Hell Hath No Fury....

Oh my.  Phillip was once again the STAR, wasn't he?  He was so good last night, that I had to rewind the PVR (is 'rewind' still the right word?) and listen again because the amazingness that was coming out of his mouth was too much for just one watch. 

Phillip Gets His Freak On, Part I

First, there was a lot of drama at camp Rob due to those stupid girls & their spa day.  All they do is sit around and suntan and pick at each other like monkeys at the zoo.  They were actually plucking each other's eyebrows and armpit hairs... yes. Now, I have a feeling they're not the first Survivor girls to do this, but they are the first ones to do so on Phillip's watch.  Now, Phil comes from a large family and has told us how he had to go to work in high school & of course then there was the military.  So we can fault him for a lot of things, but work ethic ain't one of them.  So, he basically lost it on those girls (Ashley and Natalie are indeed their names, but it doesn't really matter.  Don't get attached.) who in turn pretty much gave him the ol' talk to the hand, and the patented "You're not my father!" response.  And when he told them that he didn't have to say anything to the boys or to "An-DRAY-ah" and then they yell at him the proper pronunciation: "ANdreeah".... Heh.  (Whose name will he screw up next?  Nay-tal-ie?)  The best was Rob, who delights in the whole thing as entertainment.  Rob says to Grant, "They're 20 year-old girls... they're not going to do anything & I'm not going to be the one to try to make them."  And then he tells us that it's fine by him - the more they don't do and the more they annoy everyone, the better for him.  Why would anyone give them a million dollars?  So true.  And again, totally amazing to me that people would go on the show and treat it like a beach vacation.  But, Rob is right.  They are 20.  That said, it is frightening to me that Ashley is a nurse.

The Duel

Matt prevails AGAIN!  So even though Phillip was the star of the episode, let's talk about how much of a star Matt is.  He is television gold - we root for him because he's the good guy, he's so nice, he's handsome, we like his ponytail (Kylie!) and he's SO amazing at the challenges.  You can't script this stuff, I don't care how many people try to argue this point with me!  Last night's challenge totally could have gone either way.  It didn't involve strength - and I have to say I enjoy how all the Redemption Island challenges so far have been either puzzles or skill games - so it doesn't matter if it's a strong dude vs. a girl or whatever.  Krista was winning the challenge out of the gate & she was super good at the first part.  But Matt's calmness again won the day as he took his time, caught up and did better at the second half of the challenge while Krista faltered. The two of them were kind of cute, praying together before hand (though not being that sort, it seemed a bit much to me, non?) and then it was nice that Krista gave her Bible to Matt when she got voted out.  The best part though, was that Andrea was watching and got SO jealous.  She says to us something like, "I thought Matt and I had bonded, but there was obviously a strong bond between him and Krista, so I don't know. Maybe Matt is dangerous!"  Hee hee.  Watch out Matt... Hell hath no fury....  (wait for it....)

The Challenge & The Aftermath:  Phillip's Freak Part II

Team Rob DOMINATED the challenge.  Grant, the former football star, handed Mike, the former Marine, his ass.  It was delightful to watch... When Mike tries to hold Grant back by grabbing his shirt & it rips, Grant just rips off the shirt and throws it at Mike.  (Uh, ladies.... and some gentlemen.... how was THAT for good TV, right? Hubba hubba!)  (Did I just type "hubba hubba"? Oh dear.)  Right.  So, team steel wool was useless.  David actually yelled at one point, "Guys!  Keep your eyes open!"  Now I don't know if you've played any sports before, but this kind of comment would basically make you want to punch David in the throat. 

Team Rob won a picnic up on a scenic cliff & this is where the best amazingness of the show happens.  First bit of amazingness was Rob, looking up at the GIANT statue of what is quite obviously Jesus, saying, "I wonder who that statue is?"  And someone saying, "It's Jesus, idiot."  (OK, the "idiot" part was added by me.)  Note that it even SAYS "Jesus" at the base of the statue. 

So the next bit of amazingness was Phillip, of course.  Phil catches Grant grabbing the hidden immunity clue and going off with Rob to look at it.  So, natch, they share it with Phillip.  But Phil tells us a couple of things. First, that he's so glad to be in an alliance with them, that he has even come up with a name for their alliance:

STEALTH R US:  In which "I am the specialist, Rob is the mentalist, and Grant is the assassin." 

Right?  So good. It got better.  How? When Phil tells us that he's a little cheesed that Rob & Grant may have been trying to keep the clue from him, and that they'd better watch out because he and the UNITED STATES are going to come after them... and then this:

"Hell hath no fury like a lion (points to one tattoo) or a gorilla (points to other tattoo).....(pause while he thinks of how the rest of that is supposed to go....)....... when it THINKS IT'S BEEN PROVOKED."

Best. Quote. Ever. 

You don't have to actually provoke the lion or the gorilla apparently, you just have to make it THINK it's been provoked.  Ha!  Oh my god, Phillip makes my life.

Green Pumps vs Annoying Toothache

Over at Team Steel Wool, the choice was clearly between Stephanie and Sarita.  Stephanie seemed like an obvious choice, but did her best to redeem herself a little with people like Steve, who bullied her into saying why she voted for him.  (Uh, she had to vote for SOMEONE on your alliance.  Who cares?)  I liked Steph lying there saying "How do I try to suck up to people I hate?  Why didn't I learn this in school?"...  Hee. Anyway, David hates Sarita ever since she didn't let him to the puzzle, remember?  David, who himself is super annoying and a bully ("I will be doing the puzzles from now on. Period." Remember?) and who is now digging his own grave by not voting with his group.  He hates Sarita so tries hard to get his team to vote for her - someone they all trust - instead of Stephanie.  He tries to make the case that Stephanie is stronger in challenges - which on the surface seems true, but actually isn't.  We've seen Steph personally screw up two challenges in a row for her team.  Fiesty, sure.  Winner, not so much.  She fools you into thinking she's tough.  Even when she got voted out, I thought to myself, she'll give Matt a run for his money!  Then I thought, no... actually, Jesus will make sure Matt beats her.  Kidding... that's not what I thought... But I do think Matt will win their duel.  And naturally, the team can see through David's arguement to the fact that he really just doesn't like Sarita.  So now that Stephanie is gone, who does he suppose will be the next  one they vote out?  Hmmm?  For a lawyer, David isn't actually that smart. 

A final bit of amazingness to leave you with.  Ralph's spelling continues to be atrocious.  First it was "Ressell" then "Krasta" and now "Stifinie"...  Wow.  At least he can chop wood.