NAT!

Oh yes she did!  Natalie is the winner of Blood vs. Water - season 29. I'd like to say I called it, but I don't think I did. I actually thought it would be Jeremy or Josh for sure, until of course, they were voted out. It was the way Natalie handled Jeremy's voting out that made me think maybe she's got a good chance. Calm, cool, collected - rolling with the change and formulated a new plan that included both revenge for her sister, for Jeremy and a million dollar cheque for herself. And it was well-executed. As someone who has actually watched the show before (ummmm... Keith, take note), Natalie knew that the jury would respect big moves and good game play. The thing is - a lot of people - the Russells and the Tonys - think that that's ALL you have to do. You have to time those big moves right so they don't bite you in the ass later. And you have to have a good social game so that the people you voted out not only respect you for game-play but also for being a human. This is where Missy lost out. Reed called it (more on that in a bit.)

I thought Natalie had lost a couple of times. First Keith - that sneaky ol' spitter - won the reward challenge which gave him an advantage (practice) at the immunity challenge, which he then won as well. It looked like Jaclyn was going to go home with Missy, Baylor and Natalie being tight. But our Nat is a smarty pants. She played her immunity idol for Jaclyn, saying to Jaclyn, "Did you vote for who I told you to vote for?" (which she later says she doesn't remember doing, but uh, that's a totally wicked move in itself that tells the Jury that only Natalie is in charge of this particular big move.) Jaclyn and Natalie vote for Baylor, who likes Nat so much that she just praises her for the good move. Even Missy's not too mad and they hug it out back at camp. Natalie knows that putting one of them on the jury makes sense - they're dangerous together, they're a good story together and neither one of them is going to vote for her anyway on the jury because they'll vote for each other. So it's not like you're going to lose a jury vote by turning on your bestie. Brilliant.

Then it looked like Nat would lose when Jaclyn staged an amazing come-from-behind victory in the final immunity challenge that looked like it was a race between Nat and Keith only. Never underestimate the power of the puzzle to be a place to catch up at challenges. Jaclyn, you'd think, would take Nat to the end because she'd saved her butt the night before. But Jaclyn's pretty smart and she knows that Nat is a pretty wiley competitor. But Natalie convinces her that Keith is actually the biggest threat and he gets the boot.

Seriously, though, what a run from a guy who really didn't look like he's make it past day 3. Overall, I think I liked Mr. Duck Dynasty a bit more than I didn't like him. The spitting made me laugh (Jeff even asked his wife about this later - and yeah, she said he pretty much does that all the time.) Keith earned a lot of respect and as it turned out (as revealed at the reunion show) would have won at the end had Nat been voted out instead of him.

So, Jaclyn, Missy and Nat were our all-female final three. What I liked was that even though I thought Natalie had played the best game & deserved the win - it didn't look that cut and dry. It was hard to say whether the loyal mom card Missy was playing was working or not, and there seemed to be a fair amount of respect for Jaclyn's honesty. All three ladies were strong, had compelling stories and really, had a good chance.

It was a bit of a dull jury Q&A, though, right? I mean, there were no really interesting questions. Some congrats and a couple of "What was your biggest move that you did by yourself" questions (especially for Jaclyn, which is a bit insulting sort of, in that everyone assumes that Jon had to be the brains behind all their decisions... and then we can talk about whether it's a detriment to play as a couple - after all, Natalie played the whole game without her Twinnie and won). The most interesting comments came from Jeremy - who told the jury to vote for Natalie (YES!) and from Reed, who called Missy a wicked stepmother because of the way she treated people outside of her alliance while at the same time trying to play supermom. Truly, I think Reed called it and in the reunion show I LOVED that he didn't apologize. He did say that his comments should be taken in the context of the game only and that he's sure that Missy's a perfectly nice person in real life. Of course it made Baylor cry - that girl could stand to toughen up a smidge. (Uh, that's what happens when your mom defends you every time you hit a speedbump.)

The reunion shows are also pissing me off lately. They're spending way too much time chatting with people in the audience and not with the Survivors. With the exception of a couple of quick chats with the families (we chatted with Keith's wife, but not with Natalie's/Nadia's parents? Ummm... what?) and also I enjoyed the little boy who designed a challenge through the Children's Wish Foundation. Otherwise, get out of the audience!  Jeff didn't talk to many of the Survivors at all. Nothing from Nadia. Nothing from dad & daughter Kelly & Dale. Nothing from awesome Val on awesome Jeremy making it to the jury. Nothing from Drew on being a dumbass and throwing that challenge. Not surprisingly, nothing from Julie on quitting. I think that one is good. Quitters shouldn't get any screeen time. The rest, though, deserved a bit more.

Now, on to February and the next installment: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar!  Ha!  Brilliant work, Survivor producers. I'm in. Like I wouldn't be anyways, but very much enjoy that they're doing something new for the 30th season. Bring it on.

The Twinnie and Duck Dynasty Outwit Captain America

My Natalie just keeps on rolling. Can we agree that she's awesome? She's winning challenges, she's outwitting her competitors, and she told off John Rocker. Sigh...

She also deserves an Oscar (well, an Emmy at least? Golden Globe?) for her performance when she got back to camp after Alec got voted out. Whoops! I totally thought I was supposed to vote for Alec! Sorry guys, geez, I totally screwed that one up. You guys really should have talked to me a bit more. Heh heh. And from the beginning, Jaclyn, with her spot-on women's intuition, was suspicious. Jon, however, was not. Jon totally trusted his solid five alliance because Natalie has been careful to slowly build trust with him and to not play her hand too quickly. Had she tried to get Jon out right after Jeremy was voted out, she'd have gone shortly thereafter. Instead, she just outwardly shrugged off Jeremy's ousting and inwardly plotted her revenge. Delightful.

Also, Keith seems to have some respect for Natalie and Natalie seems to know how to talk to Keith. So when she told him how to play it at Tribal Council, he listened for a change and didn't ruin the plan.

Keith's a bit of an enigma, non? Are you the same as me where you love him and hate him depending on the show? The one where he & Josh went to Exile together? Love. The one where he was hanging out with Wes & Alec and being awful to Baylor? Hate. Where he beat all the young whippersnappers to win immunity? Love. All the spitting? Ummmm... love and hate. Being such a gentleman and helping Missy everywhere after she hurt her ankle? Love. Screwing up Reed's and Jeremy's plans entirely? Hate. Getting a spa day with Missy and Baylor? Yeah, kind of loved it, even though he kept talking about how 'girly' it was and how the 'guys back home' wouldn't approve. Still, hearing him say a few times, "I don't know what spa food is, but it's pretty good!" and then being excited that there were "goobers" on the plate (peanuts?) Yeah, Keith is pretty amazing. And have you noticed he's the last dude standing? First of all, yay ladies! Second of all, I would NOT have seen that one coming.

While Keith, Missy & Baylor were at the spa and Natalie went to exile, Jon & Jaclyn got to spend some 'couple time' together. Jaclyn still tried to convince Jon that maaaaaaybe the alliance of five wasn't as solid as he thinks and maaaaaaybe they should be worried that the others would try to get him out. Nope, says Jon. We're good.

So, Jon went home with an idol in his pocket. We knew he wasn't going to make it as soon as he started feeling cocky, right? Now we're down to five: Natalie, Keith, Missy, Baylor & Jaclyn. You know I'm rooting for Natalie. She's great at the challenges, but Keith and Baylor aren't slouches. Missy and Jaclyn are no competition in this regard. Missy probably will not be able to compete at all with a broken foot (but, uh, really wouldn't be a threat even with two good feet.)

Our jury is all men at the moment: Jeremy, Josh, Reed, Alec, Wes & Jon. None of them like Baylor, so she's going to be a great person to take to the final three. Jaclyn also. She automatically gets a vote from Jon, but does anyone else think she deserves it or do they all think Jon made all the moves? (I actually think Jaclyn got them further in the game than they would have with Jon making the decisions alone, but I think the dudes will all give Jon the 'credit' so to speak.) Missy's a tougher one to peg. It would be great to go to a final with Missy and Baylor because the one can't vote for the other one, and also one cancels the other one out. Also, I'm not sure how well Missy did with the social game. It didn't SEEM like she was super well-liked ('Are you calling my kid a BRAT?') but she sort of was at the same time. Jeremy, Reed & Jon all had alliances with her and she'll have garnered some respect for sticking in the game despite the broken foot. She made good alliances and played some good moves, but did she come up with any plans on her own? And, she sucked at challenges. Keith - again - is the dark horse to win this thing. One - he's a dude. Sometimes the dudes will just vote with the dudes. He's got Wes's vote, obviously, and probably Alec's. Jeremy and Jon weren't big fans. Josh and Reed are huge fans of the Game of Survivor, so wouldn't likely give their vote to someone who clearly didn't make any moves on his own. Keith got to the final five by sheer luck and a bit of talent at challenges. Natalie is the one who should win this thing if the jury is going to respect pure game-play, camp life, sociability and challenge prowess. Right? She's the total package. Now she just has to get there and as we've seen in past seasons, the ones who should win on paper don't always make it in the final days (I'm talking to you, Malcolm!) If I'm Natalie, I'd take Baylor and Missy to the final with me. Go Nat! (Ummm... wouldn't it also be fun if one twinnie was voted out first, but the other twinnie made it all the way to the end? That would just be cool, right?)

Would love to hear if you agree or disagree. Is anyone reading this thing? 

Season finale is next Wednesday. Don't miss it!

What Happens When Your Main Ally Has a Brain the Size of a Walnut

Those Duck Dynasty fellas make Alec look like a rocket scientist. For those two of you who are still reading this, you might know I've been referring to Alec as a mimbo. He's pretty, but not super bright. But honestly, Alec looks like a damn brainiac next to these two. Hoo boy. Then can we discuss how Keith spits constantly? Like, every time the camera is on him, he's spitting. Wes's thing is that he can't keep his tongue in his mouth. Have you noticed?

OK, so we'll get back to those yokels in a bit. First... Natalie. I was super impressed with how well she handled her bestie, Jeremy, getting blindsided. She stayed super calm and assured her alliance that she was still with them (even though she also said privately that she'd like to give Jon a taste of his own medicine.) That's where a lot of Survivors lose it - someone in their alliance gets voted out and they react emotionally, often flipping sides themselves & it bites them later. Natalie is smart. (Interestingly, I read that Jeremy thought that Natalie was part of the blindside and didn't find out 'til much later that she wasn't. Apparently she mouthed "I'm sorry" when he got voted out and he took that to mean that she was in on it.) Also, while some were at the reward (where 4 Survivors got to go be "Survivor Ambassadors" by giving out baseball gear to Nicaraguan kids. Fun, except for the part where the Survivors get to watch the baseball game while eating a bunch of food, that none of the other kids watching the game got to eat. Jon did give  one kid a bite of his ice cream, though. Gee, thanks.  Also, only the boys got to get baseball gear and play. The girls had to sit and watch and not eat food. Anyways... where was I?) Right. While some were at the reward, Natalie searched for the 3rd hidden immunity idol and found it! She was with Baylor, so her alliance knows about it.

The immunity challenge was a classic endurance challenge where Jeff brings out food rewards to try to tempt people off their ledge. Now, I like to think I would never give up in a challenge, but I've probably also never been as hungry as these guys so I try not to judge. But, candy? Come on. Jon stepped down first for candy. That's not even sustenance. I mean, Wes stepping down for a plate of wings and 2 beers, that makes some sense. (Though, probably less so when he got voted out.) Natalie stuck it out with Reed for over 3 hours before she decided she was going to slip up before he was. Wisely again, she asked Jeff if she could have wings, beer and a cookie to step down. Win! 

Then it gets slightly complicated and funny.

Reed has immunity.
Reed comes up with a plan where he, Alec, Keith and Wes vote for Jon.
Meanwhile he'll convince the Jon alliance that he and Alec are voting with them. Tells them that Wes & Keith are planning to play Keith's idol and that they should split the vote between Wes & Keith.
Notes that Keith doesn't have much smarts when it comes to the game.
Keith notes that Reed does have good game smarts... with the "math and stuff".
Everything looks good, right?
Tribal Council:
Reed continues to sell his story by saying that everyone's suspicious of Keith & Wes having an idol.
Remember - Reed's on Keith & Wes's side, but has to LOOK like he's on Jon's side.
Keith COMPLETELY FORGETS THIS and looks straight at Reed and says, "Well, I think we should just stick with the plan." Thus, selling out his alliance member, Reed, as a traitor.
Reed completely is dumbfounded. Cannot believe Keith is so dumb.
ALEC cannot believe Keith is so dumb. ALEC!!
Chaos ensues. Everyone starts talking about what plan to 'stick with'.
Natalie tells Jon he'd better play his idol. (Again, she's so smart!)
Jon plays his idol, thwarting Reed's plan.
Keith also plays his idol. Half-assed offers it to Wes, who doesn't take it.
Wes gets voted out.
Wes, bless him, is happy he got to play with his dad and probably even happier that he gets to go eat and then sit with his tongue hanging out.
Reed probably better continue winning challenges and stop allying himself with folks whose IQ is about the same as a duck's.

Another Good Guy Gone!

OK... ummm... so first of all, sorry I've been away so long. Is anyone still reading this? Let me know!

And second... I just wrote this whole thing, and then Blogger kicked me out without saving any of it, so I'm writing mad and now this post will probably be short. Sigh.

Right.  So we're down to the final bunch. The two leaders, Josh & Jeremy are the first jury members. Wasn't a surprise when Josh got taken down, but Jeremy? Didn't think his alliance would turn on him so quickly. Was it a smart move on their part? Yep. Do I like it? Nope. Does that make for good TV? Sure does.

What happened is that Jon & Jaclyn voted with Jeremy's alliance group to vote out Josh. To say thanks, Jeremy & Natalie gave up their spots in the reward when they won the challenge. Nice, yes, but also hoping that it's going to cement the love with Jon & Jaclyn. BUT, then they send Jeremy to Exile because he wants to go look for the immunity idol. Which, of course, he doesn't find because Jon already has it. Rather than fess up to Jeremy, Jon figures he should just vote him out now and goes to Missy & Baylor with the plan. Reed, who's desperate now to just stay in the game, pledges his support and the plan is hatched. Jeremy's out.

This will leave Natalie in a dangerous, but potentially good spot. She could be a swing vote, depending which side Reed sits on. Is Reed going to stick with Missy & Baylor (probably) or with the dudes? If the 2 couple alliance is smart, they'll try to vote out one of the other 'couple' - Wes  or Keith - before Natalie. Keith has an idol, which is dangerous... and makes for a trickier vote, but still can be done, especially if they use Natalie and don't just see her as an easy vote.

I've softened towards Baylor lately - given how badly she was treated by the Duck Dynasty boys and Alec, the mimbo, and how solidly she handled it. She did not engage & showed way more maturity than they were showing, that's for sure. Still, do I really want her or Missy to win? Not really. Though, I've got to give kudos where they're due - Missy's playing a pretty good game.

Jon & Jaclyn are somehow owning the game, but does anyone else find them a bit annoying? I don't really know why. I just do. And, I'm not certain that they're making any friends as they go.

How is Alec still in this game at all? Discuss.

So.. with my favourite two gone already, I'm left to cheer for their partners in crime - Natalie and Reed.

In Jeremy's own parting words, "They voted out one of the good guys." So true.

Josh & Jeremy for the next all-stars for sure?  Yeah!

Orange is the New Orange

The tribe shake-up!  Always fun. This one ended up with three pairs on one team (Dale & Kelley, Jaclyn & Jon, and Baylor & Missy) plus ol' Keith. That's the new orange. The new blue team features only one pair (Josh & Reed) plus a bunch of singletons: Jeremy, Natalie, Wes, Julie & Alec.

ORANGE is the new... ORANGE.

Kelley's not super pleased to be on the same team as her dad, who she's found out doesn't get along with Missy & Baylor. (Which makes me like Dale a bit more, actually. I think I'd have a pretty tough time getting along with Missy & Baylor.) Missy's going through rice like no one's business, which means the blue team has almost none while the orange team is still good... until Missy joins them and starts cooking double the amount... making Dale mad, understandably. Meanwhile, Jaclyn and Jon need to get a room. Lots of kissing & hugging, which seems to horrify Baylor until she's asked about it - when all of a sudden it's "super cute!"

So you'd think Keith would be in trouble - and he still might be down the road - but mainly the couples are looking to weaken another couple. Jon & Jaclyn find themselves in the middle of the two pairs who don't like each other and Keith will go with the majority.

BLUE and Brawny.

The blue team is definitely the fitter of the two teams. More dudes, all younger people. Jeremy off the bat sees Josh & Reed as a threat (did he read my blog?) because potentially Reed could now flip and work with Josh, Wes and Alec, leaving Jeremy, Natalie and Julie in the smaller set of numbers. Likely the blue team will just keep winning, but if not, expect Jeremy to try to make a move. I love that he and Natalie have decided that they will try to work Alec by appealing to his ego - telling him stuff like how he's so much stronger than Drew, etc. Heh. Jeremy calls it the "Surround and Drown" maneuver (from firefighting, when the firefighters can no longer go into a building to fight a big fire, so they just surround the building and try to drown it out with water.)  Natalie and Jeremy are going to just keep surrounding Alec and drowning him with seeds of doubt about any of the pairs, and especially Josh & Reed. Love it.

Of course the blue team won immunity, so the orange guys had to go to Tribal. I was surprised a bit that J & J chose team Missy/Baylor over team Dale/Kelley, but overall it's probably a smarter move. Dale and Kelley are generally well-liked and smarter. They are bigger threats in the game than Missy and Baylor (aside: I keep typing "Baby" instead of "Baylor" making me want to just call her Baby. Is that OK? I feel the keyboard is trying to tell me something.) So, they got rid of Kelley. Sad for her, because she'd have been fine and probably would have gotten far in the game had the tribes not switched up. However, that's how it goes. I did find it a bit off-putting to hear her say how she wishes she hadn't had to play on the same team as her dad, though. I mean, I get that it was a detriment in this game, but at the end of the day, isn't it cool to get to play Survivor with your dad? Isn't that how you got on the show in the first place? Bah.

The only other thing to note is that the blue team once again is trying to negotiate with my boyfriend, Jeff, because they're now so low on food. Jeff is going to bring them some food next episode, but "the price will be high!"  (Cue suspenseful music). What's it going to be? I think they'll have to go to Tribal in exchange, or at least get a huge disadvantage in the challenge given their relative strength.

What Happens When You're (Not) a Good Thrower

OH, so good. Our resident #1 mimbo, Drew, got voted out after making a series of crucial Survivor mistakes.

1) Referring to oneself using any of the following words/phrases: Kingpin, Boss, Without Me These People Would Be Nothing, The Best, Running This Show, etc. If anyone has ever watched Survivor EVER, they'd know that the minute someone thinks they are running the show, they are the ones to get voted out. See Sarah the cop from last season, and many others. The one notable exception being Boston Rob, but it took him four tries to ACTUALLY be able to run the show.

2) Throwing a challenge. This is never ever a good idea. For one, it shows that you are super cocky and too comfortable. (See point #1). Having your own tribe go to Tribal Council is never good. You can always, always be the one to go home. If the other tribe goes, not only do you automatically get three more days, but the other guys are a smaller group come the merge (which, incidentally is going to happen next episode. The blue guys will still be the bigger group, but now with loved ones in the mix, you never know how that'll shake out.)

3) Not being willing to negotiate.  Drew was dead set on Kelley going home over anyone else. Wouldn't listen to anyone else in his alliance. Jeremy wanted Keith out because Keith announced to everyone that Jeremy must have an immunity idol because he couldn't find it. This was dumb. First of all, he later did find the idol.  Second, he made a huge enemy out of one of his biggest allies. There was that whole firefighter bond. He should have gone to Jeremy first to ask him if he had an idol, but couldn't quite figure that out. Anyway, back to Drew. Wouldn't listen to Jeremy. Wouldn't listen to his buddy Jon, who said that Julie should go. Nope. Had to be Kelley. His way or the highway.

4) Seeing threats where there are none. Drew was so against Kelley that he tried to tell the dudes that there was a girl alliance...which there was not. There are only 4 girls and what... 5 guys? So, they did not have the numbers to vote as a block. Then again, the more you talk about it, and the more you notice that none of the men can agree on anything, the more a girl alliance looks like a great idea. Thanks for the idea, Drew! Basically, he gave the girls the idea on how to vote himself out.

5) Talking about who you're going to vote off right in front of them. At one point, Drew stands there talking about how much he wants to vote off Kelley, while Kelley is standing about 10 feet away. And yet, no one notices this fact, making Drew a lovely target for the girls.

6) Basically being a useless schlub. Aside from being physically strong, Drew had no redeeming qualities. Possible exception is if you're another kinda dumb dude like Jon (who, for the record, is not as dumb as Drew, and how could you not like Jon last night when he beat his girlfriend Jaclyn in a challenge (barely) and then said how he's not worried about her at Exile because she's so strong?) Anyway, aside from Jon who kinda thinks Drew is cool, Drew does nothing for anyone else. He doesn't pull his weight at camp, he isn't nice really to the gals, and he's a bit of a whiny baby about not having enough food. (At one point, they found the first "lost" flint and then Drew tried to negotiate again with Jeff, who basically laughed at him. Drew tells everyone that at least he "had the balls" to ask. Should that be another point: Telling your teammates you have balls and they don't?) So with no redeeming qualities except winning challenges, you'd better ummm... win a challenge. Drew threw the challenge, so now all he's accomplished is making his teammates think, oh well, now he's got nothin' to offer.

So, Drew pretty much dug his own Survivor grave. Over on the other tribe, his brother Alec isn't doing much for himself either. He bosses Baylor around telling  her to "not half-ass it" when she does stuff like clean a pot. Oy. New respect for Baylor for biting her tongue and not telling him to shove it.  Not sure I could do it.

With the merge coming up, the pairs will be targets first, and the clever pairs will ally themselves with other pairs, forming a voting block. Romance pairs are more dangerous than blood pairs, so they should (in theory) be picked off first. Jon & Jaclyn, Reed & Josh. If it was me, I'd get rid of either Reed or Josh first because they're stronger and people like them. Other pairs still in are Wes & Keith, Dale & Kelley, Missy & Baylor. Singles are Jeremy, Julie, Natalie & Alec. Makes sense for Jeremy, Julie & Natalie to stick together. Alec could be in trouble or if he's smart (doubtful), he makes  himself a bit of a swing vote somewhere. Also interesting will be that Dale doesn't have much allegiance to his original tribe so will likely join an alliance with Kelley and some original blue members. So exciting. Much can happen.

If You Were a Man, I'd Vote You Out! Let's Fight!

Episode 3 and the focus is still on a handful of characters: Jeremy, Baseball John, Josh, Baylor, Natalie. We don't get to hear a lot from folks like Dale, or Missy, or Alec. Kelly and Jaclyn are essentially this season's mute blondes that we don't hear anything from at all.

Drew continues his quest to be the most awesome mimbo ever. He gets a big idea in his head that the rains are coming and his tribe should get to work fixing up the roof of their shelter... which actually is a good idea. But then he gives up weaving palm fronds after about a minute and lies down for a nap, while everyone else works. Seems Drew is in for a career in politics? Perhaps. And scenes from next week look like Drew continues on his rampage... cannot wait!   I hope he stays around for a while, just for the comedy factor.

The other best part of the night was that Keith had to go to Exile after Wes beat him in a challenge. After the loss, Keith got all emotional and said how proud he was of Wes, causing Wes to then tear up when Jeff asked him if this kind of emotion was normal back home. Nope. Such good TV, right? That's why this Blood vs. Water thing works. Then, Wes sent Josh to Exile with his dad because, "I click with Josh, so I think my dad will too." And they did. Duck Dynasty and the gay Broadway performer got along great, though Keith noted, "There won't be any spooning going on tonight." Ha! Again - why Survivor is great, right? Two people, so different, but finding common ground.

The big story, though, was that huge drama happened around Baseball John. Baseball John has trouble finding common ground with anyone. First, he pissed off Jeremy (as predicted) when Jeremy found out about Val getting voted off. John hadn't bothered telling anyone on his team about his deal with Jeremy, but then goes ahead and announces it in front of everyone at the reward challenge. That kind of stuff doesn't sit very well with your teammates. On the blue team, Jeremy went ahead and told everyone about John's past indiscretions. The racist stuff especially got to Natalie. Poor Julie, who you can't help feeling a bit sorry for - just left and went off and cried by herself. Now, I haven't heard Julie actually defending her boyfriend to her teammates. That's the weird thing. Remember when everyone hated Brad Colpepper and his wife Monica was taking heat for what her hubby was up to? Monica stood up for Brad and told her teammates that he's just playing the game -  here's what he's really like... I wonder if Julie's doing any of this and we're just not seeing it? Or is she not bothering to defend him because she knows he's kind of, well... a dick? Discuss. I felt a little less sorry for her when she said something about how surprised she was that Survivor was this difficult and that she didn't think her bf would get her in so much trouble!  Seriously?

At the immunity challenge, things got heated right up. The blue tribe won (again) and Natalie started beaking off at the orange team that they should vote off John because he's a horrible racist. The team stands up for John and tells John to just ignore her. Instead, he opens his mouth. Says that if Natalie was a man, he'd knock her (his?) teeth out. Then says, clear everything away and let's fight!  Seriously. John Rocker has anger issues. Possibly women issues. Violence issues? Check. I'm not saying Natalie was particularly awesome for opening her mouth either, but she would have ended up looking like the crazy one if he would have just not taken the bait. But, he did. And you have to wonder how he deals with people in real life if he loses his temper at a girl that quickly on national TV. What happens when Julie pisses him off? If I'm Julie, I'm getting a bit concerned. Hopfully Julie is getting a bit concerned. Right?

So John's plan is to tell the girls to vote for Dale, but then vote for Baylor with the all-dude alliance. Everyone goes along and John thinks  his plan is solid. Josh, however, decides that John is too much of a wild card, given his secret plans with Val/Jeremy, and together with Baylor, Jaclyn, Wes and I think Alec vote off John instead. They kept it so hush-hush that John did not even consider playing his immunity idol. Jaclyn almost blew it by saying that she thought that different plans were going down (she speaks!) but why would he believe a girl? Pffft.  Oddly, no one thought to tell Dale, which makes me wonder why the dudes think they can't trust him?  Dale should be worried and should hope he makes it to the merge.

In other news, here's a fun article from 2008 that I have only just stumbled across about the behind-the-scenes stuff that goes on filming the show. It's pretty interesting - you likely know lots of it already, but it's a fun read:

http://www.today.com/id/26726792/ns/today-today_entertainment/t/last-secrets-survivor-revealed/

Beat By a Girl!

Sorry for the late blog post. I'll do better this week, promise!  In the meantime, I'll keep this one short. Here's what you need to know if you're following along:

1) Jon & Drew from the blue tribe are Mimbos. Yup. They do push-ups and say 'Dude!' a lot. Jon lost his team's flint, admitted it and apologized, but people are pissed! Later, when they won a reward (thanks to Julie, who beat her hubby Baseball John) of fishing gear, they had to trade it for a flint... making people even more pissed that they now won a reward of something they already had. In addition, the absolute best part of the show was when - during the immunity challenge - couple Josh and Reid were fighting each other (it was that one where they have to push each other off a platform into the water using a... what do you call it? Like a pillow, but not soft?) and then Drew yells out, "Go Josh!" prompting one of his teammates to say, "Reed is the one who's on our team!" Heh. Possibly Reed needs to join in and do more push-ups for Drew to notice him. How do guys like this live? Watch... he'll probably win. These guys are great to keep around because they'll generally not think for themselves.

2) Baseball John seems to be a bit of a schmuck. He's got that whole reputation of saying racist/bigoted things in the media when he was a player, and these Survivors are now spreading that around. No hiding for Baseball John now. Oh, then there's when his wife beat him in the reward challenge and instead of kind of being proud of her, he grumps, "The worst part is that I got beat by a girl." Ugh. Thank god she didn't have to go home with him and endure the pouting.

3) Baseball John ends up going to Exile Island with Jeremy, who's well aware of Baseball John's past. He doesn't say anything about it and tries to work with him, telling him that he'll protect Julie if John will protect Val. Seems like a good plan (though, why do wives need saving, exactly? Discuss.). To prove his point, Jeremy shares the hidden immunity idol clue. Baseball John goes back to camp and finds it. Doesn't tell Val, who's bluffing to everyone that she has one already, and stretches it to two once John is back.

4) Baylor. I find her super annoying. Anyone else? Her mom split her lip in the fighting challenge and Baylor ugly-cried about it - causing her mom to lose the challenge. At best, she's a baby - at worst, she's super conniving and played her mom. Either way. Annoying.

5) Dale. I like Dale. It was touching to watch Dale not be able to watch his daughter in the challenge because it was her birthday and he wanted to cheer for her, but she was on the other team.

6) The bluffing doesn't work, and the tribe splits the vote between Baylor and Val. When it goes to a re-vote, Val gets voted out. Even Baseball John votes for her because he's mad at her that she didn't play her idol like he told her to. Obviously, Val didn't really trust John with the information that she didn't have an idol, and John didn't fully try very hard to help her. Now he's worried that Jeremy's going to think that he didn't try to help her.. uh, which would be correct.

7) Next time it looks like there's going to be lots and lots of Baseball John drama in which he tries to throw down with someone. Hopefully he gets beaten by a girl again.

Dog Years > Amazing Race

A new season of Blood vs. Water (prompting the husband to say, "If it's families, why isn't it Blood vs. Blood?" A good question. Because it doesn't sound as good.) Not unusually, I'm enjoying the season so far. Blood vs. Water is a good concept, which obviously is why they brought it back. The differing dynamics between the tribes, but also between different 'types' of Blood: husbands & wives, partners, siblings, parents & children. Siblings can tend to have more rivalry where husbands & wives, say, are more protective of each other - and will share the winnings.

This season has the usual bunch of good-looking-folks-in-their-underwear, but also seem to be a stronger bunch than normal. That is, there doesn't seem to be the usual few physically weak members. There's not a lot of 'old' either. Our oldest dads & moms are probably in their 50's. (Which, by the way, IS old in Survivor years. It's like dog-years. The further past 25 you are, you should multiply it by about 7 to get your 'actual Survivor age'.) Poor ol' Dale - I just looked him up & he is indeed our oldest Survivor this season at 55 (so in Survivor years, he's like 385.). Dale was feeling pretty out of the pack 'til he 'proved his worth' by using his own glasses - breaking them! - to start a fire for his tribe. That bought him a minute or two. Dale had better get to work.

So at the beginning, my boyfriend Jeff Probst did the usual thing and split the group into two tribes by having them pick buffs out of a thingy (whatever it was... I don't know... hat? Coconut? Basket?) Then they were miraculously on a team with other people wearing the same colours as them. Ugh. Why don't they just say, "You guys who were instructed to wear blue, go stand over there."

Anyway, the blue team had to pick someone to complete a reward challenge. Jeremy - a firefighter from Boston - volunteered. Jeff tells him that he'll be competing against his wife, Val - a cop with the cutest voice ever. (I'm unsure how say, a bank robber could take her very seriously when she says, "Put down the gun!" and she sounds, like, 10. I digress.) Jeremy won the challenge, getting flint and beans for his team. Val had to go to Exile Island. Jeremy then had to pick someone from his own team to go with her. He chose the other "old guy", Keith (53, by the way, or 371). He told Keith to "look after Val."  Val, rightly so, said, "I don't need no looking after!" Thank you, Val! I liked Val, right away.

On Exile, Val & Keith both had to pick a (again, what? Jar? Pot? Basket?) with a note in it. Keith's note was blank. Val's had a clue to an idol, back at camp. She never found it, this episode anyway.

Back at camps, most people got along ok. None of the usual thing where one person is super annoying. One of the surfer dude brothers - Drew I think - came pretty close, going on and on about how awesome he was at building the shelter, prompting some major eye-rolls, but nothing too bad yet. Drew is a male model. 'Nuff said? (Mer-MAN! Anyone?) John - who is a former Major League Baseball star - is, of course, trying to hide his identity, but Keith's kid, Wes has figured him out. Instead of bonding, it caused John to think about trying to potentially get rid of Wes. Poor kid. Meanwhile, Jeremy has alliances with pretty much everyone on his team.

Same goes for Josh on the other team. He fits in with the guys and the girls.  Is it because he's gay or maybe just because he's nice? I tend to think the latter, but Nadiya - one half of a Sri Lankan set of twins (yay, diversity?) who have been on the Amazing Race (twice?) kept going on and on about how she counts Josh in with the girls... which actually didn't sit very well with Josh. Josh gets along well (or so we think) with Baylor, the daughter half of a mom-daughter duo. By the way, one of my fave quotes was when Missy, Baylor's mom, says that 'because of her three (four?) divorces," she's learned to see if people are genuine or something like that, and has learned to trust her gut. Ummm... maybe that gut of yours isn't working out so well if there have been four (five?) divorces. Just sayin'.

Turns out the non-blue team (what are they supposed to be, orange?) lost the immunity challenge. Josh was in the middle of an all-boy alliance and an all-girl alliance. The fellas wanted to get rid of Nadiya - basically because she's been on the Amazing Race and they figure she has too much experience & knows strategy. The gals want to get rid of Dale - basically because he's 385. Josh was on the fence, seemingly, but in the end may have been tipped toward Nadiya when she went on again about how  he's "one of the girls." Cleverly, he actually voted for Baylor, while she voted against the girls and voted Nadiya. Now, not sure if she was in on this plan entirely - I think not.

Here's what I think. Because he's close to Baylor, he tells her that he's decided to vote for Nadiya, so she should too. She goes along. Knowing he's got the Nadiya vote sewn up, he votes Baylor to make her think that one of the girls is against her. Sewing the seeds of chaos, non? Puts her even more in need of him and on his side, and less likely to turn to the girls. Kind of brilliant if that's the case, right?

So only one Sri Lankan twin left, which as we talked about last time, can actually be a blessing. On one hand, you don't have that for sure alliance come the merge. On the other hand, you're not targeted because you don't have that for sure alliance come the merge. You can link yourself to other alliances and be the extra vote people need. It's not a bad place to be. Plus, sometimes your 'Blood' gets you in trouble (see Gervais from last time... or Brad Colpepper...).

In a fun clip montage of future scenes, it looks like someone's going to quit the show and there's going to be tons of the requisite backstabbing and blindsiding. Fun!

Woo! It's Tony!

Tony!

As mentioned last time, Spencer had to win immunity or he was going home. He was too big of a threat and would have won for sure had he gone to the end, right? That's ok, he's totally going to be on the next all-star series. Don't feel bad.

He didn't win immunity because Kass - of all people - won it in a completely crazy come-from-behind victory. She was WAY behind the other three going into the puzzle portion of the challenge and then completely blew them all away - even Spencer.

Oh, yeah, rewinding a bit (I get so excited!)... the Survivors' family members arrived for a visit and got to hang out for a while and watch them compete in the challenge. We all love the family visit, right? Do you cry a little bit? Come on, now. You do. Kass all of a sudden seems like a real person when her husband is there. Woo's cousin (who, like Woo, says very little) is there, along with Spencer's sister and Tony's best friend. The teariest part came when Tony was talking about expecting his wife, but then seeing the friend instead and being so disappointed not to have his wife there and then talking about having to leave his 4-month-old daughter and etc, etc.  Sniff... sniff. It's great TV because we see them for months on end as characters and then having the family there makes them real all of a sudden. Bloggers everywhere are suddenly nicer. True story.

As another aside, Kass made some pretty interesting points during last night's episode. She's monumentally disliked by the jury members and she talked about how - if she were to make it to the end - she'd have to appeal to them based on being the only woman left and that she got there by playing super hard (true). Playing super hard gets you labelled a bitch if you're a woman, yet if a man does it - say, Tony, for example - he's an amazing player. Granted, people were pissed at Tony too, but they still gave it to him in the end for playing the better game. Do you think they'd have seen it that way if it were Kass vs. Woo at the end?  I'm not so sure.

It's a moot point, because once Kass did not make it to the final two.

Backing up.

Spencer was clever in noticing that it was likely going to be a final two instead of a final three this season. I liked it better. You? I have always hated the final three. It takes too long with the jury, plus it's always between two of them anyway with the third person just there as filler. Two is better. So, Spencer appealed to Tony by saying look, if I go home and you're left with a final three and you don't win immunity - either Woo or Kass is going to take the other one over you.  That was a good prediction, but Tony took the risk, as he always did. The risk paid off, though not for Spence.

So once it was down to Tony, Kass & Woo, there was one more immunity challenge. It was super close between Woo & Kass, but Woo pulled it out.  Then he had to choose who to take to the final. It was a tough choice. You'd think he'd automatically pick Kass, right? But Tony's play was to appeal to Woo's sense of honour - that he'd played the game one way the whole way, and he shouldn't change it up now. I don't know what I would have done in the same place. It's easy to say you'd pick Kass too and the jury later said that Woo would have won over Kass (again, is this sexist, or was she really that annoying?) But, I think it was the right play to make. He made a great argument for playing his own game - yeah, he didn't play as hard in the sense that he made giant moves like Tony, but it's still a strategy to play under the radar and be social and not make enemies. As much as I'm not a fan of the "honour and integrity" thing as the be-all and end-all of this game, it is a strategy that has worked for people. And it looked like it was going to work for Woo. People were HARSH on Tony - especially for the swearing on his badge/wife/daughter/mother/father's grave stuff.  He was a little flapped and looked panicked, but was pretty good actually about saying, you know - I'd never do that in real life, but this is a game and yeah, I'd do anything in the game to win. Two totally opposite strategies that could equally work. (As an aside, in the reunion show, Sarah said that she pretty much can't stand Tony because he apologized to her at first about the whole 'swear-on-my-badge' thing, but then apparently went on Twitter to be mean to her.)

Where was I? Right... I thought Woo was going to take it. He came off pretty articulate, and not so, "Whoa, Dude!" like you'd expect. Everyone was super harsh to Tony. Then Spencer gets to go last (how do they come up with the order, anyway?) and he basically tells the jury that they should not be bitter and vote for Tony because no matter how you look at it, Tony played the better game. So, did Spencer win it for Tony? Maybe. What I do know is that Tony is still a bit of a weird guy. BUT, he played a hell of a game that - as we mentioned before - was reminiscent of Boston Rob, but on the first try vs. the fourth. Even Jeff said he was impressed how many people came out to play this time. (Jeff, btw, had to apologize to Spencer for apparently telling him there's no way in hell he'd win. He still didn't win, but he earned Jeff's respect. Now, how is it that Jeff can think that about Spencer when a guy like John Cochran won? There have been a LOT of very unlikely winners. Jeff?) (Oh, can we mention as well that when Tony & Woo got the last breakfast, they wondered if they were perhaps eating "beef bacon?" Lovely.)

I also know that Woo - for all his kinda "dumb surfer-dude" personality was a true class act. Never once did he seem down about his loss, but just kept congratulating Tony and shaking his hand. He said he played it like he wants to live his life, and good on him. Woo's a good man. I think I'd even like Kass in real life. And I hope I never get on Trish's bad side.

I also enjoyed that Morgan referenced the fact that she's pretty and her breasts during her jury comments. Awww, she's pretty.

I think I enjoyed that they kept going over to "Jeff in LA" during the finale too. Though, really, a bit of a time waster. There was no "walk of remembrance" this time, speaking of time wasters. Way to go, Survivor, you're finally catching on. It only took 28 seasons.

Send me your comments! I'd love to hear 'em.  And thanks for reading and putting up with the late posts. Finally, if you know anyone at CBS, tell them I'd happily write this stuff for them. On time. I promise. See what you can do.

The Greatest Final Four Ever.

OK, so I missed another week and now I'm combining two weeks again. Forgive?

I was sad to see Tasha go. Tasha should have made it to the end. But we still have Spencer. Spence is a machine! How much did you love seeing him catch up to Tony last night in the immunity challenge? As long as he's up against Tony in a puzzle challenge, Spencer will always prevail. Tony himself admits he sucks at puzzles. Spencer does not suck.

But let's get down to it, shall we? 

Tony voted out Trish.

In case you missed it, the four surviving alliance members had to vote one of their own out because Spencer did not suck at puzzles.  Here's the thought process:

Tony: Go to the final with Kass & Trish. They're not well liked - especially Kass. They both suck at challenges - especially Trish. Cut Woo.  Tell Woo that he'll be in the final three with you.

Kass: Tell Woo Tony's plan. Make sure he doubts Tony.  Poke the bear. Make Tony crazy.

Trish: Yell at Kass. Tell her she is awful and hateful and annoying and that you cant' stand her.

Kass: Smirk at Trish 'cause you know she hates it.

Trish: Hate Kass more.

Tony: Kass, you're out. Forget it. I'm with Woo.

Woo: Wait a sec.... Tony promised me final three AND Kass AND Trish. Whoa! That's FOUR.

Spencer: Watch the madness unfold.  Separate Tony & Trish. 

We all know no one can touch Tony.  Tony smartly has kept his idols and is untouchable. So, you vote for Trish or Woo. Everyone wants to sit next to Kass in the final. No one on the jury likes Kass.

The advantage of voting out Woo - he's liked on the jury.
The advantage of voting out Trish - you separate Trish & Tony as a voting block.

Kass & Spencer pull in Woo, who's now convinced by smart, smart Kass that Tony isn't to be trusted. They decide to vote for Trish. Tony - always the cop - overhears them.  Ummm... how does no one ever look around them when they're chatting? 

Thing is... Tony could have saved Trish.  He could have given her his immunity idol.  Instead, he gave it away to Jeff, not playing it at all. He hangs onto the 'special' idol in the  hopes he can convince the others that he can still play it (he can't). Smart. Instead of saving Trish, he votes for her. Did you catch it?  Why would you vote off your #1 ally who you know you can beat in the final?

My guess? Well, Trish is a vote for Tony on the jury, so there's that. Woo - potentially - is not. If I'm Tony, I think I can maybe beat Woo at the end anyway, so it doesn't matter. Everyone knows Woo's been basically following Tony, so it would probably be easy to convince the jury that all the strategy belongs to Tony.  Trish won't actually know Tony flipped on her because all four people voted for her. And... maybe it's just so that he won't have to listen to her any more about Kass. And maybe so she'll go eat something and not die. Thoughts? 

We're down to the final four: Tony, Woo, Kass and Spencer. Two original Brawn vs. two original Brain.  I have to say, I like all of them. As much as both Kass and Tony infuriate me - they (along with Spencer) have played the BEST game of Survivor since Boston Rob... and they've done it without four tries. Kass and Tony would be horrible to play with. They are so unpredictable, but it has worked for them. Who in the history of Survivor has flipped teams and been so completely annoying and bad at challenges and has managed to go as far as Kass?  She's such an amazing observer of behaviour and relationships and so completely opposite of Tony, and yet the same as Tony in so many ways.  Kass knows how to make Tony completely unhinged. No one else can do this.

As for Tony, he's had some good luck, sure. But he's also been extremely smart and has played without emotion - in a good way. He's focused on winning and has paved his way to the end smartly, by making good alliances, by using people outside his alliance when he needs to, and by being a great talker.  Who goes outside of their alliance to vote and then comes back to the people he left out of the decision - not just once - and ends up still pals? Tony. It's crazy. And of course, having 2 idols and not having to even use them. Just letting everyone know you have it and you're not afraid to use it. Idol deterrence.

Spencer has of course been awesome in all ways and is still the player to beat.  He's likable. He's a "challenge beast" (which is crazy given how poorly his team did at the beginning, remember?). He's played amazing strategically. I mean, he's been on the bottom from day one and has managed to always come out on top again. Again, some luck, but also some great game play. Knowing when to engage people like Tony and when to shut up and listen and watch things just unfold around you.

Woo. Well, not a lot of chance of winning, but you never know. Woo hasn't played a hard strategic game, no. But let's all remember Natalie, shall we?  Remember the mute blonde that Russell Hantz took to the final? She won because yeah, Russell played the better strategy... but everyone hated Russell along the way.  If it's Tony, Kass & Woo at the end, Woo has a chance to win based on the fact that he's just more likable than the other two. He's like a happy-go-lucky family dog. And I mean that in the nicest way, honest. He's cool, and sweet and unpretentious and would be a great guy to give a million bucks to if Tony screws up his answers to the Jury. 

I'm still voting for Spence. But it's all going to depend on the next immunity challenge. If Spencer doesn't win it, there's no way any of the other three would keep him around. They all know they won't beat him in the final. Fun, right?

The grand finale is next Wednesday, don't forget. Yay!

On Juicy Ribs, Juicy Gossip and Amazing Brains

Sorry guys for the late blog again. I have two episodes to catch up on. I won't spend much time on the one from two weeks ago except to say Jeremiah got voted out and Spencer played his immunity idol, thinking that it would be him. Jeremiah was shocked that they could vote out someone so beautiful, but is happy that as a male model, he'll go back to making lots of money anyway. Thankfully, now people will appreciate him. He's a Mer-MAN, dammit. (Anyone?) Really, I didn't mind Jeremiah. He seemed like a nice sort, but maybe wasn't the best at strategizing and got himself on the unlucky end of an alliance - as did Spencer and Tasha.

Now... Spencer and Tasha... are the underdogs who just keep on keeping on! How much do we love them? This is why Survivor is always good - because folks like Spencer & Tasha by all rights should have been voted off about seven episodes ago, yet somehow they find a way to keep going. There's a tiny bit of luck involved, for sure, but the biggest part of it is that they are playing the game HARD - doing things like finding idols, winning immunity and getting into people's heads. More on that later.

They had the Survivor auction, which is always good to watch.  This was the first time ever that so many people held out for a game advantage rather than spending their money on food. That meant that the food that was available went for a song to people like Kass, Trish and Woo. Seriously, the best part of the whole show was when Woo got himself some BBQ ribs and a beer and talked dirty to Jeff ("Those look so juicy! "I can just imagine what the meat will feel like in my mouth.") (Seriously, I am not making this up.) (I cannot believe I just typed it, but it's true.) (AND, it came with background saxophone music and an almost slow-mo shot of Woo taking his first bite, followed by his first sip of beer, complete with BBQ stains on mouth.) (Seriously.)

Spencer, Tony and Tasha all saved their money and were told that they'd have to draw rocks for the advantage. Tasha declined to play - I suppose because she figured there still could be another advantage?  That could have paid off - but in the end she ended up with nada.  Tony drew the rock that gained him the advantage and ended up with a clue to another immunity idol, which he found. So now Tony's got a regular idol and the powerful one that lets him use it AFTER the votes have been read. He wisely decides to show his new idol to his alliance - partly to show off I think, and partly to let them know that he trusts them and they should trust him. Why the trust issue?

Spencer knows he's in trouble. He plants a seed with Tony that the women could use Tasha in a women's alliance that would get rid of the stronger men (more on that later). Cue to Tasha hanging out in the water with Trish, Kass & Jefra. Tony gets paranoid and thinks, yes, this could be true. Spencer tells him that Jefra was planning to oust him (true) and was ready to leave the alliance (also true) when LJ was voted out. Tony comes up with a plan where he could get rid of Jefra just to keep the balance between the ladies and the men. Also, it turns out he can't vote out Tasha. Why?

Because Tasha's AMAZING!  She has won the individual immunity for what? The third time in a row? Beating guys like Spencer, Woo & Tony is pretty great. (Kass, Jefra & Trish are all no great shakes at the challenges.) So with her having immunity, it looks like it'll be Spencer going home, right?  Nope.  Tony and Woo decide to vote with Spencer & Tasha against Jefra, sending the last of the beautiful people home. Crazy right?

The fun part now is that Tony and Woo did not tell Kass & Trish about their change, so now what? Kass & Trish are gonna be pissed! They're obviously going to try to get rid of Tony. Again, this bodes really well for Spencer and Tasha, who now can work with whoever they want, right? Thing is, Tony's pretty much impossible to get rid of. Tony can let everyone vote for him and use either his regular idol OR his other idol to vote off whoever he wants, essentially.  Mind you, if I'm Spencer and/or Tasha, I don't care who I sit with at the end. Spencer and Tasha both win over Tony, who's played a great game but has screwed over everyone on the jury, right?  And no one (except maybe Tash and Kass) speak as well as Spencer. Woo's likable, but everyone sees him as Tony's puppet. Kass has made one big move, Trish hasn't really.  (Can we discuss for a sec how often Trish points out how skinny everyone else is? Trish is just about invisible, she's so thin!) Sarah and Morgan being on the jury would never allow anyone to vote for Kass. The fight is between Tony, Spencer and Tasha for the win. Tony's got more ammo, but you know how it works in the movies when the good guy runs out of bullets, right? And isn't the good guy usually smarter than the brawny bad guy? Just sayin'? 

I'm Just an Old, Bald Construction Guy, Don't Mind Me

Ack - late post again! Once again, my Spencer made it through! Yay, Spence!

Tony is starting to crack a bit (more), non? All that venting because he got some votes at Tribal Council, when he should just be keeping quiet and thanking his lucky stars that it was Morgan who went home instead of him. Right? Nope. Instead, he interrogates the others... Why did you vote for me? Am I a threat? Why am I such a threat? I'm an old, bald guy! Who, me? I don't get it? I guess it's a compliment, right? Why didn't you just ask who we were voting for and vote WITH us? Ugh... Sit DOWN, Tony.The last time I checked, that's not how it works. Oh, let's see... I'm on the bottom of the totem pole, I don't have the numbers in my alliance... I'm just going to go over to the folks with the numbers and they'll honestly tell me who they're voting for so that I can vote with them. Right.

Tony does come up with a pretty good plan, however, to start getting rid of his biggest alpha male competition (that's not Trish... heh.) (Her words, not mine.). He tells LJ that he thinks Woo has an immunity idol & that they should vote off Woo, and then tells Woo that LJ wants to vote for him. Clever, right? Make one guy sort of agree that the other could be voted off (LJ never actually agreed to this) and then you're not actually lying when you tell the other one (well, you're definitely exaggerating) that they said they're after you. Follow? At any rate, Woo - bless him - is pretty gullible. He's certain that Tony is solid and wouldn't lie to him. Everyone else seems a little leary of Tony... except Woo.  Poor Woo - I think you could tell him anything and he'd believe you.

Things got even better for Tony when he won reward - a "spa" trip - with Spencer and Jeremiah. How perfect that Tony gets to suss out whether or not the others would be willing to vote with him to save themselves. Ummmm... the answer is - of course!  When you're on the bottom, you'll pretty much entertain anything to stay around a couple more days. It was funny to me that the team with the three men on it won the spa reward. Not that they didn't enjoy it as much as the ladies would have... but they just couldn't have enjoyed it as much as the ladies would have. Sorry. And those poor massage ladies having to deal with all those ugly man-feet. Blech.

As it turns out, LJ should not have stuck with his alliance. He did have one chance to turn it around, but hindsight is 20/20. Tasha approached him & wanted him to vote with her group (Spencer & Jeremiah) against Tony. And if LJ voted with her, she figured he could also swing Jefra into doing it too. It would have been a great blindside. Frustratingly for Tasha, no one really wants to strategize with her...ever. She's probably one of the best players of this game who isn't being allowed to play. She does win immunity in a memory challenge (yay, Brains!) so is at least safe for this round. (Did you love that two people were out after trying to remember two colours in a row? Thanks for the memories, Trish & Woo.) (Heh.)

So it looks like the plan is for the alliance of six (Tony, Trish, Woo, LJ, Jefra & Kass) to vote 3 for Spencer & 3 for Jeremiah, just in case someone has an idol. Tony and Woo throw their votes for LJ with Tasha, Spencer & Jeremiah in a pretty good blindside, but now what? Now how do you feel if you're Trish, Jefra or Kass? Not so good, I'm thinking. The tides flip once again!  AND, Spencer didn't play his idol (very risky!) so he's still safe(ish). I'm thinking Tony & Woo had better win some immunity this week, or they might just be in trouble. Unless Tony can keep working the magic. And why does Tony say at Tribal Council that he "works construction?" Doesn't everyone know at theis point that he's a cop? The "HUH?" look on Sarah's face was absolutely delightful. Next time, it looks like Woo might have bigger fish to fry as he falls out of a coconut tree - NOT a very ninja move. Yikes!

Most Would Pick Cute, And Most Did!

Apologies for the late blog. I'll make it a short one.

Lots of fall-out for Chaos Kass. Spencer & Morgan & Tasha were super cheesed off at Kass, while everyone else was just trying to figure her out. Kass, meanwhile, figures herself a free agent now and will keep voting however she pleases (or "how her estrogen tells her to," according to Spencer... which sometimes I would find insulting, but this time I think is spot on.)  Because no one can figure Kass out, and the fact that she's not super pleasant to be around makes me wonder why the heck they don't get rid of her asap?  Morgan figures Kass isn't very nice because she's "old and ugly"... typical Beauty team response. More on that later.

There was a product-placement Outback Steakhouse reward challenge. The only thing you need to know about the reward challenge is that after inhaling a ton of food with his paws, Spencer finally remembered about napkins. When he opened his napkin, a clue to the hidden immunity idol fell out. Later, he went off looking and was followed by Woo, who went into "ninja mode"... When Spencer came out of the water, Woo picks up Spencer's pants to hand them to him (that sounds way worse than it really was.)  Spencer had just folded the clue into the pants (!!!) and it fell out, at which point Woo the Ninja grabbed it and ran. Of course, Woo outed Spencer to the rest of the bunch and then it was a free-for-all treasure hunt. Hilariously, Woo tells Kass to watch Spencer... which she does not because she's fairly oblivious to other people, and Spencer manages to find the idol right in front of her without her seeing. Ha!  (Note: I love Spencer. He's been a total underdog the whole time - always on the bottom since day one, and always coming out on top somehow.) (Also note: Spencer found a regular immunity idol, not the 'special powers' one.) Later, Spencer goes on to beat Tasha to win immunity.  Tasha totally looked in the zone, too - I thought she would win for sure. (Another great challenge, btw, where the Survivors had to stand on their toes balancing a block on their head holding it up against a beam. Whoever comes up with these torturous challenges is brilliant!)

So Spencer is safe from the vote.  The larger group decides to vote for either Morgan, because she's useless, or Tasha because she's a threat. Inexplicably, they vote for Morgan. At this stage in the game, Morgan is the perfect person to keep around and make a final three agreement with. She's absolutely no threat to win because she has few friends, is super lazy around camp and not good at challenges so falls in the "doesn't deserve to win" category, and won't/can't really come up with strategy to out-play you.  She's perfect. She even admits to not doing anything around camp because she was spoiled by the men at first who made her breakfast (!!) and pretty much gets people to do stuff for her all the time in life. After Jeff asks if that's normal for her to get what she wants based on her looks, she says, "Well, if anyone in the world could pick ugly or cute, most would pick cute." Oh yes, she did. Could we PLEASE check in on Morgan in 20 years when she's put on 50 lbs and her giant boobs are hanging down to her waist? (Possibly just from all the running in Survivor.) Turns out they did pick cute - they picked cute to get the hell off the island.

Tasha, on the other hand, is smart, likable and good at challenges. Huge threat. Then there's Kass, who everyone has seen openly flip alliances and who no one can read, so they know she might flip again at a moment's notice.  Why they wouldn't get rid of Tasha or Kass at this point is beyond me, let alone the smart, strong guys - Tony & LJ who in other seasons would get voted out first just for being smart & strong. You could get rid of Jeremiah at this point at least for being strong, if not super smart... and don't people distrust him? Now everyone's paranoid about the immunity idols, which makes things a little more fun and less predictable, right? Good on ya, Survivor producers! And go, Spencer!

CHAOS KASS VS. THE OVERCONFIDENT COW

OK, that was up there with the BEST episodes EVER! At least the best Tribal Council, yes? I seriously want to hear some comments from y'all. What do you think of Chaos Kass and her flip? Personally, I think it was stupid. She freaked out and now she's the bottom of six, where before she was top-three with Tasha and Spencer. So what happened and what are the Survivor lessons here? (Note: Please excuse all the all-caps... I am excited.)

There was a merge. Sara was overconfident. She was the swing vote between the two sides of the new tribe. She could stick with her current six and easily outvote the other group. Or, she could flip to the other side with her old Brawn teammates, and resurrect Cops R Us with Tony. Either way, she's sitting pretty... IF she's not an overconfident cow about it. (Note that I'm using 'cow' to refer to her (lack of) social skills. See below, Lesson 2. I have nothing against cows.)

LESSON #1: Don't be an overconfident cow.

Saying stuff like, "I'm the president," or "They will vote however I tell them to," or "They better not piss me off..." pretty much tells us you're a little too cocky about your position. Which, as we know in Survivor, can change at a moment's notice.

So basically, the Brain tribe had a super solid plan. Vote for the person the other tribe would least likely see coming. In this case, they'd be expecting one of the big strong dudes, so instead vote for Jefra or Trish. It not only makes for a great blindside, but it potentially flushes out an idol (or two) and then you've got them even further down in numbers. Brilliant. Unless, of course, someone freaks out. Sara disagreed with the plan & desperately wanted to stick with the usual Survivor strategy of voting out one of the strong guys who, "for sure don't have any idols." Actually, Sara, they BOTH have idols. LJ and Tony both have 'em and no one knows, even on their own teams. So, Kass tries to explain the strategy to Sara and sort of round-about says that Sara is the only one she's worried about - meaning not that she absolutely didn't trust her (that would come later) but that she's the one who's new and who has more connections on the other side. Right? Makes sense. If I'm Sara, I'd think, yeah, I wouldn't trust me either.  But no, Sara instead got her back up and started whining about the tribe not trusting her... which in turn got Kass's back up about being bullied into voting how Sara wanted... until basically Kass & Sara hated each other.

Tasha, trying to be the peacemaker and mostly trying to keep Sara on board with the original plan, sat down with Kass & Sara and listened to both sides. Obviously, as she's comfortable with her ally, Kass, Tash is going to give Sara a bit more lip service, right? That's what we'd all do. We'd placate Sara to keep her happy and our friend Kass would totally get it. Unless our friend had not social skills.

LESSON #2: Survivor is a game of social skills, first and foremost.

Kass was totally oblivious to what Tasha was trying to accomplish, so just figured that OBVIOUSLY Tasha is on Sara's side. Ummm, this is how girls think in high school. Grown-ass women are supposed to have figured this stuff out by now. Nope. Kass figured she'd been "replaced" in the alliance by Sara and that if Sara was going to turn the game around, Kass would get the jump on her and instead be the one to flip.  Now, why on earth you'd think that your ALLY - someone who's been with you since the BEGINNING of the game - would replace you with an overconfident cow... is beyond me. And why on earth you wouldn't just TALK TO TASHA AND SPENCER about it instead of getting all "My feelings have been hurt" about it and assuming the wrong thing...I don't know. Sigh.  Speaking of lacking social skills... the comedy continues...

Over at the other tribe, Tony approaches Sara about voting with them. He smartly reminds her that she's the bottom of her current six and that they could just vote her out next time because once it's 6-4, they wouldn't need her vote any more.  He reminds her of Cops R Us and asks her to swear on her badge again. She doesn't. Says she needs to think about it. When he gives her time to think and asks again - she still doesn't swear. Which brings me to:

LESSON #3: Never, ever, ever swear on your badge/kids/husband/wife/grandmother/dog/whatever is actually important to you.

If you do this and you flip, people will never ever forgive you. And you're still going for jury votes in the end, right? People have to like you and believe that your word - at least if you're gonna swear on your badge in this case - means something to you. It's not that smart players don't lie - they all do. They make promises, sure, but later they can say, sure I promised but it was all part of playing the game. But when you promise ON YOUR BADGE or whatever, people tend to take that stuff a little more seriously. Also, it opens you up. When Sara refused to swear on her badge, Tony immediately knew she wasn't voting with them. Easy. Had she been smart & left the badge out of it, she could have just played him - Yeah, sure Tony, I promise I'm with you guys. Easy, right? That's how you blindside. You promise someone something and then you do the other thing.

Knowing full well they didn't have Sara, Tony's team tried to woo Kass over. Trish had already seen Kass & Sara scrapping so she knew Kass was cranky. So you try. You get in there and say, hey Kass, we're all going to vote for your enemy Sara, so if you want to join in... (Can we discuss for a sec how everyone kind of thinks Trish isn't playing much of a game, but how she actually is playing this game hard. (Hard... with a Boston accent... Haaaaahd.))

Tribal Council.

Woo had immunity (ummm... and the almost best part of the evening was when Tony calls over to Woo in the balancing challenge and asks how he's doing and Woo goes, "Woo!" Ha!)  Tony and LJ are the strong guys left. Tony pulls out his idol and shows it off at Tribal Council. Brain team looks shocked and announces that they'll vote "for the other one, then."  They go vote. Tony gives his idol to LJ.  LJ in turn gives HIS idol to Tony. Brilliant.  Except that the Brains had voted for Jefra... which would have been some of the absolute best game play EVER... if Kass hadn't flipped. I'm not sure if the Brain team were just going to vote Jefra from the start and were bluffing in order to flush out an idol (I don't think anyone expected they'd get two idols). If they were bluffing, they sold it pretty well. Or, did they originally pick Sara's plan (Tony) and then switch to back the original plan (Jefra) once Tony showed his idol?  Unsure. It would have been great. But then Kass flipped and voted for Sara. Now, I'm not sad to see Sara go. We pretty much knew as soon as they spent the whole show with her telling us how in control of the game she was, that she wasn't in control. Oh, look, that's another lesson!

LESSON #4: If you ever think you're in control of the game, check yourself. You're probably not. Unless you're Boston Rob. And you're on your fourth Survivor.

Sara was so "in control of the game" that she forgot to be nice. She forgot about the social game. If she had just played it cool with everyone, she's still be playing. But, what are your thoughts on Kass? Was it a good move or not? Poor Spencer & Tasha are now in a tough spot - AGAIN. And now Kass has four people who hate her. So, she'd better hope the tables don't turn again. Going forward the hidden immunity idol will be a big deal - plus it evidently has "special powers"... what's that going to be?  You can pick one other person to also be immune?  You get to pick who goes home? You get a burrito? You can make Jeff magically appear out of the forest?  To be determined. Comments please!

One Dumb Quitter, The End of Cops R Us, and A Tale of Two Beauties

Again with the late post. Forgive?

What a fun episode!  A girl fight and quitter AND a vote too! Yay! 

The Girl Fight & The Quitter:

We all know that Lindsie (I've never bothered to learn how to spell her name properly, since I didn't figure she'd last that long, and it's more convenient to just call her dreadlocks.) and Trish haven't gotten along since day one. Now, I'm not sure Trish would be the very first person I'd want to be stuck on an island with (can we discuss how many women this season have annoying voices? Sara's voice, for instance, is a bit of a higher-pitched Penny Marshall.) but I get Trish. Trish is Boston, so if you get Boston Rob, you get Trish. And to be (a little bit) fair, we never really got to know Dreadlocks (see above, re: name) except to see her hanging tight with Cliff and mean-girling Trish. Maybe she's a lovely person. Oh, except for the quitting. So, when they got back to camp after voting off Cliff, Trish tried to explain herself for flipping on the former Brawns. Dreads would have none of it. Pretty much told Trish she hated the following things:

• Trish's laugh
• Trish's voice
• Trish's face
• Trish's teeth
• Trish.

So, Trish says, "So... Lindsie, you don't like me then?"
Dreads: "No."
Trish: "Now ask me if I care."

Totally Boston. The application for Survivor should really state: "Thin skinned folks need not apply." But, what would be the fun in that, right? Anyway, Dreads apparently is of the thinner-skinned variety. She storms off and eventually the team notices that she hasn't come back for a while and it's dark and kinda cold. They're worried - even Trish.

Meanwhile, sitting on her own private beach is Dreads. Then Jeff magically appears out of the forest to have a chat.  How does this happen. This is new, right? We've seen Jeff show up for medical emergencies, but never for a heart-to-heart (though, I hope we see more of this.) (Also, while I know she probably just told her cameraman to go get Jeff, I secretly hope there's some sort of Jeff Probst bat-signal that can be used in cases of emergency.)  So Dreads tells Jeff that Trish is mean and that she has to leave before she says or does something she'll regret (ummm... like quitting?) and that she doesn't want her daughter to see her mum doing something stupid (ummm... like quitting?) and that.. surprise, it's cold and she's hungry and stuff (so, ummmm... the quitting is more about you being uncomfortable than it is about Trish. Gotcha.)  So Jeff asks her how she wants to deal with telling the tribe that she's quitting and she says something like, "I'd like to go tell them, but I think maybe it'll be best if you just do it, Jeff." (ummm... also the easy way out. Go figure.)

Later, at the reward challenge, it's fun to see how really no one cares that she quit - and in fact, most are pretty happy about it. Says Spencer, "Two people are gone and I didn't have to do anything!"  Says Woo, "Yay, now our group can rebuild and have a fresh start!"  Woo was buds with Dreads and Cliff, so Woo needs to work it hard.

Reward, Messing with Jeremiah & Tony Messes Up:

When Tony's team won the reward challenge, they got to go visit the other tribe and raid the camp. Tony got to go with Woo. They received instructions on what they could & couldn't take and they got a clue to the immunity idol at their own beach. Tony's big idea was to pretend like they were supposed to give the clue to one of the other team - then give it to Jeremiah in order to put a target on his back. Now, if Jeremiah was smart, or had seen any other seasons, he'd have either just shared the clue with his tribe on the spot or just declined it outright. Nope. He's... pretty. Tony, for his part, goes back to camp and brags about his plan (which is pretty great, actually) but then keeps it going and tells everyone that yeah, he's a cop not a construction worker. Tony's typical of a lot of players that do one thing well and then lose perspective and think they're more awesome than they are. As LJ noted, "OK, so you're trying to gain our trust by telling us you lied? OK."  Tony then goes on to mess up again after the immunity challenge by group-hugging his team & yelling, "Final five, baby!" which pretty much let the other team know what's going on over there, plus told Sara that he's no longer on board with Cops R Us.

The Vote:

Speaking of Sara, she smartly shut up over at her camp when it came to voting and let it be known she'd just go along with the majority.  The Brains are in full control over there, with Sara as a for sure vote and the Beauty Bunch all hating each other. And while no one seems to trust Jeremiah (is it the accent?) Alexis was well-read by Spencer as untrustworthy herself. She's been the one who's been dishing the most on her Beauty tribe mates and trying to push the Brains into voting out Jeremiah. In the end, it came down to who would be the most likely to flip once the merge happens and the Brains decided that Jeremiah could be trusted more than Alexis, who remember is buddies with Jefra. So, Alexis was voted out and left, sobbing. Poor girlie. I didn't trust her either. Spencer was right saying that she's smarter than she lets on (though, still unsure how chickens are made) and should own her intelligence rather than hide behind the beauty. I like Spencer. He should win. Or at least that's what I'm sticking with today.

Pilates > Basketball

Sorry for the late post.  Such a good episode, too!  Remember way back to last week?

There was a re-shuffling of tribes, which as always worked out good for some and less good for others.  It's good for the Brains who were down to three members and ended up once again on the same tribe. Turns out being a solid three is great once you're in a bigger group. The Brawn bunch also mostly stayed together with the sole exception of Sara, who's now going to have a bit of work to do. The Beauties got split up.  LJ and Jefra ended up with the mainly Brawn tribe, while the other three (Morgan, Alexis and Jeremiah) ended up on the other tribe. Even though they're three strong like the Brains, they don't get along and were super quick to let everyone know it, giving our Brainiacs even more power. 

Not surprisingly, the Brawny tribe won the reward challenge, which was awesome. It was a super physical one where two tribe members had to try to drag an opposite tribe member from a pole they're hanging onto.  It looked awful. Amazing that no one ended up hurt... or punching someone else in the face. Cliff was the best as he just sat there and giggled while the other team tried getting him to budge. Sara put up a tough fight on her side, but eventually lost.

Back at camp, Trish turned into a bit of a schoolgirl around LJ, who she's obviously got the hots for. Turns out they're both from Boston, so have lots to chat about.  Trish also knows she's on the bottom of her alliance, so doesn't mind at all forging a new alliance with LJ and Jefra. LJ has nothing to lose, so he's happy to play it up. 

The Brawny tribe then goes on to lose the immunity challenge, which they (and I) found pretty shocking. It's good for them to have a little humility though, non?  Plus I enjoyed seeing the Brains get to win something for a change and finally not have to go to Tribal Council.  The Brawns hadn't been there at all yet!  It's their turn. 

The great part of this episode was the fact that the vote couldn't be predicted. It looked at first like it was going to be an easy vote. The majority Brawn alliance would get rid of LJ, who they see as a threat, especially with his new 'relationship' with Trish. BUT, we know LJ has a hidden immunity idol.  Then, Trish goes to work.  She's got three votes and approaches Tony for a fourth, trying to convince him that now would be an excellent time to get rid of Cliff.  Her reasons: Cliff is lazy, he's super nice and would be impossible to beat (so actually more of a threat than LJ), he's got great relationships with Lindsey and Woo, he's already got lots of money, and he'd never see it coming.  Tony doesn't know which way to go - it seems like a stupid time to get rid of your strongest teammate, when you still need to win challenges.  But the alpha males like Tony are looking down the road and are happy to get rid of the threat. Who looks more necessary to the team once the strongest guy is gone than the NEXT strongest guy?  At any rate, it wasn't a predictable vote. I was yelling at LJ to play his idol & couldn't believe it when he didn't - that's when we knew Tony flipped.  Cliff was the one to go.  Sorry professional basketball guy, people don't want to see you win a(nother) million bucks. You know who needs a million bucks more?  Cops and Pilates instructors. And suddenly the strongest group isn't so strong any more. You can't predict this thing.

Which Came First? The Chicken or the Brain?

It's official. The Beauty Tribe is my favourite. The entire conversation about chickens and eggs made my life. More on that in a bit.

There was a reward challenge and an immunity challenge. For the reward challenge, Beauty won, followed by Brawn who were WAY behind Brains but came back due to guess whose complete ineptitude?  J'Tia. Correct. Without going too much into the challenge, the most entertaining part was the fact that it was one of those ones where the teammates are blindfolded and someone has to yell at them what directions to go, while all of the obstacles are pretty much at crotch height. Someone was working some serious slapstick on the Survivor design team here. It's possible that LJ may never have children after this challenge.

So, the Beauty team won some chickens and a rooster, which prompted a discussion about whether the chicken and the rooster need to "get it on" in order for the eggs to be made. "What is the rooster for?" asks one of the girls. A whole bunch of speculation ensued at this point, making the pretty girls look.... well.... pretty. LJ, the HORSE TRAINER, and pretty much the only smart one, finally broke it to the girls how it works.
"You make eggs, right?"
"Oooooooooh."
Leading LJ to comment, "We all know that the egg came first because the dinosaurs came before the chickens and they laid eggs."  Ummm... ok. Sure.  I guess.

The other thing to mention in the Beauty tribe is that Morgan managed to cleverly throw Jeremiah under the bus for making another alliance with her & Brice in front of the whole group. Nice work, girl. It led one of the other girls (Jefra, I think?) to throw out this brilliant observation:

"I don't even know how Jeremiah got on the Beauty team. He's not even that good looking!"

Later to try to make it up to the team, hideous Jeremiah killed a chicken by tearing its head off!!!! Are we all ok with this? Did I need to hear the noise of a chicken's head coming off on TV?  Unsure.  I get it that it's Survivor (they are surviving...) and that yes, I also eat chicken. But... still, it messed with my ummm... delicate sensibilities. Or something. I did like how Jeremiah pretended like he knew how to go about killing a chicken, when really, "uh, I'm just a model."  Funny. I still didn't need to hear it.

 Meanwhile, the Brawn tribe considered throwing the immunity challenge in order to get rid of Cliff. Interesting how Cliff has unknowingly become the target - mostly because he's threatening to the other alpha male in the group, Tony. Remember how Tony fibbed to Sara about Cliff & Dreadlocks conspiring against her. Well now Sara's got a bee in her bonnet about Cliff... which is all good for Tony. Always good to have a bigger, richer alpha male around. 'Cause that's the other argument against Cliff - they all know he's a former NBA player and probably is quite comfortable.  Even Cliff's bro-bestie, Woo, is up for ousting his pal if it means someone younger and more financially deserving can win a million bucks. Cliff really needs to come up with a story soon about how he pissed his NBA fortune away on gambling debts... or gave away all his money to a sick relative... or something!  I'm rooting for Cliff.

Anyway, the challenge was to dive down, release buoys and then use them in a BASKETBALL challenge.  Yup, that's the one to try to throw when you have an NBA star on your team. Idiots. The bigger idiots? Ironically, Brains. That's right. Even trying to throw a challenge, Brawn still managed to come in second, ahead of the Brains team, who are saddled with J'Tia, who as you'll recall, is completely useless.  Not that Kass or Tasha were spectacular in the challenge either - Spencer pretty much kept them in the challenge at all & it was actually pretty close at the end between them and Brawn.  But as Sara noted - "The green team sucks. We were trying to give it to them and they still lost. They deserve to lose." Spencer honestly deserves a medal for not losing it on those girls, right?

Spencer made a good play going to Kass & Tasha and telling them that the only way they're going to ever win anything is to get rid of J'Tia. He also promised his loyalty. It worked. Barely. They finally sent J'Tia packing. She was an interesting character in how self-aware she was about how much she sucked at the challenges and how she knew she should have been voted out for the rice incident anyway.  It made me almost want to like her a little bit. I just never want to be on her team for anything, please.

Next week, the teams will switch up, which will be interesting. Will Spencer stick with Kass & Tasha after all?  Will Kass and Tasha just bring down whatever team they're on? Will the oust Cliff strategy come to pass? Will some of the partnerships like Tony/Sara get broken up?  Will Jefra be able to keep her food down having to be on a team with such ugly people? Where DO baby chickens come from?It remains to be seen!

Well, At Least You're Pretty

It was just an OK episode last night, non? As always, though, there was some gold.

Brains started to pull it together now that Garrett is gone. Mind you, they're still full of super smart, dysfunctional weirdos. Spencer, who's now on the bottom of the totem pole, seems actually like he's got the best head on his shoulders. I really want to like Kass but am not convinced she gets the subtlety of this game... like not being honest all the time. And Tasha is turning out to be bossier than J'Tia, who, well... is a complete human train wreck. It was delightful watching Tasha bully everyone into practicing catching water with coconuts (which didn't really help them in the challenge... or maybe they would have been even worse without the practice? Shudder.). She bossed her teammates around figuring she knew exactly the best way to do it. "Nooooo, too high." "Nooooo, too much arc!" "Noooo, not in my FACE!" "Nooooooo, like THIS," as she holds the coconut shell up against her boobs and really leans into it while really, all the water just splashes all over her front. It was.... errrr... rather... ummm.... like she was entering a wet t-shirt contest rather than a Survivor challenge. (And...is there a difference all the time? Discuss.)

The challenge would win the top two teams a tarp, which everyone really wanted given that it's monsoon season and they'd all just been sitting in the rain for a few days straight. Now, I'm not saying I'd enjoy it either, but I really did enjoy the difference between the way some contestants handle the monsoon vs. others. This, my friends, is how you can tell who will do well on this show. While Jefra was whining about how cold and wet she was ("It's a nightmare!"), LJ went out for a rainy walk and found the immunity idol that Boobs McGee couldn't find on the first day (and hasn't - as far as we know - gone back to look for since.) While we're on that topic... I pray that girl sees herself on TV and goes out and buys some supportive bras and bathing suit tops or she's in for a later life of back pain and then boobs down to her knees. I can barely stand to watch her walk anywhere, let alone run for heaven's sakes. 

Where was I? Right. LJ went and found an idol... and on Team Brawn, Woo found the rain somewhat invigorating. "This is what Survivor's all about!" he said.  Right?  Jefra, it's called SURVIVOR. It's not called SPRING BREAK. Sigh. Also, I think Woo will be one of my favourites.

Meanwhile, at Brawn-town, Tony decided to come clean to Sarah that he's actually a cop. "I knew it!" says Sarah, and they bond over shared blue blood. Sarah trusts Tony completely while Tony tells us, "I don't trust anyone here."  I'm foreseeing a disaster... you?  Also, Tony - who let's not forget LIED to her in the first place, is now lying some more by telling her stories about NBA and Dreadlocks talking about her behind her back. Untrue, but good game play.  (Have we discussed yet how much I hate dreadlocks?  Unless you're a Jamaican reggae star, you shouldn't have them. Discuss.) 

So back to the challenge. The Brains team started out waaaaay behind the other teams, mostly because J'Tia is useless and dropped everything or threw the buckets on the ground, etc. Useless. But somehow, eventually, they caught up to the other teams, who were at the puzzle phase.  Brawn, all great competitors, excelled throughout the challenge and pulled off a win.  Brains finally did a good job at a puzzle (because J'Tia was not doing it - it was Spencer & Kass) and won second place.  The beautiful people were confounded by the puzzle.

Which brings us to Tribal Council.  I haven't even mentioned Jeremiah yet. (Ummm... and do all of the pretty people have southern accents and does it make them seem dumber? Discuss.) Jeremiah fancied himself in the middle of two alliances, but ended up siding with Alexis, Jefra and LJ against Brice. The obvious choice, since Morgan and Brice didn't have a fourth. And Brice was a sneaky threat - probably one of the smarter lovelies... and I use that term lightly, because I believe he also used the word 'strategics' at one point... but I think he might have actually used those strategics to get a lot further in the game.  I also very much enjoyed Jeff, whose face was once again priceless as he listened to the answers given by the Beautiful Tribe. Almost every single question was not actually answered, but referenced instead how thrilled they were to be around other beautiful people.
Brice: "Beauty is also inside and I have transformed from a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly."
Jefra: "It's like a big party full of beautiful people over here, Jeff." (ummm... or a nightmare.)

And so on. 

And then when Brice went home, his final words were bitchy and great. "They knew I was the cutest and best looking, so I had to go." Or something like that. Such a relief from all those people who get voted out 'cause they're a threat in the game, right? 

Brains, Brawn, Boobs & My Boyfriend, Jeff.

OK fans, what do we think of the whole Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty concept?  So far, to me anyway, it's not that interesting. Definitely not as interesting as last season's Blood vs. Water. Not to say there aren't interesting characters, because they are there for sure. It's ok as an idea, but it just ends up coming down to personalities, as it always does - which is what has made Survivor great from the get-go.  Here's what is interesting about it so far:

1) Team Brains is losing. While interesting, this isn't really that surprising.  The initial phase of Survivor is always about physical competition, so Brawn is doing pretty great at that. Also, ever hang out in a room full of people who all think they're smarter than everyone else? Well, there's bound to be trouble, which there has been in droves in the Brain tribe from the start with David, Garrett and J'Tia especially.

2) Team Beauty is doing so well, at least partly because they have zero to prove. If you're on Team Brawn, there's a lot of pressure to perform at the physical challenges. Team Brains has a lot of pressure to perform at the puzzle parts of the challenges (which J'Tia has famously cracked under). Unless Tyra Banks shows up for a catwalk challenge, Team Beauty just has to get along a bit, show up and do their best.  They already KNOW they're pretty.You can't take that away from them.

3) I do enjoy that it's Survivor, so you could really pluck almost anyone off any team and put them in Team Beauty. It is TV, after all.

4) The twist at the beginning was interesting. Each team had to pick a leader right off the bat (without knowing each other or even having talked to each other before.) The leader then had to pick someone to vote out right away. Then they get told that they're not getting voted out - they just are getting dropped off at their camps ahead of the others to "make a choice".  That choice turns out to be a clue to the hidden immunity idol or an extra bag of rice for the group.  Only one person - Trish the Pilates instructor - chooses for the group.  Turns out the group (aside from dreadlocks girl) now likes Trish quite a bit. Out of the other two, only one - Garrett from Brains - found the idol. Brains are good for something, it turns out. BUT... more on Garrett's brain later.

5) The different strategies from the leaders on voting people out.  David, from Brains, picked Garrett, the strongest guy on the team because he was "thinking way down the road".  This turned out to be a big mistake. You never, ever say in public that you're already "thinking way down the road"... Also everyone knows you don't vote out the strongest guys first. Survivor 101. Duh. Sarah, from Brawn, picked the Pilates girl, only because she's smaller and older - no hard feelings, that's what everyone would do, right? Then...dude who was the leader of Beauty picked Morgan because she has the biggest boobs. Well, fine, he didn't say that exactly. But she does. And he said he picked her because "she's hot, while the other girls are cute and I trust cute more than hot."  Uh, ok. As it turns out, Boobs McGee is quite a good liar. When her tribe showed up at the beach while she was looking for the immunity idol, she quickly came up with a lie that she was looking for food and that the choice she had to make was fishing gear over comfort items. They love her. Brilliant.

6) J'Tia is possibly the most horrible person to have NOT gotten voted off Survivor in the first two votes. This goes to show you how insufferable David and Garrett both were. J'Tia did the following: bossed everyone around on how to build the shelter while not lifting a finger to help, ended up with a horrible shelter that fell apart, was the weakest member physically on a team of nerds, lost twice at the puzzle after insisting she's good at puzzles, and then... and THEN, when told that she might get voted out (by Kass, who apparently is ok just telling people when they'll get voted out, completely misunderstanding one of the main facets of this game...) goes ahead and dumps out the teams entire bag of rice.  OK, any one of those things has gotten people voted out before. But, David proved to be a slippery weasel who was too smart for his own good and then there's Garrett, the professional poker player. Garrett took on boss duties as soon as David was gone, telling everyone how to vote and that they were just going to discuss who was going home and that no one was allowed to go off and have private conversations. Really?  Also, probably my favourite part of the whole episode was Garrett telling us how he really likes the whole mental, game-playing aspect of Survivor, but is really not into the whole "Survival part of Survivor".  heh heh.  Which brings me to one of my favourite questions to ask on the first day:  HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS SHOW BEFORE? Garrett ended up getting blindsided by Kass and Tasha, who figured J'Tia was a better ally than Garrett, thus putting them in positions one and two vs. three & four, and unknowingly getting rid of the guy with the idol to boot!  Well done, ladies.  I love that a guy on the BRAINS team got voted out with an idol. J'Tia will get her time, and likely will provide us with some good entertainment and eye-rolls in the meantime.

7) Every season, Jeff gets punchier and punchier. I adore how he yells at people that they're LOSING the challenge. It must be painfully obvious when you're struggling to say, complete a puzzle and then to have Jeff Probst yelling behind you, "You have got to get in this! This is the worst display of puzzle-doing I have ever seen in my career!" (Paraphrased, entirely.) I love it. Then at Tribal Council, he berates the tribe on their lack of knowledge on how to blindside someone.  Delightful. You see why he's always been my boyfriend, right?