There's No More Hope For the Fans

Oh come on, I had to use that title.  Oh, and I hope you enjoy this new look for the blog.  A few people had trouble reading the white-on-red in the other design, so enjoy the bamboo forest.

This episode mostly revolved around Shamar vs. Everybody, so let's start on the other side with the Favourites.  Our Faves are truckin' along and are a pretty happy bunch.  Malcolm & Corinne have found themselves buddied up & they go off looking for the hidden immunity idol.  And... yay!... they find it.  Let's be clear about this - it's in Malcolm's possession.  This will become important as some of the other Faves seem to be gunning for Corinne.  Corinne, it seems, is not trustworthy.  I think what this comes down to is Corinne not having a very great social game. When she was on in her season, she was a bit of a cow, now she's trying to soften up but obviously isn't making nice with everyone.  Cochran and Andrea in particular have picked her out as a threat.

So, to replace Corinne in the six-person alliance, Andrea & Cochran approach Brandon. How is Brandon a better choice than say, Erik, I'm not sure, unless they're looking for some more people who are nuts to keep around. Brandon tells us that he's in, but he's weary of their offer and he'll go down in a blaze of glory if they try to vote him out.  "I'll pee in the rice.  I'll pee in the beans."  You've got to admire his commitment to being crazy, then not crazy, then crazy again.

Meanwhile Philip's head gets bigger each episode. His Stealth R Us Corp. is strong, no one's fighting with him, he's doing well in challenges, his pink y-fronts are holding together, and he's developed a "cooling system" that involves wearing a basket on your head.... life is good for Philip.  He tells us how he's in great shape.... how he plays basketball with men who are half his age and "twice his height."  Giants!  And, that he's got the moves like Larry Bird, making him "old school."  Got it?

But back to Shamar.  Shamar has got some issues.  He loses his mind at pretty much his whole tribe after they come back from the previous tribal council. Continues to fight with Reynold. Then says he wants to quit. Of course. Why?  'Cause he's not happy.  Now... before we all lose our minds at Shamar.... we start to get a bit of why Shamar is Shamar.  He tells us that he's done 2 tours in Iraq... that he's seen/done a lot of things that I'm sure we can't imagine, that he had a really tough time adjusting when he got home and became an alcoholic with serious anger issues.  And now, if you're Shamar and you have to deal with spoiled brats like Reynold all day... and dealing with these people is making you return to your dark angry place, yeah ok... I sort of can see how quitting Survivor might seem like a good option.  I'm not saying I think Shamar would be my first choice for a camping trip buddy, but I think we can all take a step back and 'get' Shamar. Personally, I still like Shamar more than I like Reynold and his crew of 'cool kids'.  And so does Sherri.

Sherri totally gets Shamar. In one scene, she tells us how she owns fast food franchises and deals with "snot-nosed kids" all the time (making me think her uh... employees... are not going to be too thrilled to be called that on TV by their boss...).  She's smartly thinking big picture and long term.  She calls Shamar her "Philip"... meaning that you find the person who bugs everyone the most and you keep them close to you, bring them with you to the end.  Right?  As long as you are a very patient person.  Boston Rob nearly murdered Philip on a few occasions, and I'm sure Sherri's in for a tough one with Shamar.  She and Laura were able to appeal to his sense of loyalty and convince him to stay, much to the dismay of Reynold & Eddie & Hope. 

At one point, Shamar nearly blows it by telling Hope that she could avoid going home by voting for Eddie. This became the plan - split the vote in case they play the idol.  3 votes for Eddie and 3 votes for Hope. All Hope had to do was vote for Eddie and she could have saved herself.  She should have listened to Shamar. Really, what did she have to lose?  Oh, gee, Reynold would think she's disloyal.  Well, no one likes Reynold anyway, and maybe the others would see that she can work with them.  Nope.

Instead, Shamar made his own troops - especially Julia & Laura - freak out.  At one point Laura even went over to Reynold and said she'd see if she could get more people to vote for Shamar.  Calmer heads (Sherri) must have prevailed because the plan stuck. (Oh, did I mention that the Fans lost the immunity challenge again?)  3 votes Eddie, 3 votes Hope, 3 votes Shamar, no immunity idol in play.  (Wouldn't it have been delightful if they'd blindsided Reynold?)  So it goes to a re-vote.  You can only vote for Eddie, Hope or Shamar.  Hope gets the boot.  See ya later, dummy.  Serves her right for canoodling with Eddie instead of playing the game.  Perhaps next time she and Allie should try out for the Bachelorette instead. It kind of annoys me, as I would like to see more strong girls like Sherri who are actually playing the game instead of almost every season having to see dumb girls like Hope get their butts squeezed by guys like Eddie who gets to keep playing because he's a big strong dude.  I did enjoy when Reynold & Eddie acknowledged the predicament they're in as "Revenge of the Nerds".... and would invite them to read this blog to learn about why the nerds always ALWAYS do well in this game while the frat boys do not.

Battle of the Bulge

Sorry for the very late blog. The flu knocked me on my butt for the past 5 days.  And yes, I got my flu shot. Just that lucky, I guess. 

So... on to Survivor.  Trying to remember what happened.. and apologies for this lacklustre blog....  Right.  Well, we're starting to see Baby Hantz unravel.  He's showing the same Jekyll & Hyde personality from last time where he's a total weirdo one minute and then all nice and very sorry the next. I would not want this guy in my alliance. All you have to do is look at him wrong and he flips out.  Look at poor Dawn.  She tried calmly talking to Baby about why she voted for Francesca and he basically told her that she'll lose because she's stupid. Something like that. Dawn, who's way too nice to be on this show, cried.  Of course.  I probably would have too - it's hard to deal with people who are so illogical.  Then Baby goes on about how he's gonna go all Russell Hantz on everyone and mess with the tribe.  Then the next day, look, he's very sorry and doesn't want to do that at all.

But when Baby tries to chat up The Specialist, he's told that he's "middle management" while Phil is the "CEO".  Baby's on a "need-to-know" basis.  Phil - smartly? - wants nothing to do with Baby.  Which one is crazier here?  When you're making Phil look like that rational one... well....  that says a lot.  Phil lets us know that he doesn't trust Baby because of his "narcisstic" personality.  Yes, that's new English.  You learned it here first.

Meanwhile, Shamar annoys the heck out of most people over in the Fans camp.  He's lazy.  Or, uh, "conserving his energy".... And then we meet Sherri.  Hello, where were you on episode one?  I love Sherri.  First of all - she looks like a blonde Sandra Bullock.  Second, she's playing the game hard, while totally hanging under the radar.  She reels in Shamar, tells him that her alliance wants him and plots against the cool kids.  Nice! 

The other important thing that happened is that Reynold found an immunity idol.  This would have been interesting enough, but it gets better.  Laura (again, nice to meet you!) sees "a bulge" in Reynold's pants (I am not even making this up.) and can't mention anything to her tribe mates, as it's right before they are all leaving to go to Tribal Council. (Oh yeah, the Fans lost the immunity challenge....)  So, she VERY cleverly brings it up at Tribal.  Again... "I saw a bulge in Reynold's pants."  So Reynold, because he's not super smart, has to think on the spot and he just confesses. Yeah, I've got the idol and I'm going to play it tonight. Brilliant move by Laura to flush out the idol. Whether he plays it or not (he didn't), now everyone knows he has it.  Also, we got to talk at length at Tribal Council about a bulge in someone's pants.  Hee.

So who had to go home?  Reynold's GF, Allie.  We saw this coming already, didn't we?  You don't start cuddling on day one and expect not to get voted out.  It's a dumb move. As I said last time, it's always the girl who gets booted first, too.  They keep the dudes around longer to win challenges.  So, I had no sympathy for her at the end when she said she'd been a fan for half her life (oh man!) and loves the show so so much.... Well then, you should know better, dummy.  That's like Survivor 101.  Also, if you're going to form a 'cool kids' alliance of couples, you'd better understand math.  Four out of ten is not a majority.  They counted on everyone else being as annoyed with Shamar as they were.  And maybe everyone else is annoyed with Shamar. It's possible that Shamar is annoyed with Shamar.  (Are you enjoying Shamar's come-back to everything..?  "Shut up!"  heh...) But they forgot that it's Survivor and not high school.  You have to be smart - not just pretty - to win Survivor.  Now Eddie, Hope and Reynold are on the outs with the group & they'll have to suck up.  Especially Hope. She should be trying to make friends FAST.  But I don't hold out a lot of hope for Hope. She better pray that Baby causes trouble over in the Faves camp.

Malcolm & The Specialist vs A Bunch of Other Charming Weirdos

Welcome to Season #26 of Survivor. It's in the Caraomoan Islands (yes, I had to look it up too. It's in the Philippines. Which makes me wonder if Jeff & Malcolm even went home in between filming seasons?) and it's Fans vs. Favourites.  Or, as I preferred to call it:  Malcolm vs. A bunch of losers.  I wasn't very happy with the theme this year.  After all, how many of these people - aside from Malcolm - can we truly call 'Favourites'???  I mean, is there anyone out there who's like, "Brenda is my favourite Survivor EVER!"  Well, maybe Brenda's parents.  Most of these people lost for good reason. Enough with the second (and third and fourth) chances already.  Sigh.

But then, of course I watched and of course I enjoyed it.  Dammit!  That Mark Burnett got me AGAIN.  It is only the first episode, but so far I'm enjoying the weird cast of characters.  Are you?  Let me know what you think....

Let's start with the Fans. We haven't met all of them yet, but there are some pretty interesting dynamics going on.  Of course, 'cause they're rookies, there's romance (and by romance, I mean bum-squeezing and making out) between Reynold and Allie.  Dumb move.  Did Allie not watch last season when that blond girl with the big boobs (Angie?) got voted out because she was cuddling too much with Malcolm?  They keep the boys around at the beginning for their strength in challenges, so who will be the one to go, Allie?  It won't be Reynold, dummy.  Reynold & Dummy's BFFs are Eddie and Hope, who also seem to be hooking up, though a little less blatantly.  They are all terribly good-looking and they all know it, and they even had a pow-wow in which they described it as "just like high school" where they are the cool kids and everyone wants to hang with them.  Again, here's the thing.... just like in life where the cool kids often grow up to develop coke habits or become bored, soccer-mom divorcees while the nerds go on to own software companies and take over the world.... (what?).... the cool kids on Survivor often get voted out for being cocky, smug, mean jerks.  I mean, do these people not watch the other season?  It's been Revenge of the Nerds for years now. 

So there's that.  Then, there's some crazy man-drama between Matt and Shamar.  Matt is a "BMX Sales Dude" (paraphrased) with the craziest beard ever to be on this show.  It's shaggy, then it has this beard dreadlock thing that hangs down in the middle. See figure 1:
  Wowsers, right?  Now, beard aside, Matt seems to be a pretty good guy (again, it's only show number one.) Matt knew he wasn't a "fire guy" so decided to get to work building the shelter.  He worked hard, got a lot accomplished.  Shamar, on the other hand, thought this was a ridiculous idea.  Shamar, a big, tough ex-Marine, who's an Iraq war vet, decided to sit down and pout about how no one was making fire so they could have water.  Then he got mad at Matt for building the shelter instead. Yikes.  You usually don't see people get mad at teammates for uh, doing good work, do you?  Anyway, Shamar finally decided he could build the fire better than anyone else and got up off his Marine ass and did it. So poor Matt has to watch everyone fawn over Shamar for his excellent fire-building skills, while Matt's like... hey, I just built you this awesome thing to sleep in over here.... hey.... over here.....

Back to Shamar for one second.... Did you see the shot of him uh... stretching?  Dude is lying on his back on the beach and could put his leg up over his head without any bend in the knee... Impressive. Perhaps he moonlights as a gymnast?  And then there's the part during the reward challenge where they're all having to wrestle in the water and he yells at his teammate to "break her wrist!!"  Which leads to a delightful pause as pretty much everyone stops and looks over at him, while Jeff Probst says, "WHAT?"  "Uh, I meant break the HOLD on her wrist...." says Shamar, sheepishly.  Uh huh.

Not much else to mention yet about the Fans.  I'm interested to see more of Julia, the race car driver.  And Michael, the event planner... I like him so far.  He seems to be able to get along with everyone, making him pretty dangerous.  Oh, and Matt and Shamar seem to have put their fight behind them.... for now.  Our Fans lost their first challenge, but then came back to win the immunity challenge in the final seconds due to Reynold's impeccable sandbag tossing skills. Reynold is the new Malcolm?  Discuss.

Over on Team Favourites.... I have to say that I enjoyed the Favourites more than I thought I would.  I forgot how much I liked Cochran, first of all.  Cochran is the uber-nerd (watch out for him! See above, re: taking over the world.) who wears a sweater-vest to a tropical island.  But, he's also so smart and well-spoken and self-depricating... that he becomes really very charming.  Also, having done this before, he's much less nervous & more confident than last time.  However, having done this before, you'd think he'd have hit the tanning beds a bit.  He burned like a lobster in about 2 min of being in the sun... even his feet were swollen and puffy.  It was interesting to see that his name did not come up once in discussions of who to vote out, even though he's arguably the weakest member of the tribe.  I like that he's friendly with Dawn again also.  And I also like Dawn very much.  I liked her on their season - especially how she originally looked like she was going to crash & burn but then picked herself up and started kicking butt (not unlike Lisa last season.)  Even though it's not my thing, I enjoy how she tries to play the game 'honourably' as a nice person.  I like that she didn't hold onto any bad feelings toward Cochran for getting her voted out on their season.  You can't  help but like Dawn.

The other "unlikeable" types seem much friendlier this time out as well.  Brenda, so far, is not being slutty flirty & evil, and Corinne seems like she's trying to be nice (though, the word 'untrustworthy' got batted around regarding her a lot last night.)  Even Baby Hantz (Brandon) seems like he's gotten over the fact that women are in their underwear (harlots!) and seems to be more himself now that there's no secret about the fact that he's Russell's nephew.  I mean, he's still hard to take with all that chest pounding, but at least he's enthusiastic.  I'd want him on my team in competitions.  Next week, however, it looks like he tries to pull a bit of Russell Hantz... so maybe he's done with that holier-than-thou business?  We shall see.

Then there's Phillip.  Oh good lord.  I keep trying to figure if he's REALLY like that, or if it's an act.  The cynical part of me wants to think it's an act put on for TV, but I just don't know how someone can keep that up all the time.  I think he's truly nuts.  He's making alliances with everyone (calling them BR alliances, which stands for Boston Rob....), giving everyone nicknames... Andrea is the"Eliminator" while Corinne is the "Dominatrix" and Cochran is the "Intelligentsia Attache"... Phillip says he will "remain in the background as the "Specialist"...the Undercover Brother."  Got it?  Then he goes and talks to Erik and tells him that he's made this 6-person alliance and doesn't really need him, but would like to have  him involved... but if he's not, then he'll get voted out... but if he is, whatever.  Weird.  Erik, understandably, thinks Phillip is a top-notch jerk-face.  And yes, Phillip is still wearing the fuchsia y-fronts he made famous last time out.  A different pair, I think.  Probably got a 2-pack.

Andrea, meanwhile, tries to also make alliances all over the place.  First with Francesca & Dawn.  Then with Phil (remember, she's the Eliminator), so when Francesca mentions to her that maybe they should get rid of crazy Phillip first, Andrea runs right over to him and tells him the news.  Eventually, it gets around that she's playing both sides (as it usually does) and her name is up on the chopping block.  Unfortunately for Francesca, Phillips Undercover Brother Crazy Alliance actually worked.  You simply can't be on the wrong side of that guy, crazy or not.  Boston Rob kept him around 'til the final three for a reason. He's nuts, no one is going to vote for him.  Yet, BR was able to (barely) keep Phil's crazy under control.  I would LOVE to watch an episode of this season's Survivor with Boston Rob.  Seriously. Can we set that up?  You've got to feel bad for Francesca for getting voted out first two times (I'm betting she wishes she could take back saying, "If I'm first out again, I'll eat a rock." and "I'll drown myself in the ocean if I get voted out first again." I was happy to hear her be quite reflective at the end, saying that she's just not cut out for Survivor and that at least she's made Survivor history... but that yeah, she's now going to cheer for the Fans.  Hee hee.

And Malcolm... well, he's started off well.  His name hasn't come up.  He's playing a bit under the radar so far, not trying to be the star and being friendly to everyone.  He even played through during the reward challenge with no pants on.  Now that's commitment.  (Uh, to clarify, his shorts fell/got pulled down in the challenge while wrestling for the ring in the water.   He didn't just choose to do the challenge naked.)  I still think it's his game to lose.  More to come....