OK, so first off, can I vent about whose stupid idea it was to have the Survivor finale on Mother's Day? Uh, that was rude! How am I supposed to give my mother and/or mother-in-law all my attention when clearly I need to watch 2 hours of Survivor, plus the 1 hour reunion show! Come ON, CBS!! In addition, the series finale of Desperate Housewives is on the same night! Really?
Deep breaths... now. As to last night's Survivor episode. What did you think? If I'm them, I'd have done the same thing and voted off Tarzan. I really think there are enough dudes on the jury who'd give it to him if he made it to the final 3 just because he's another dude. Possible. Then there's the fact that Tarzan went up & told Kim that if he gets voted out, he'll do his best to convince the other jury members to vote for her. Ummm.... why the hell wouldn't I vote off Tarzan if I'm Kim?
Then there's the fact that Tarzan is just kind of annoying. He admits it. He can be a grumpy old man. And then he throws out stuff like when he said, "You bitch!" to Chelsea, when she won the reward challenge. I mean, it's one thing if a girl says it. It's fine. It's fine if Colton were to say it. It's fine if Tarzan is your BFF and he says it. It's a little less fine when Tarzan is just a grumpy old man you're stuck living with, he's already commented on your boob job, and now he's calling you a bitch. Every girl there was like, WTF, Tarzan? What did you just say? Well, he covered as well as he could and thankfully no one felt like jumping on him for it. He didn't mean it in THAT way.... it was meant in fun. Or was it? Hmmm....
Then there was the part where Tarzan was making some kind of coconut delicacy - presumably to share - and declared that he was going to make it how he wanted and don't bother him. The girls pushed him on it, because it seemed his plan was to rinse the coconut using one of the buffs that everyone has worn and are super gross. Again, Tarzan with the microbes and how he (as a plastic surgeon) knows way more about microbes than you or I. Fair. He probably does. Does that mean that I want my supper drained through someone else's sweaty, gross, dirty, dusty, disgusting piece of clothing? Nope.
And apparently after Kat got the boot, Tarzan went through her stuff. She was kind of dumb not to take it with her, mind you.... but still. Girls don't like it when you go through their stuff. I'm not sure anyone likes it, frankly. But he showed up to Tribal Council wearing her pink tank top and if that's not bad enough, it comes out that he was wearing a pair of her panties on his head. So, A) how did this gem not make it onto the show??? Did we see him with the panties on his head? (I may have missed this due to one crazy big black dog in my house...) and B) again with the microbes when he was confronted about it. Like that's all the girls are worried about - the microbes. It couldn't possibly be that no girl would want some gross, grumpy old dude in a dirty, potentially-poo-covered blue banana hammock wearing their panties on his head. Nope, couldn't be that. Must be the microbes.
So he was good TV, but he's gone and I can't blame them for voting him out. Oh, and he recited a poem as his parting words... You've got to love that. See? That's a first. Good TV. Poor millionaire doctor won't be able to get those much-needed shocks for his car now. Sad.
Now we're left with 5 girls... 4 were in an original alliance: Kim, Chelsea, Sabrina & Alicia plus Christina as the fifth. The obvious winner here is Kim. She's still got the immunity idol so will be in the top 4 no matter what. She's beatable in challenges as Alicia (!!!) proved in the immunity challenge last night. But.... she's not easily beatable. So the question becomes this: Does Kim take her BFFs Chelsea & Sabrina to the final 3 or does she take 2 people she could actually win against - Alicia & Christina? If she's smart - and I think she is - she does the latter.
We also need to mention how Chelsea - when she won the reward - said she was going to be fair and pick people who deserved to go with her on the yacht. So, she's going to pick Tarzan & Christina, right? Wrong. Picked Sabrina & Kim. Sigh. Even Alicia was rooting for Christina to go....
I find it endlessly fascinating how these relationships change over time and how much we probably don't know. Look at Christina & Alicia. Remember how much Alicia hated Christina at the beginning and how mean she was? Now, she's sort of been in an alliance with Christina because they were the only ones left from the Manono tribe. So Alicia gets these moments of clarity when she realizes that people like Chelsea need to go because she's so tight with Kim. She figures maybe Kim is playing both sides. Then Kim talks to her and Kim holds this power over her like Kim is the coolest girl in school and she's invited Alicia the self-described "ghetto Puerto Rican" into her inner circle. This is why Kim will win. She has this ability to - as Tarzan put it - bat her big blue eyes at you and you believe her. Even Sabrina can see it - she at one point said how amazing Kim was at "almost looking through you" and saying what you need to hear. Kim herself said out loud to Chelsea & Sabrina that sometimes she doesn't even know when she's lying. She's good. (Aside: somehow her moustache seems to be gone now too? Conspiracy? Speaking of which, Kat looked HOT on the jury, non? Don't you love seeing everyone dolled up? Then there's the part where Tarzan says bye to everyone and gets the bird flipped at him by Mike. Yowch!)
So, it's friends and you look like an awesome person who keeps their word to their pals.... or jerks you can win against and you look like a smart player. She really can't lose at this point. She could only lose immunity at final four a la Ozzy and get voted out by the other 3 who know they can't win against her. That's the only possible scenario. Otherwise, let's catch up on Monday when Kim gets her cheque for a million bucks. Next week, we'll talk about the season a bit more. I will always love the show, but somehow they managed to take a super interesting premise and turn it into predictable and lacklustre in a lot of ways. Or is it the cast of characters? Thoughts?
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