Malcolm & The Specialist vs A Bunch of Other Charming Weirdos

Welcome to Season #26 of Survivor. It's in the Caraomoan Islands (yes, I had to look it up too. It's in the Philippines. Which makes me wonder if Jeff & Malcolm even went home in between filming seasons?) and it's Fans vs. Favourites.  Or, as I preferred to call it:  Malcolm vs. A bunch of losers.  I wasn't very happy with the theme this year.  After all, how many of these people - aside from Malcolm - can we truly call 'Favourites'???  I mean, is there anyone out there who's like, "Brenda is my favourite Survivor EVER!"  Well, maybe Brenda's parents.  Most of these people lost for good reason. Enough with the second (and third and fourth) chances already.  Sigh.

But then, of course I watched and of course I enjoyed it.  Dammit!  That Mark Burnett got me AGAIN.  It is only the first episode, but so far I'm enjoying the weird cast of characters.  Are you?  Let me know what you think....

Let's start with the Fans. We haven't met all of them yet, but there are some pretty interesting dynamics going on.  Of course, 'cause they're rookies, there's romance (and by romance, I mean bum-squeezing and making out) between Reynold and Allie.  Dumb move.  Did Allie not watch last season when that blond girl with the big boobs (Angie?) got voted out because she was cuddling too much with Malcolm?  They keep the boys around at the beginning for their strength in challenges, so who will be the one to go, Allie?  It won't be Reynold, dummy.  Reynold & Dummy's BFFs are Eddie and Hope, who also seem to be hooking up, though a little less blatantly.  They are all terribly good-looking and they all know it, and they even had a pow-wow in which they described it as "just like high school" where they are the cool kids and everyone wants to hang with them.  Again, here's the thing.... just like in life where the cool kids often grow up to develop coke habits or become bored, soccer-mom divorcees while the nerds go on to own software companies and take over the world.... (what?).... the cool kids on Survivor often get voted out for being cocky, smug, mean jerks.  I mean, do these people not watch the other season?  It's been Revenge of the Nerds for years now. 

So there's that.  Then, there's some crazy man-drama between Matt and Shamar.  Matt is a "BMX Sales Dude" (paraphrased) with the craziest beard ever to be on this show.  It's shaggy, then it has this beard dreadlock thing that hangs down in the middle. See figure 1:
  Wowsers, right?  Now, beard aside, Matt seems to be a pretty good guy (again, it's only show number one.) Matt knew he wasn't a "fire guy" so decided to get to work building the shelter.  He worked hard, got a lot accomplished.  Shamar, on the other hand, thought this was a ridiculous idea.  Shamar, a big, tough ex-Marine, who's an Iraq war vet, decided to sit down and pout about how no one was making fire so they could have water.  Then he got mad at Matt for building the shelter instead. Yikes.  You usually don't see people get mad at teammates for uh, doing good work, do you?  Anyway, Shamar finally decided he could build the fire better than anyone else and got up off his Marine ass and did it. So poor Matt has to watch everyone fawn over Shamar for his excellent fire-building skills, while Matt's like... hey, I just built you this awesome thing to sleep in over here.... hey.... over here.....

Back to Shamar for one second.... Did you see the shot of him uh... stretching?  Dude is lying on his back on the beach and could put his leg up over his head without any bend in the knee... Impressive. Perhaps he moonlights as a gymnast?  And then there's the part during the reward challenge where they're all having to wrestle in the water and he yells at his teammate to "break her wrist!!"  Which leads to a delightful pause as pretty much everyone stops and looks over at him, while Jeff Probst says, "WHAT?"  "Uh, I meant break the HOLD on her wrist...." says Shamar, sheepishly.  Uh huh.

Not much else to mention yet about the Fans.  I'm interested to see more of Julia, the race car driver.  And Michael, the event planner... I like him so far.  He seems to be able to get along with everyone, making him pretty dangerous.  Oh, and Matt and Shamar seem to have put their fight behind them.... for now.  Our Fans lost their first challenge, but then came back to win the immunity challenge in the final seconds due to Reynold's impeccable sandbag tossing skills. Reynold is the new Malcolm?  Discuss.

Over on Team Favourites.... I have to say that I enjoyed the Favourites more than I thought I would.  I forgot how much I liked Cochran, first of all.  Cochran is the uber-nerd (watch out for him! See above, re: taking over the world.) who wears a sweater-vest to a tropical island.  But, he's also so smart and well-spoken and self-depricating... that he becomes really very charming.  Also, having done this before, he's much less nervous & more confident than last time.  However, having done this before, you'd think he'd have hit the tanning beds a bit.  He burned like a lobster in about 2 min of being in the sun... even his feet were swollen and puffy.  It was interesting to see that his name did not come up once in discussions of who to vote out, even though he's arguably the weakest member of the tribe.  I like that he's friendly with Dawn again also.  And I also like Dawn very much.  I liked her on their season - especially how she originally looked like she was going to crash & burn but then picked herself up and started kicking butt (not unlike Lisa last season.)  Even though it's not my thing, I enjoy how she tries to play the game 'honourably' as a nice person.  I like that she didn't hold onto any bad feelings toward Cochran for getting her voted out on their season.  You can't  help but like Dawn.

The other "unlikeable" types seem much friendlier this time out as well.  Brenda, so far, is not being slutty flirty & evil, and Corinne seems like she's trying to be nice (though, the word 'untrustworthy' got batted around regarding her a lot last night.)  Even Baby Hantz (Brandon) seems like he's gotten over the fact that women are in their underwear (harlots!) and seems to be more himself now that there's no secret about the fact that he's Russell's nephew.  I mean, he's still hard to take with all that chest pounding, but at least he's enthusiastic.  I'd want him on my team in competitions.  Next week, however, it looks like he tries to pull a bit of Russell Hantz... so maybe he's done with that holier-than-thou business?  We shall see.

Then there's Phillip.  Oh good lord.  I keep trying to figure if he's REALLY like that, or if it's an act.  The cynical part of me wants to think it's an act put on for TV, but I just don't know how someone can keep that up all the time.  I think he's truly nuts.  He's making alliances with everyone (calling them BR alliances, which stands for Boston Rob....), giving everyone nicknames... Andrea is the"Eliminator" while Corinne is the "Dominatrix" and Cochran is the "Intelligentsia Attache"... Phillip says he will "remain in the background as the "Specialist"...the Undercover Brother."  Got it?  Then he goes and talks to Erik and tells him that he's made this 6-person alliance and doesn't really need him, but would like to have  him involved... but if he's not, then he'll get voted out... but if he is, whatever.  Weird.  Erik, understandably, thinks Phillip is a top-notch jerk-face.  And yes, Phillip is still wearing the fuchsia y-fronts he made famous last time out.  A different pair, I think.  Probably got a 2-pack.

Andrea, meanwhile, tries to also make alliances all over the place.  First with Francesca & Dawn.  Then with Phil (remember, she's the Eliminator), so when Francesca mentions to her that maybe they should get rid of crazy Phillip first, Andrea runs right over to him and tells him the news.  Eventually, it gets around that she's playing both sides (as it usually does) and her name is up on the chopping block.  Unfortunately for Francesca, Phillips Undercover Brother Crazy Alliance actually worked.  You simply can't be on the wrong side of that guy, crazy or not.  Boston Rob kept him around 'til the final three for a reason. He's nuts, no one is going to vote for him.  Yet, BR was able to (barely) keep Phil's crazy under control.  I would LOVE to watch an episode of this season's Survivor with Boston Rob.  Seriously. Can we set that up?  You've got to feel bad for Francesca for getting voted out first two times (I'm betting she wishes she could take back saying, "If I'm first out again, I'll eat a rock." and "I'll drown myself in the ocean if I get voted out first again." I was happy to hear her be quite reflective at the end, saying that she's just not cut out for Survivor and that at least she's made Survivor history... but that yeah, she's now going to cheer for the Fans.  Hee hee.

And Malcolm... well, he's started off well.  His name hasn't come up.  He's playing a bit under the radar so far, not trying to be the star and being friendly to everyone.  He even played through during the reward challenge with no pants on.  Now that's commitment.  (Uh, to clarify, his shorts fell/got pulled down in the challenge while wrestling for the ring in the water.   He didn't just choose to do the challenge naked.)  I still think it's his game to lose.  More to come....