Chickens 3, Roosters 0

The girls finally got their act together at a time when it seemed like they wouldn't.  They battled through some terrible conditions, with the rain pouring down on them only to emerge stronger in the end.  Sort of. 

As much as I'm all for the statement above... I still can't figure out why the girls suck so much at making a fire.  Their fire goes out in the rain.... OK, I get that.  The boys have a waterproof tarp and the girls don't.  But they can't even seem to know what to do when they're given an ember by the boys... which was a pretty nice gesture.  Then, when a few girls keep coming back to the boys' fire to keep warm, the boys say.... you know, you should probably share something of yours since we gave you the fire.  Seems fair, right?  Not these girls.  A few of them at least (Alicia, Chelsea...) seem genuinely put out that the boys would ask for something in return.  No wonder then that the dudes find these girls pretty spoiled and awful, right? 

The girls won a reward - fishing gear and a canoe - in a memory challenge that the boys completely tanked at.  There was one lovely moment when Kat was up against.... who? Troyzan I think?  And they had to re-do the challenge like eight times because neither one could get it right.  Hee.  Kat eventually did.  Seems the poor girl needs eight tries to get most things right.  But the girls won, used the canoe to go get some little fish and had their spririts greatly lifted. 

Someone just asked me how it was that everyone seemed so dry for the challenge when it was pouring rain.  I don't have an answer for that.  Jeff - well he's magic.  The others... hard to say.  Not sure if it had just started raining, or if maybe they get to wait somewhere dry while the challenge is prepared.... If you know, please share. 

The boys blew a huge lead in the immunity challenge.  Bill had to call directions in one of those blindfold challenges, which he did well.... then he had to do the puzzle, which he did not do very well.  Sabrina wasn't the best at the directions part but then she kicked butt at the puzzle.  Girls win.  Now's when it gets interesting.

The Ab-4.  Let's discuss for a minute how a four-man alliance thought they'd be safe.  Ummmm.... can't they do math?  There are 9 guys.  4 are in your alliance.  5 are not.  How did they let this happen?  Matt... a lawyer with his own law firm, Matthew J. Quinlan Law Offices, did not foresee this being a problem.  I honestly think he just figured that they are the cool, popular jocks and no one would vote them out because they are so strong.  Ummm... have you ever seen this show?  How long do the muscle guys usually last?  (Well, honestly, they usually do last longer than this.... but not when they make dumbass alliances.)  So when the guys lose the challenge and Matt finally does the math... he sees the other five talking.  So does Jay.   Jay goes up first, and in his cute/annoying voice asks what's going on.  The five offer him an olive brance & Tarzan says, "Looks like you backed the wrong horse."  They tell Jay that if he changes his mind right now, he can be with them.  Jay agrees.  Way to go, male model!  Then Matt comes on up.  When he realizes what's going on, he pulls Troyzan aside and shovels him the hugest load of crap I've ever heard on this show.  Something about how he should have been in their alliance all along.... and really they should make another alliance with Jonas and... oh I can't remember.... and then something crazy about how they are roosters and the rest of the "regular joes" are chickens and the roosters deserve to be in control... and on... and on... and on.  Whaaaaaat?  And Troyzan was a champ.  He just listened to all of it, shook hands with Matt, and voted his butt out of the game.  Hee hee.  Troyzan: "It's not Survivor unless someone's lying."  Love him. 

OK, so it was Matt who ended up getting voted out, but it was almost Bill.  Let's discuss Bill for a sec.  Bill is full-on nuts.  I had no idea.  Well, first of all, Bill might have gotten the vote just for losing the challenge.  Then there's the fact that he's super annoying, especially to Colton.  Colton's facial expressions whenever Bill talks kill me.  (Colton went so far as to say that Bill was "ghetto trash" which might have been taking things a bit far, non?  However, I think I'd have trouble living with Bill too.)  And Colton kind of controls his alliance. He was delightful in Tribal Council.  "I know I'm not going home because I've got the idol."  Jeff gets big eyes.  Jeff goes on to ask Colton if he thinks he's putting a huge target on his back because of his association with the girls.  "Nooooooo, not really", says Colton.  "It's just that all my friends are girls back home and I'm more comfortable with them.  Girls pet you and tell you everything's ok..."  Jeff's eyes get bigger.  Now, I think it was Bill - in a moment of clarity - who said that maybe Colton judged the rest of the men as much as he thought he was being judged himself.  Hmmm.  Discuss. 

Then, when asked about his own feelings about being at Tribal Council.... Bill spouted off some serious Crazy.  Something like...."DUDE, I am so JACKED to be here. It's crazy.  I am like, so excited.  Even if I'm the one to go home, at least I was here and it's AMAZING.  I'm PUMPED.  Let's DO THIS THING!"  Uhhhh, take it down a notch.  This is where Colton was like, "See?"   So the way I see it, the girls never ate their two chickens they caught and now the average-joe-chicken alliance edges out the ab-4-rooster alliance leading me to believe that it is, in fact, better to be a chicken than a lawyer with your own firm, Matthew J. Quinlan Law Offices.  Chickens 3, Roosters zip.  There are tons more jokes in there too, about being cocky, and about how eating crow tastes a lot like chicken, but I'm too sick to come up with them.