So I'm not entirely sure what the point of switching up the tribes was since there is going to be a merge already next episode. For two episodes, we switched up the Fans & Favourites.... This was good for the fans who ended up on team Young & Good-Looking. Not so good for the fans who did not.
Team Not So Young & Less Good Looking had a lot of Philip to deal with. Had Philip not made the alliance he did, he'd have been voted off this episode for sure. It began with him in fine form discussing his fine form... or at least his own perception of his fine form. Now, to be fair, Philip is in pretty great shape for his age as we've discussed already. He's won some challenges for his team, he's a pretty strong guy. BUT... he is no spring chicken. Most people have some idea of their strengths and weaknesses. For example, I'm a pretty decent Survivor blogger, but I don't call myself a 'Writer'. I will not likely be getting a book deal any time soon. (However, if there is a publisher reading this right now, I've got some excellent ideas cookin'...) Philip, on the other hand, has a bit of an inflated sense of self. He starts off by saying he's stronger in the upper body... so you think maybe there's a statement coming up about how he's not as strong in the lower body....but no. He then goes on to tell us about his weight lifting routine... and how he can be strong without actually looking it. Uh-huh. Then he tells us he can beat anyone in an arm-wrestling contest. His first target: Cochran. Cochran is game and takes him on, gets a bit of a lesson (naturally) in how to arm wrestle properly, and then gets beaten by Philip (again, naturally.) Cochran tells us that Philip actually used him to make himself feel better by asking Cochran to put all of his weight into the arm wrestle and then still winning. Yeah, not so great for C's morale, but at least he's aware of it.
Meanwhile, Corinne and Philip have totally had it with each other. I think she calls him (to the camera) a 'tubby bag of skin' or something like that? (Are those my words or hers?) Tubby was definitely hers. They are still voting together, but are just biding their time 'til they can vote each other out. What doesn't help is that Philip again took the lead in the reward challenge where the teams had to walk around a 'track' in about knee-deep water (which is actually way harder than it looks) carrying weights. One team had to catch the other one and people could opt out & hand their weights off to a teammate. Can you guess what happened. Team Y&GL won, super easily. It wasn't even a competition. What should have happened is that everyone gave their weights to the strongest member(s)...which in this case were Corinne and Michael. However, what DID happen was that Philip was too proud (read: stubborn, vain) to see that he was actually hindering the group. So he stayed on, in front, but kept saying that he was tired and they couldn't run. He kept expecting that everyone would give HIM their weights, so I guess he was saving himself? At any rate, it was a blowout. The best part was Brenda, who was sitting on the sidelines for Team Y&GL jumping up & down, squealing "coffee & pastries!" like a 5 year-old. It was actually more endearing than it sounds.
Later, Philip would again lose the immunity challenge. His team valiantly kept up throughout the challenge, which involved paddling, diving, carrying heavy things... then throwing a grappling hook (as Cochran said, "A secret agent's main tool!" and collecting keys. Philip lost to Reynold, who again was amazing at this, and then told Cochran that he lost on purpose. Riiiiiiight. 'Cause he would never just lose because he wasn't as good, right?
While frustrating as all get-out, the Faves know they can't vote out Philip, so it's a toss-up between Michael & Julia. Again, it comes down to Corinne vs. Philip. Corinne wants to keep 'her gay' and Philip wants to vote out 'her gay' just to spite her. Lucky for the gay, Julia has no redeeming qualities. Earlier she was given a spy task by the Federal Agent Specialist and immediately talked to Dawn about it, who then told Philip. (Have we talked much about how smart Dawn is playing and how awesome she is?) So, Philip was betrayed and Julia must go. Also, she's not particularly great at challenges, and as Cochran aptly described, "I'd say her personality was vanilla, but that would be doing a great disservice to vanilla." So true. I'm sure she's a nice person, but she made it almost half way through the series being completely mute. And boring. And sorry, but it's TV. We can't stand Reynold, but we'd rather watch him. Ugh... I feel dirty now.
So yeah, Julia went home (yawn....) and Michael may be saved by the merge, where his only allies are Corinne and Sherri. The only other fans left are Eddie and Reynold, who have now made an alliance with Malcolm and Erik. Malcolm, 'cause he's super smart and should win this game, has noted that the strong dudes often get targeted at the merge... so wouldn't that be a nice time to make an alliance of the strongest dudes. Huh. How come no one's thought of this before? I also like how Malcolm did not mention this to Ednold right away but waited until he knew it would be closer to the merge to make sure a) they were still around and b) they could trust each other. Because Ednold are more desperate than Malcolm they tell him immediately about their (Reynold's) idol. Hee hee. So now Malcolm is the only one who knows about both idols. Remember that Corinne knows about Malcolm's idol, so it'll be interesting to see whether he keeps her close & uses her vote (probably) or will he side with the Specialist to blindside her out of the game before she can spill to anyone else? Also a good choice. It's really not looking great for Sherri at this point unless Corinne and Philip can't take it any more and go after each other.
In other news, I'll be on holidays for a couple of weeks. Am going to try to keep up with the blog, but you'll forgive if it's not super on time? It's not a given I'll be able to watch, but I'll give it a go. Aloha!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
The Big Switcheroo
Sorry again for the late blog. Sometimes life gets in the way. Might be a bit of a short one today too.
What you need to know this week (if you don't already) is that the tribes switched up. It's one of those things that makes the game interesting and is good TV, but is quite unfortunate for many of our Survivors. For the Favourites, I was kind of disappointed that we don't really get to see how they do as a group without Baby. They're finally gelling and as Philip says, "I can sleep without leaving one eye open." Ha. I also enjoyed where Philip said that Baby needs professional help (see previous blog) and that even "The Specialist" can't help him... he needs a whole other kind of specialist. Sometimes Philip is brilliant.
So the switch wasn't great for our favourites, who probably could've kept dominating challenges. Now, through an entirely random pick, it has turned out that all the young, strong people ended up on one tribe while all the....errrr... not as young and strong people are on the other. As Edold put it (honestly, I can't remember if it was Eddie or Reynold, and it doesn't matter 'cause they're the same.), "All the young and good-looking people are together!" Well, aren't we a little bit into ourselves? Must have been Reynold. Anyway, it's Reynold, Eddie, Malcolm, Andrea, Brenda, Sherri & Erik on one tribe vs. Philip, Cochran, Dawn, Corrine, Matt, Michael & Julia. See what I mean? It's ridiculous. There had better be some puzzles.
Our favourites are still in charge, numbers-wise on each tribe so it is going to be interesting to see if the alliance holds. On Team Young & Good-Looking, Edold waited approximately 17 seconds to start smack-talking Sherri, which was (thankfully) met with some apprehension by the Faves, who are surely smart enough to see that it should be one of those boys who should go if they ever have to go to Tribal Council again, which doesn't look likely.
Over on Team Older & Less-Good-Looking, Philip first tried to sway Julia, telling her that she could be at the bottom of his alliance. Well, that's a good sell. Then I think he told the fellas, Michael and Matt that if they behave and do as they're told, they could possibly be included in Stealth R Us. It's delightful to watch, really. In other news, Corinne and Philip are still looking to vote the other one out, but not until the Fans go first. Corinne is super happy to have 'a gay' on her team because she 'loves the gays so much'. Later, she called Michael, 'her gay'.... Thing is, I'm not entirely sure Michael is on board and ready for a love-in with Corinne. It's a little patronizing, non? If I'm him, I'm thinking, "I'm not YOUR gay." And well, it really hasn't been his 'thing' in the same way it was for say, Colton. Michael is a Survivor just like anyone else who just happens to also be gay. It's a little like having a Survivor with a Chinese background on the show and having someone exclaim, "Oh my god, this is awesome. I LOVE the Chinese!" That would be weird, right? I don't know, weigh in on this one, Survivor fans. I guess it's good that she doesn't hate the gays?
Gay-loving or not, I am enjoying Corinne's sass, which we haven't really gotten to hear much of yet. I enjoyed the part where she said Philip needed a "big ol' cup of shut the hell up." There were some other good lines from her too, that I should have written down. Note to self... write things down.
So, not surprisingly, Team Y&GL won the immunity challenge, no problem. Not. Even. Close. So, Team O&LGL had to figure it out between Julia, Matt & Michael. I think the best choice would have been Julia. She's "boring" (Corinne's words, not mine, but it is true.) and she's sneaky. Matt and Michael would both be easier to work with and better at challenges. However, they are all worried about who might have a hidden immunity idol and somehow Matt was more likely to have one (hidden in his beard perhaps?) than Michael. Also, being 'the gay' might have helped Michael... unsure. Matt & Michael also seemed more like a pair, so best to split them up, figures the Faves. So, in the end it was Matt going home. I liked Matt. I still didn't care for his beard, but I liked him as a character. He was a good guy who seemed genuinely nice (he was the first Fan to reach out to Philip and say that he felt bad for him in the Baby Hantz situation.) He would have been a fun jury member. However, it's not meant to be. Neither is that beard. Truly.
What you need to know this week (if you don't already) is that the tribes switched up. It's one of those things that makes the game interesting and is good TV, but is quite unfortunate for many of our Survivors. For the Favourites, I was kind of disappointed that we don't really get to see how they do as a group without Baby. They're finally gelling and as Philip says, "I can sleep without leaving one eye open." Ha. I also enjoyed where Philip said that Baby needs professional help (see previous blog) and that even "The Specialist" can't help him... he needs a whole other kind of specialist. Sometimes Philip is brilliant.
So the switch wasn't great for our favourites, who probably could've kept dominating challenges. Now, through an entirely random pick, it has turned out that all the young, strong people ended up on one tribe while all the....errrr... not as young and strong people are on the other. As Edold put it (honestly, I can't remember if it was Eddie or Reynold, and it doesn't matter 'cause they're the same.), "All the young and good-looking people are together!" Well, aren't we a little bit into ourselves? Must have been Reynold. Anyway, it's Reynold, Eddie, Malcolm, Andrea, Brenda, Sherri & Erik on one tribe vs. Philip, Cochran, Dawn, Corrine, Matt, Michael & Julia. See what I mean? It's ridiculous. There had better be some puzzles.
Our favourites are still in charge, numbers-wise on each tribe so it is going to be interesting to see if the alliance holds. On Team Young & Good-Looking, Edold waited approximately 17 seconds to start smack-talking Sherri, which was (thankfully) met with some apprehension by the Faves, who are surely smart enough to see that it should be one of those boys who should go if they ever have to go to Tribal Council again, which doesn't look likely.
Over on Team Older & Less-Good-Looking, Philip first tried to sway Julia, telling her that she could be at the bottom of his alliance. Well, that's a good sell. Then I think he told the fellas, Michael and Matt that if they behave and do as they're told, they could possibly be included in Stealth R Us. It's delightful to watch, really. In other news, Corinne and Philip are still looking to vote the other one out, but not until the Fans go first. Corinne is super happy to have 'a gay' on her team because she 'loves the gays so much'. Later, she called Michael, 'her gay'.... Thing is, I'm not entirely sure Michael is on board and ready for a love-in with Corinne. It's a little patronizing, non? If I'm him, I'm thinking, "I'm not YOUR gay." And well, it really hasn't been his 'thing' in the same way it was for say, Colton. Michael is a Survivor just like anyone else who just happens to also be gay. It's a little like having a Survivor with a Chinese background on the show and having someone exclaim, "Oh my god, this is awesome. I LOVE the Chinese!" That would be weird, right? I don't know, weigh in on this one, Survivor fans. I guess it's good that she doesn't hate the gays?
Gay-loving or not, I am enjoying Corinne's sass, which we haven't really gotten to hear much of yet. I enjoyed the part where she said Philip needed a "big ol' cup of shut the hell up." There were some other good lines from her too, that I should have written down. Note to self... write things down.
So, not surprisingly, Team Y&GL won the immunity challenge, no problem. Not. Even. Close. So, Team O&LGL had to figure it out between Julia, Matt & Michael. I think the best choice would have been Julia. She's "boring" (Corinne's words, not mine, but it is true.) and she's sneaky. Matt and Michael would both be easier to work with and better at challenges. However, they are all worried about who might have a hidden immunity idol and somehow Matt was more likely to have one (hidden in his beard perhaps?) than Michael. Also, being 'the gay' might have helped Michael... unsure. Matt & Michael also seemed more like a pair, so best to split them up, figures the Faves. So, in the end it was Matt going home. I liked Matt. I still didn't care for his beard, but I liked him as a character. He was a good guy who seemed genuinely nice (he was the first Fan to reach out to Philip and say that he felt bad for him in the Baby Hantz situation.) He would have been a fun jury member. However, it's not meant to be. Neither is that beard. Truly.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
I Am the Author of This Blog! And, I Can Feed Myself, Thanks
Wow, so that was one of the craziest, most uncomfortable hours of television ever, right? I don't think it suffices to say that Baby Hantz is crazy. He makes Shamar look perfectly well-adjusted. I'm no psychiatrist but I'm willing to go out on a limb and suggest that Baby has a mood disorder of some sort. He's up, then he's down, then he's up, then he's down.... He's moodier than a teenage girl with PMS. But the thing with him is that on his downswings, it's not just a bad mood. It turns into full-on rage. We've seen it several times. Then, when he calms down, he's very very sorry. I keep thinking - and it's a terrible thing to say - that he's the kind of guy who beats his wife. You cross him somehow and he'd lose his mind at you - ok, maybe emotionally more than physically, but it's got to happen at home too, right? Then he'd punch a wall and break something and then the next day be all apologetic and put his head in your lap and cry and beg you to forgive him. If it happens several times in six episodes (this season!) of Survivor, you can bet he's a peach to live with in real life. Dude needs counselling at best and possibly medication.
So backing up a bit.. what happened? Well, he woke up in a bad mood. He starts by telling everyone he wants to go home because he misses his wife & kids and feels guilty for selfishly trying to win a million dollars. (What?) He picked a fight with Philip. Which led to yelling and rage. Philip, to his credit, walked away. (Though, he did tell us that no one wants to pick a fight with the Specialist, 'cause he's got training or something or other... and actually... I kind of believe him.) Later... follow along with the pattern..... Baby feels bad. He now wants to stay in the game. He wants to compete hard for his family. He tries to make nice with Philip, who's pretty much had enough of being told to shut up and called a 'bitch'. (Or, 'punk-ass bitch' on occasion, for emphasis.) Philip calmly tells Baby that you know, this isn't really working. It's not me, it's you. You can trust me, but I just don't think I can trust you. And the kicker, "You really shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you." Meaning, I've let you into the alliance, now play along.
So Baby again sleeps on it and wakes up in an even worse mood than the day before. "I start the fire, I cook the food, and he tells me not to bite the hand that feeds me? I FEED ME!" OK, well aside from the fact that he took the phrase entirely literally, you can understand that he's a little bit frustrated with being at the bottom of the pecking order in an alliance led by Philip, who's not exactly the most normal dude himself.
Oh, also there was a reward challenge in which Baby and Philip were on deck for the Faves holding a rope that held up a net full of coconuts, which were continually adding to to make it heavier. Baby got the most coconuts at first, so let go of his rope first. Philip stayed cool and collected, actually taunting the other team until the Fans dropped both their nets (held by Michael & Matt). The Faves won a bunch of food. Yay, right? Nope, not if you're Baby Hantz. He's mad that HE didn't win it for them. "Philip's talking like he won the challenge..." Ummmm... Philip DID indeed win the challenge. I mean, Baby helped for sure, as did Brenda and Malcolm and Cochran who were throwing the coconuts for the Faves. (Aside: Did you love how they were going to sit out Cochran and he stepped up, saying, "No, I want to throw!" Yeah! I love his new confidence this season!) Anyway, Philip winning the challenge plus waking up mad about the alliance situation plus "I FEED ME" equals Baby Rage.
That's when he started yelling at Philip again. Lots more "Bitch/Punk-ass Bitch!" and then the unforgivable. He dumped out the rice and the beans on the ground. Now, let's remember that it hasn't been particularly nice out. Everyone's been rained on, out in the elements and tired and hungry. Granted, the Faves are doing much better than the Fans, who have no tarp and much less food. Still, dumping out food is only slightly below stabbing someone with a harpoon on the list of crappy things to do that'll get you voted off the island. I guess Baby figured that if he's going to go anyway, he will go out by being a complete and total selfish jerk. Then he kept repeating, "I will be the author of my fate, " or some damn thing... Again, Philip walks away rather than punch out Baby and the rest of the tribe starts trying to salvage what they can off the ground. I think it was Erik who said, "Why couldn't he just dump out ONE basket of food? Why two? It's not like he didn't make his point the first time." Which is sad and funny at the same time because it's true, but also because we're not dealing with a rational human here. He's like a 5 year-old. No, maybe five is too much. A two year-old who doesn't get his way. That's more like it, even though it does a disservice to a lot of nice two year-olds. Sorry.
So that's how the Faves decide as a group that they're going to conserve their energy and forfeit the immunity challenge. Why even compete when all they want is to go to Tribal Council and get rid of Baby? Seriously, if I'm them, I'm worried at this point that he's going to hurt someone or himself. Not even an exaggeration.
So just when you think it can't get more awkward and uncomfortable, drama unfolds at the challenge. Corinne tells my former boyfriend Jeff Probst that they want to forfeit. Then, on cue, Baby goes off. He starts telling the other tribe that Philip is bad and that he's running things and that they shouldn't let him get to the end. Jeff at some point gets Baby the heck away from the group (wise move) and gets him to stand by him instead. (Meanwhile, you know Security are just out of the camera shot...) Jeff tries to talk it out (promoting his new show, The Jeff Probst show, airing daytimes. Check your local listings.) This leads to more yelling, more rage, more "Bitch/Punk-ass Bitch!" (Honestly, I have never heard that word more in prime-time television, and I've seen The Bachelor.) Philip keeps his cool mostly but does finally lose it a bit (who wouldn't?) Remember, this is all unfolding in front of a dumbfounded Fans team. Andrea starts crying and Dawn is very emotional, as they're the two who tried the most to like Baby. (Andrea is a bit unstable as a teammate too, non? She herself caused a bunch of the rage when she told Baby that Philip was thinking of voting for him.... Dummy.)
So, in a huge first for the show, Jeff announces that we're going to have Tribal Council right now. (Legal is in his ear likely saying that it is a huge security risk to allow that insane dude to go back to camp where he might actually stab someone with a harpoon.) Brandon, who are you going to vote for? PHILIP! Everyone else, who are you going to vote for? One by one, Brandon. And so Baby is told to go wait behind a wall and Jeff will come get him while Baby walks away proclaiming, "I AM THE AUTHOR OF MY OWN ELIMINATION!" OK, buddy. Whatever.
Can we talk for a quick sec about how much Jeff loves Baby? He said it a number of times. And then with the shoulder massage? Is it like calming a dog down by petting it? Maybe Jeff knows more than I do about dealing with the Hantzes. He did ask, "Is it in the blood?" meaning "Is your family just a bunch of loud, selfish, immature losers?" Baby answered something like, "We dont' hold anything back. We say what's on our mind and I'm proud of that." Uh huh. Meaning: "I've been told that I'm special my whole life and have watched enough TV shows that have taught me that saying everything I feel is more important than common courtesy, manners or being civil and adult like a normal human." This man is a father of two. Let's all remember that.
So... yeah, some stuff happened with the Fans too. The most important being that Sherri is super annoyed that they all voted off Laura (and I did call it that yeah, she didn't want to but had to go along with the group) and then they still lost the challenge. Bah. Then, all of them looked for the immunity idol and Reynold found it AGAIN! Which, well, I love it in the sense that it makes the game more fun. I hate it that Reynold has it, 'cause he's a bit of a douchebag. Can I say that? Sure.
Next episode, it appears that they're going to merge. Which is crazy. The Faves are only up by 2 now, and wouldn't we like to continue on with these team dynamics? Apparently not. So will the Faves stay tight even in two teams? Sad for the Faves who have to go live at the Fans camp, non? And maybe not so good for Philip, who could see his position as head weirdo challenged. I'm thinking Reynold and Philip on the same tribe would not be a good thing. Anyway, we'll see how it shakes out. At any rate, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that no one will be stabbed in the night and we shouldn't have to hear anyone be called a punk-ass bitch for the next few minutes. Phew.
So backing up a bit.. what happened? Well, he woke up in a bad mood. He starts by telling everyone he wants to go home because he misses his wife & kids and feels guilty for selfishly trying to win a million dollars. (What?) He picked a fight with Philip. Which led to yelling and rage. Philip, to his credit, walked away. (Though, he did tell us that no one wants to pick a fight with the Specialist, 'cause he's got training or something or other... and actually... I kind of believe him.) Later... follow along with the pattern..... Baby feels bad. He now wants to stay in the game. He wants to compete hard for his family. He tries to make nice with Philip, who's pretty much had enough of being told to shut up and called a 'bitch'. (Or, 'punk-ass bitch' on occasion, for emphasis.) Philip calmly tells Baby that you know, this isn't really working. It's not me, it's you. You can trust me, but I just don't think I can trust you. And the kicker, "You really shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you." Meaning, I've let you into the alliance, now play along.
So Baby again sleeps on it and wakes up in an even worse mood than the day before. "I start the fire, I cook the food, and he tells me not to bite the hand that feeds me? I FEED ME!" OK, well aside from the fact that he took the phrase entirely literally, you can understand that he's a little bit frustrated with being at the bottom of the pecking order in an alliance led by Philip, who's not exactly the most normal dude himself.
Oh, also there was a reward challenge in which Baby and Philip were on deck for the Faves holding a rope that held up a net full of coconuts, which were continually adding to to make it heavier. Baby got the most coconuts at first, so let go of his rope first. Philip stayed cool and collected, actually taunting the other team until the Fans dropped both their nets (held by Michael & Matt). The Faves won a bunch of food. Yay, right? Nope, not if you're Baby Hantz. He's mad that HE didn't win it for them. "Philip's talking like he won the challenge..." Ummmm... Philip DID indeed win the challenge. I mean, Baby helped for sure, as did Brenda and Malcolm and Cochran who were throwing the coconuts for the Faves. (Aside: Did you love how they were going to sit out Cochran and he stepped up, saying, "No, I want to throw!" Yeah! I love his new confidence this season!) Anyway, Philip winning the challenge plus waking up mad about the alliance situation plus "I FEED ME" equals Baby Rage.
That's when he started yelling at Philip again. Lots more "Bitch/Punk-ass Bitch!" and then the unforgivable. He dumped out the rice and the beans on the ground. Now, let's remember that it hasn't been particularly nice out. Everyone's been rained on, out in the elements and tired and hungry. Granted, the Faves are doing much better than the Fans, who have no tarp and much less food. Still, dumping out food is only slightly below stabbing someone with a harpoon on the list of crappy things to do that'll get you voted off the island. I guess Baby figured that if he's going to go anyway, he will go out by being a complete and total selfish jerk. Then he kept repeating, "I will be the author of my fate, " or some damn thing... Again, Philip walks away rather than punch out Baby and the rest of the tribe starts trying to salvage what they can off the ground. I think it was Erik who said, "Why couldn't he just dump out ONE basket of food? Why two? It's not like he didn't make his point the first time." Which is sad and funny at the same time because it's true, but also because we're not dealing with a rational human here. He's like a 5 year-old. No, maybe five is too much. A two year-old who doesn't get his way. That's more like it, even though it does a disservice to a lot of nice two year-olds. Sorry.
So that's how the Faves decide as a group that they're going to conserve their energy and forfeit the immunity challenge. Why even compete when all they want is to go to Tribal Council and get rid of Baby? Seriously, if I'm them, I'm worried at this point that he's going to hurt someone or himself. Not even an exaggeration.
So just when you think it can't get more awkward and uncomfortable, drama unfolds at the challenge. Corinne tells my former boyfriend Jeff Probst that they want to forfeit. Then, on cue, Baby goes off. He starts telling the other tribe that Philip is bad and that he's running things and that they shouldn't let him get to the end. Jeff at some point gets Baby the heck away from the group (wise move) and gets him to stand by him instead. (Meanwhile, you know Security are just out of the camera shot...) Jeff tries to talk it out (promoting his new show, The Jeff Probst show, airing daytimes. Check your local listings.) This leads to more yelling, more rage, more "Bitch/Punk-ass Bitch!" (Honestly, I have never heard that word more in prime-time television, and I've seen The Bachelor.) Philip keeps his cool mostly but does finally lose it a bit (who wouldn't?) Remember, this is all unfolding in front of a dumbfounded Fans team. Andrea starts crying and Dawn is very emotional, as they're the two who tried the most to like Baby. (Andrea is a bit unstable as a teammate too, non? She herself caused a bunch of the rage when she told Baby that Philip was thinking of voting for him.... Dummy.)
So, in a huge first for the show, Jeff announces that we're going to have Tribal Council right now. (Legal is in his ear likely saying that it is a huge security risk to allow that insane dude to go back to camp where he might actually stab someone with a harpoon.) Brandon, who are you going to vote for? PHILIP! Everyone else, who are you going to vote for? One by one, Brandon. And so Baby is told to go wait behind a wall and Jeff will come get him while Baby walks away proclaiming, "I AM THE AUTHOR OF MY OWN ELIMINATION!" OK, buddy. Whatever.
Can we talk for a quick sec about how much Jeff loves Baby? He said it a number of times. And then with the shoulder massage? Is it like calming a dog down by petting it? Maybe Jeff knows more than I do about dealing with the Hantzes. He did ask, "Is it in the blood?" meaning "Is your family just a bunch of loud, selfish, immature losers?" Baby answered something like, "We dont' hold anything back. We say what's on our mind and I'm proud of that." Uh huh. Meaning: "I've been told that I'm special my whole life and have watched enough TV shows that have taught me that saying everything I feel is more important than common courtesy, manners or being civil and adult like a normal human." This man is a father of two. Let's all remember that.
So... yeah, some stuff happened with the Fans too. The most important being that Sherri is super annoyed that they all voted off Laura (and I did call it that yeah, she didn't want to but had to go along with the group) and then they still lost the challenge. Bah. Then, all of them looked for the immunity idol and Reynold found it AGAIN! Which, well, I love it in the sense that it makes the game more fun. I hate it that Reynold has it, 'cause he's a bit of a douchebag. Can I say that? Sure.
Next episode, it appears that they're going to merge. Which is crazy. The Faves are only up by 2 now, and wouldn't we like to continue on with these team dynamics? Apparently not. So will the Faves stay tight even in two teams? Sad for the Faves who have to go live at the Fans camp, non? And maybe not so good for Philip, who could see his position as head weirdo challenged. I'm thinking Reynold and Philip on the same tribe would not be a good thing. Anyway, we'll see how it shakes out. At any rate, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that no one will be stabbed in the night and we shouldn't have to hear anyone be called a punk-ass bitch for the next few minutes. Phew.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Getting Rid of the Biggest and Littlest, Who's Still Bigger Than a Bushman
Wow, a lot happened on yesterday's episode! We lost two more Fans... their poor little tribe is just falling apart!
Meanwhile, it's one big happy family over at the Favourites' camp. Well, that's because A) they're winning and B) they're all putting up with Philip. It's easy to be nice to everyone when you don't have to go to Tribal Council and vote them off. And honestly, for a bunch of weirdos, they seem like a pretty easy-going bunch. They don't have a 'Shamar' in their group who's getting on everyone's nerves, and even Philip - remember last time he was on and made everyone on his tribe crazy? Well, I don't know if maybe these guys are just more easygoing... or easily entertained by Philip? Or, is it that they knew what they were getting into with him so it wasn't as much of a shock? Maybe all of those things... Plus, can we talk about how Philip is actually a HUGE part of the Faves winning all of these challenges? For all his "I'm Larry Bird" talk, he is actually in pretty good shape and is quite good at things. He doesn't ever make excuses, like that he's older than most of his tribe or complain really. Yeah, he sits around with a basket on his head for air conditioning, and yeah he wears pink undies around the camp.... Oh, and then there's the Stealth R Us thing. Now everyone has been welcomed into the fold and has been given a name. Baby Hantz is "The Conqueror" and Erik is "The Silent One" and Brenda is "Serenity".... something like that. Which is funny, but is pissing off his actual alliance a bit... which is also funny. Andrea will for sure feel stupid when she watches the show and hears herself complain, "Why is Brenda getting a name? Now Erik has a name? What's going on?"
Compare and contrast with Shamar. Shamar is in the role Philip was in in his previous season - he's just getting under everyone's skin. In Shamar's case, it's not because he's wearing baskets on his head, but because he's unusually whiny for an ex-marine. He (like most bigger guys in Survivor) gets hit pretty hard with hunger issues and sleeps most of the day while everyone else works. And as we discussed last time, he's got some maybe depression issues around his service that are causing him to have a tough time fitting in with the group. Now, Shamar goes and gets sand in his eye. So natch'... everyone thinks he's just being a big baby about having a sore eye. But it turns out that yeah, it is pretty swollen and he's got some scratches on his cornea and the medics would like him to be seen by a specialist. (Philip? No, an ACTUAL specialist.) It seemed a bit fishy to me, but whatever. He got to leave without quitting... which he probably would have done anyway. At any rate he did truly feel bad about leaving his alliance-mates. But, you can imagine it's probably a nicer place to be now. Sigh.
The Fans lost two challenges yesterday too. The first was a reward challenge, where a local "Bushman" named Tata came in to show the winning tribe how to live off the land and do clever things like cook rice in bamboo and whatnot. Tata was seriously about 4 ft. tall... Brenda looked like a giant. And he spoke English, sort of, but mostly broken. Mostly he entertained the group. Something about "No bitching"... which he may or may not have said... I don't know. And he got lots of kisses from the girls, which is probably ok because his wife probably doesn't watch Survivor. Ummm...is it OK to call people "Bushmen" still? Wouldn't it have been ok to call him a local islander? Or even a tribesman? "Bushman" seems rather colonial and unsavoury to me. Discuss.
Anyway, the Fans went on to lose the immunity challenge again. Of course Reynold and Eddie made the argument that the tribe needs them to stay strong and have the chance to win challenges.... which would be a better argument if they had actually WON any challenges. But, it is a point. I guess they have a better CHANCE of winning with Eddie and Reynold than they do with say, Laura, who must weigh about 48 pounds and can't swim. Almost all the challenges have involved some sort of swimming. (And again this year, good challenges, no? Whoever has been designing the Survivor challenges in the last few seasons has really done a great job of keeping them fresh and interesting.) Laura's argument is that you should keep the alliance strong and get rid of Eddie and Reynold early, while you still can. On her side, you can see that sure, keeping Eddie & Reynold might help you in challenges, but it hasn't so far and you just don't know where the show is going to go. If there's a merge, E & R will jump ship pretty easily and vote against them to save their own butts. If it becomes an individual game, you've got 2 strong guys to beat. Right? Laura is thinking long term. Guys like Matt just want to stick around long enough to be in that position and think that they can only do that with E & R. I tend to think like Laura.
Sherri also had a good point - if Laura goes, it leaves her & Julia as the only women left. Will they be picked off next? In the end, I was surprised to see that Sherri and Julia went along with everyone and voted against Laura. In the end I think that Sherri was maybe the lone voice of reason. I feel like we don't really ever get to hear much from Julia, but that she was thinking along the same lines as Matt. Keep the team strong. The good news is that they did force Reynold to play his idol. I truly can't stand Reynold or Eddie, but maybe if I was on the tribe and we lost every challenge, I'd want them around a while too. Reynold just seems like one of those guys who drives his BMW in the bus lane, you know? They have convinced themselves that Hope was voted out "because she was pretty" not because she was part of a couples' foursome. Does a bit of disservice to Hope, non? And I feel like Eddie's just pissed off because now he can't hook up. Like maybe going on Survivor was just a way to meet a hot chick in a bikini.
So next week Baby Hantz finally loses his marbles. Hard to say what sets him off, but I'm going to guess that he's not invited into the decision-making process by the CEO/Specialist and that perhaps his name gets brought up as a vote... or maybe he just thinks that... you never know what'll set Baby off. It's that instability that should indeed get him voted the heck off.... But yeah, as with all Babies, he throws a huge hissy fit temper tantrum and dumps out the rice (not sure if there's pee involved) and wrecks a bunch of stuff... which I'm certain will be followed by a heartfelt apology and remorse. Or a vote. Either way, things are getting gooooood!
Meanwhile, it's one big happy family over at the Favourites' camp. Well, that's because A) they're winning and B) they're all putting up with Philip. It's easy to be nice to everyone when you don't have to go to Tribal Council and vote them off. And honestly, for a bunch of weirdos, they seem like a pretty easy-going bunch. They don't have a 'Shamar' in their group who's getting on everyone's nerves, and even Philip - remember last time he was on and made everyone on his tribe crazy? Well, I don't know if maybe these guys are just more easygoing... or easily entertained by Philip? Or, is it that they knew what they were getting into with him so it wasn't as much of a shock? Maybe all of those things... Plus, can we talk about how Philip is actually a HUGE part of the Faves winning all of these challenges? For all his "I'm Larry Bird" talk, he is actually in pretty good shape and is quite good at things. He doesn't ever make excuses, like that he's older than most of his tribe or complain really. Yeah, he sits around with a basket on his head for air conditioning, and yeah he wears pink undies around the camp.... Oh, and then there's the Stealth R Us thing. Now everyone has been welcomed into the fold and has been given a name. Baby Hantz is "The Conqueror" and Erik is "The Silent One" and Brenda is "Serenity".... something like that. Which is funny, but is pissing off his actual alliance a bit... which is also funny. Andrea will for sure feel stupid when she watches the show and hears herself complain, "Why is Brenda getting a name? Now Erik has a name? What's going on?"
Compare and contrast with Shamar. Shamar is in the role Philip was in in his previous season - he's just getting under everyone's skin. In Shamar's case, it's not because he's wearing baskets on his head, but because he's unusually whiny for an ex-marine. He (like most bigger guys in Survivor) gets hit pretty hard with hunger issues and sleeps most of the day while everyone else works. And as we discussed last time, he's got some maybe depression issues around his service that are causing him to have a tough time fitting in with the group. Now, Shamar goes and gets sand in his eye. So natch'... everyone thinks he's just being a big baby about having a sore eye. But it turns out that yeah, it is pretty swollen and he's got some scratches on his cornea and the medics would like him to be seen by a specialist. (Philip? No, an ACTUAL specialist.) It seemed a bit fishy to me, but whatever. He got to leave without quitting... which he probably would have done anyway. At any rate he did truly feel bad about leaving his alliance-mates. But, you can imagine it's probably a nicer place to be now. Sigh.
The Fans lost two challenges yesterday too. The first was a reward challenge, where a local "Bushman" named Tata came in to show the winning tribe how to live off the land and do clever things like cook rice in bamboo and whatnot. Tata was seriously about 4 ft. tall... Brenda looked like a giant. And he spoke English, sort of, but mostly broken. Mostly he entertained the group. Something about "No bitching"... which he may or may not have said... I don't know. And he got lots of kisses from the girls, which is probably ok because his wife probably doesn't watch Survivor. Ummm...is it OK to call people "Bushmen" still? Wouldn't it have been ok to call him a local islander? Or even a tribesman? "Bushman" seems rather colonial and unsavoury to me. Discuss.
Anyway, the Fans went on to lose the immunity challenge again. Of course Reynold and Eddie made the argument that the tribe needs them to stay strong and have the chance to win challenges.... which would be a better argument if they had actually WON any challenges. But, it is a point. I guess they have a better CHANCE of winning with Eddie and Reynold than they do with say, Laura, who must weigh about 48 pounds and can't swim. Almost all the challenges have involved some sort of swimming. (And again this year, good challenges, no? Whoever has been designing the Survivor challenges in the last few seasons has really done a great job of keeping them fresh and interesting.) Laura's argument is that you should keep the alliance strong and get rid of Eddie and Reynold early, while you still can. On her side, you can see that sure, keeping Eddie & Reynold might help you in challenges, but it hasn't so far and you just don't know where the show is going to go. If there's a merge, E & R will jump ship pretty easily and vote against them to save their own butts. If it becomes an individual game, you've got 2 strong guys to beat. Right? Laura is thinking long term. Guys like Matt just want to stick around long enough to be in that position and think that they can only do that with E & R. I tend to think like Laura.
Sherri also had a good point - if Laura goes, it leaves her & Julia as the only women left. Will they be picked off next? In the end, I was surprised to see that Sherri and Julia went along with everyone and voted against Laura. In the end I think that Sherri was maybe the lone voice of reason. I feel like we don't really ever get to hear much from Julia, but that she was thinking along the same lines as Matt. Keep the team strong. The good news is that they did force Reynold to play his idol. I truly can't stand Reynold or Eddie, but maybe if I was on the tribe and we lost every challenge, I'd want them around a while too. Reynold just seems like one of those guys who drives his BMW in the bus lane, you know? They have convinced themselves that Hope was voted out "because she was pretty" not because she was part of a couples' foursome. Does a bit of disservice to Hope, non? And I feel like Eddie's just pissed off because now he can't hook up. Like maybe going on Survivor was just a way to meet a hot chick in a bikini.
So next week Baby Hantz finally loses his marbles. Hard to say what sets him off, but I'm going to guess that he's not invited into the decision-making process by the CEO/Specialist and that perhaps his name gets brought up as a vote... or maybe he just thinks that... you never know what'll set Baby off. It's that instability that should indeed get him voted the heck off.... But yeah, as with all Babies, he throws a huge hissy fit temper tantrum and dumps out the rice (not sure if there's pee involved) and wrecks a bunch of stuff... which I'm certain will be followed by a heartfelt apology and remorse. Or a vote. Either way, things are getting gooooood!
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