surprised at.  She seems to usually have a few ideas. Maybe she had the instinct that Krista was going anyway... or maybe it just is that hard to come up with something when you're two abrasive, young whippersnappers vs. a tight, older, intimidating group of six?   At any rate, it was not a shocker that Krista was voted out.  Good riddance to you & your scowly face, I say.  Who will win between Scowly-Face and Matt?  They make it look like Matt has a tough time next week, but I think the boss-man (Jesus, not Mark Burnett) is on his side and he and his ponytail will prevail.

Good vs. Evil or Chimp vs. Baboon?

The Demise of Russell Hantz!!! 

This is a very big deal.  This is a guy who in two seasons did not get voted out - he made it to the end..... without winning, but still.  Russell believes he is one of the best Survivor players ever... and in past seasons this may have been true.  But the problem with being a 'legend' is that well, people know you.  And how does that saying go...?  The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again...?  I do believe Russell's a smart guy.  But his ego gets in the way of his brain.  Here's where Boston Rob has the advantage - he was voted out last time and had a bit of time to think about it.  He's had the Rob bubble burst before.  So Rob is learning.  Rob is adapting. Rob is the chimp who has learned to use tools, while Russell is just a baboon showing his teeth.  Too much?

The Duel - Good vs. Evil?

I have to say I'm really digging Matt.  He's not freaking out.  At all.  He's super calm going into the challenges and it's paying off.  He realized it was a big deal to go up against Russell, but his "purpose" is something about "honouring his God" or some such... and whether or not you're into that kind of thing, Matt is into that kind of thing and it's helping him.  At the very least, Matt believes he's got some help & guidance from a higher power and maybe this gives him some calm.  (As an aside, I sorta wonder about Russell's beliefs. He's wearing the cross, he's got the cross tattoo... is Russell a religious man, or is he just into the fashion? Is it part of the fedora-wearing, razor-burned-armpits, keep-hope-alive mystique that is Russell? Or is he a different sort of dude at home?)  So was it really good vs. evil?  Maybe Fabio II is getting some good vibes from previous winner, Fabio I?  Maybe it's Jesus? I don't know.  And you know I don't buy into that "playing the game with integrity" BS.  I think Russell's game has as much validity as Matt's.  But, I am impressed with Matt so far.

Sniff, sniff

When Russell lost, he cried.  What did you think?  Did you feel bad for him... just a little?  I did. I mean, love him or hate him, the dude LOVES to play Survivor.  He doesn't particularly need the money or the fame (though, I'm sure he likes both), but I do believe him when he says he respects the game.  I also believe the tears were just an honest outpouring of real emotion from a guy who really believed he could win this game, however misguided that idea may be.  Now, before we get too involved in Russell's emotions, the really fun part was when he "turned on the Russell" and let loose with a bunch of info about his tribe... who's in charge, who's tight, etc.  Problem is, he told Philip and Kristina, who may or may not ever be in any kind of position to use that information.  Russell also called out Ralph (who was also there watching along with Sarita) for throwing the challenge and for being stupid.  I liked Ralph's response.... basically, well, I'm here & you're not, Ressell.  Was that stupid, or really, really smart?  The risk appears to have paid off.  And, for those of you who like discussing the "playing with integrity" angle.... think about whether Steel Wool's alliance played with integrity in throwing that challenge as a means to an end.  It worked, so we like it.  If it was Russell's idea, would you have liked it as much?

Bring on the Crazy

Oh, Philip.  He's so irritating, but man is he good TV. His tribe pretty much can't stand him.  There was a whole segment on them commenting on the fuscia Y-fronts.  Rob was calling them what... baggy panties?  I think.  And yeah, they're getting more & more stretched out, so there's for sure junk on the loose that is now getting blurred out for us viewers... not so much for his poor tribemates.  Eesh.  And he's still running around in his baggy panties with a javelin hunting tiny crabs like a caveman.  And at the Russell-Matt duel when Ralph can't help but brag how he found the hidden immunity idol in 15 seconds, then Russell tells him to prove it, then Ralph decides to keep it to himself with a "maybe I have it, maybe I don't" statement.... Phil pipes up, "He was telling the truth.  Because I am a FORMER FEDERAL AGENT, I can tell when a person is lying."  OK. (Well, he was right....) Later he instructs Kristina not to tell the tribe about the info they gathered because he'll take it Rob and exchange it for her safety in the game.  (Kristina: eye roll.)  When he goes to Rob, Rob just says, "Well, I think you should just tell us the info because you're in our alliance."  Hee. Rob later says to us about Phil, "Hey dumbass, aren't you in my alliance? Don't you work for ME?" Heh heh.  So of course, Rob tells Crazy-pants that yes, Kristina will be safe.  I think Rob gets that it's easier to keep a guy like Philip around, but it's going to be harder and harder to convince others of that.  Imagine living with Philip.... I am not sure I could do it.

The Pensacola Kid

So back to my point about Russell learning nothing and Rob having figured it out... Rob finds the hidden immunity idol.  He cleverly comes up with a game for his tribe, gets them all away from camp, tells them his stomach isn't feeling well, and goes & finds the idol.  Brilliant.  Whether he plays it or not, he knows that the best thing is to make sure no one else  has the idol.  Hey, that's what happens when you get to play four times. (If Russell came back a 4th time, do you think he'd FINALLY figure it out?)

The Challenge - Does Rob Miss Matt?

Team Steel Wool won the challenge - I guess I can't call it Team Russell any more... Anyway, it was pretty close, but it's going to be tough to beat that team now.  They've got Steel Wool, Steve, Mike, Dave, the Firewoman Julie.... some serious muscle.  Team Rob has Rob and Grant.  I'm wondering if Rob is regretting sending Matt away & thinking he should have sent that wimpy girl instead.... If Team Rob keeps losing, this could mean trouble for Rob.  It's easy to think he's got the game down - he does.  But if  he loses his tribemates because they keep losing challenges, he goes into a merge vs. a bunch of people who don't care that he's King Rob and maybe Matt is back too... Rob's team better start hoping for some puzzles.  Oh, and when team Steel Wool won, he did that stupid rooster thing.  Ugh.  Please stop. 

This Just Popped Into My Brain

OK, so I know it's early to be thinking about this stuff.  But... imagine a Rob vs. Matt showdown at the end! I am giddy just thinking about it.  Who would win?  Rob, 'cause he's the king?  Or Matt, 'cause he's amazing and has the lord on his side?  Oh sweet baby Jesus, let it happen!  Coming back from Redemption Island could actually work in someone's favour in that A) people will respect them for being a tough competitor and B) because they were away, they weren't involved in any decisions about voting people off... so not so many noses out of joint.  Interesting, non?

Tribal Council

I thought it would be a little more interesting with Philip in attendance, and there were still some delightful bits. Again, as always, Phil had to tell everyone how he was a FORMER FEDERAL AGENT, but this time added a little more to his story.  From a family of 12, lost his mom at an early age, worked through high school & then joined the army. Received the "second highest honour" while working in field sanitation. I had to look this up.  Yes, Phil would have been on latrine duty.  Also it has something to do with making sure there's safe food & drinking water.  So this makes me wonder what the qualifications were to become a secret agent?  I don't know. Maybe it's not so much a Former Federal Agent, as a former agent of the federal government responsible for the army's waste materials... Whatever, he's delightful to watch in a what-the-hell-is-going-to-come-out-of-that-guy's-mouth-next kind of way.  At any rate, they split the vote between Phil & Kristina.... with Kristina getting the extra vote. She tried hard to stay, and for sure the girls would rather have her around then Phil's junk waving about, but it was likely a good call. 

Love, Hate and Poking the Bear

While this episode didn't have as much in-your-face comedy as the two previous episodes, there was a lot to love here and a little bit to hate.  More on that later.

Let's start with the love. 

The Duel

Redemption Island was a bit of a love-in with Francesqua and Fabio II.  I have to admit I was wrong, though.  My money was on Fran to win the big duel, but it turns out that Jesus really was on Fab's side & helped him pull off a victory.  Makes me wonder if having a few days toughing it out by yourself really does make a difference?  We'll have to see.  I enjoyed how 2 people from each tribe were allowed to go watch and then report back to the group.  For Tribe Rob it was Andrea & Ashley (Note: for the entire last post, I referred to Andrea as Ashley.  Oops. But seriously... all the tiny blond girls always are interchangeable to me... I find it tough to keep them straight.  Remember Purple Kelly?  Thank God she had purple hair or I'd have no idea who the hell she was til day 30 or so.  I even had to just now go to the CBS site to look up if the "other girl's" name is actually Ashley.  It is. And none of you called me on my error, so I have to assume that none of you know/care about the difference either.)  Anyway, Andrea is pissed about the tribe voting off her BF, Fabio II, so she makes sure to announce that she didn't vote either of the duel contestants off.  OK, blonde, sit down!  At least she talks.  And cries.  Poor, poor, doe-eyed Andrea. Thank goodness Pensacola Rob was there to talk to her & explain the vote.  He reminded her that 4 people voted for Matt, that it wasn't just him making the decision (smart, right?) and not to worry.  I do give her a teensy bit of credit for saying she doesn't trust Rob, but I still can't see her being much of a player... she's too sensitive. 

Back to the duel... Steve & Dave got to go for Tribe Russell.  They figured they'd tell Russell that "the black girl" won, not "the blonde dude".  (Really guys?  My boyfriend Jeff called them by their names at the challenge... is it that hard?  Wait.  Fran-cheese-qua.  Yes, maybe it is.)  Anyways, I'm not entirely sure what they thought this would accomplish, except maybe just to mess with Russell's head a bit... It didn't seem to. When Russell eventually went to Redemption Island & saw that it was Matt, he just kinda went, "Oh. They told me it was the black girl."  Surprise.... (cue sad Charlie Brown music.)

The Throw

Team Russell threw the challenge so that they could get rid of him.  This is  huge.  First of all, it's huge because it could backfire & it at least looked like it was going to (Dang those clever editors... I fully thought the firewoman was going to flip. Did you?  More on that later.)  Second, it's huge because Russell can still possibly come back.  And he will come back mad.  It's like poking a bear.  You could just let the bear go about his business, eating and sleeping and scratching at his lumps (uhhhhhh, what the hell is with Russell's infected, razor-burned armpits?  Ew.  And why the hell would a dude shave his armpits in the first place?) and believing he is king of the forest, OR you can go up and poke the bear with a stick.  Knowing that Fabio is at R.I. (Redemption Island is so long to type), I think the better choice would have been to get rid of Russell's minions, Stephanie & Krista, thinking that Matt would have a better chance of beating them and getting rid of them for good.  The last thing either team wants is for a pissed off bear to end up voting with the other tribe at the merge... a likely spot for them to be reinserted.  I don't think Russell's tribe is thinking ahead this way and I really think the bear is going to come back to bite their collective asses.  And back to the throw for a sec... the group could have done a better job.  David just stood there and LOOKED at the puzzle, while Rob solved it.  David could have at least moved a piece or two around.  David is not an actor.  (Can you imagine if they had Former Special Agent Philip on their team.  He would have just announced it to Russell, "They are throwing the challenge.  I am a Former Special Agent.  I can tell.")  Even though Russell called them out for it at Tribal Council, I'm glad that everyone kept up the ruse.  David said, "Just because the hands aren't working, doesn't mean the mind isn't."  Hee.  I'm going to use that in my list of awesome Survivor excuses, right after "I have a dry throat. I'm getting treatment for it." 

The Almost-Flip

Julie.  She's the "old lady" firefighter.  We hadn't seen much of her til now.  I can't remember who called her an old lady, but it was probably Stephanie 'cause she's an idiot.   At any rate, can we talk for a minute about the fact that Julie is 50?  Have you seen her bod?  It's AMAZING!  (As an aside, I just read that Julie is also an outrigger canoe paddler who has won some serious races.  I am a comparatively beginner outrigger canoe paddler, and am now hoping to have a bod like Julie's when I am 50!!  Mind you, poolster Lori claims that Julie also has "beady eyes" and I am hoping this has nothing to do with paddling.)  Right.  So Russell and his followers decide to try to flip Julie by telling her that she has a much better chance with them than she would with the six others.  She makes it sound very convincing that she was sold on the idea, saying that yeah, she'd like to go to the end with someone like Russell who had been there before and even did the fist-bump with them to show them that she's in (The fist bump is the new handshake?  Discuss.)  It was convincing.  Even up til Tribal Council... she sat there smirking away... I thought she was smirking with Russell, but it turns out she was smirking AGAINST Russell. Hee. I was so ready to hate her for being stupid, and now I love her for being a fit, beady-eyed, 50 year-old paddler who sticks with her alliance.  Yay, Julie! 

The Fat Ass

OK, I really don't think Philip has a fat ass.  He's weird, for sure.  The fuscia Y-fronts are offensive, definitely. But, Philip and his ass saved the day for Boston Rob. Sort of.  When they won the immunity challenge, Team Rob got a reward too... some comfort items like beach chairs, blankets, a tarp.  Everyone figures there will be a clue to the hidden immunity idol so they all look through all the stuff upon return to camp.  As Rob is searching away, he notices the clue in the chair that Philip is sitting in.  He tells Phil that the chair's about to break & if he gives it to him, he'll go & fix it.  He later comments that he never thought he'd be thankful for Philip's fat ass, but if he hadn't almost broken the chair, he'd have never noticed the clue.  Now, that's not to say that he found the idol.  He looked and then said, "It might as well have said, "The idol is somewhere.""  Hee.  Mostly he was happy knowing that no one else has the clue.  Again, well played.  I am loving watching Rob so much.

The Hate

From the love to the hate.  I hate Stephanie so much.  She looks annoying, she sounds annoying, she wore green pumps, the "sucks at life" comment, and now this.  The cocky, cranky, know-it-all, condescending talk at Tribal Council.  And the huge suck-up factor.  Did you see her looking at Russell like he's the second coming?  Did you see the two of them (Steph & Krista) sitting with Russell in the shade while everyone was working?  (Who was it called them Russell's "concubines"?  Sarita maybe?  Loved it.)  Ugh.  She's awful. I enjoyed Sarita voting for Stephanie and saying, "You are misguided and rude."  Well said, sister!

The Vote

So the six stayed solid and voted 3-3 Russell & Stephanie just in case they had an idol, forcing a re-vote (is that a word? Re-vote?)  Then the six all voted Russell.  Many shots of Russell's tattoo that says "Keep Hope Alive."  I am so hoping that he gets another tattoo that says, "I'm dealing with a bunch of bitches."  (Note to self:  add this Russell quote to list of Survivor excuses.)  While I enjoyed, as I'm sure a lot of you did, watching Russell be NOT in control and get voted out for the first time ever, I'm telling you.... Trust. The bear is very angry.